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Showing results for tags 'civility'.
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On many occasions I have heard Stefan propose the following standard for social interactions: "Treat someone the best you can when you first meet them, after that treat them how they treat you." (or some variation of that) But I'm not sure that this is the best strategy for a person who is trying to affect positive change in the world... and I don't think it often reflects Stefan's observable approach. Perhaps I just don't understand what he is suggesting in practice. And there are specifics that probably need clarification. For instance, I'm not sure how much effort or time constitutes "the first time" you meet someone. It seems to me you would want to account for the fact that sometimes people are just having a bad day, and they need some space or some help getting through whatever is influencing their negative behavior at the time. A kind word or a thoughtful gesture can often influence the other person's behavior in a more positive direction. And even if someone is exhibiting offensive behavior (which cannot be partly explained by unusual circumstances), is the best response to mirror back their own offensive behavior? Doesn't that just tend to make an already deteriorating situation worse? Rather than allowing the negativity to determine the outcome, couldn't we be more effective at spreading truth and virtue by taking the "high road" so to speak? I've heard Stefan do this many times in his call in shows. There are times when a caller will act rather abrasively towards him. And while Stefan doesn't tolerate this behavior (he usually calls it out) he also does not typically respond with the same negative approach. And often he will succeed in bringing the entire conversation to a higher and more respectable level where true principles at least have a chance of being heard and accepted. I think the impetus for Stef's recommendation is an understandable desire for protection from potential abusers. But treating others kindly or with civility does not mean that you need to accept abuse. It is a false dichotomy to say that you can either treat offensive people how they treat you or else you must accept their abuse. If we want to lift people to a higher level of being, I think the golden rule (for all interactions--not only the initial encounter) is a much better standard to follow.
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- Philosophy
- Social Interaction
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