Search the Community

I'm am a fairly new atheist and have not "come out" to anyone but my husband as of yet. He is supportive and empathetic though he still identifies as a Christian. I am very nearly ready to come out to my husband's immediate family and one very close friend, as they all still presume me to be a devout Christian as they are and they keep asking me to attend and/or help out with church events and I feel like a fraud making up excuses for why I can't. I think calling a family meeting to announce my nonbelief seems melodramatic, but all the resources I've found online seem to just assume I will use this format when coming out to my family. My problem with this lies in that my father-in-law is working/living out of state and my close friend is also out of state for school. On top of this, everyone in the family has very busy schedules that would be hard or impossible to synchronize for a big family get-together so that I could tell them all in person. While I'd love for everyone to find out about my nonbelief in the most organic way possible (in conversation), I don't want anyone finding out secondhand, which would be unavoidable I think; I want everyone to hear it directly from me. I have a "coming out" letter almost finished and edited, but now that I'm reading all these things online that assume an in-person meeting is the way to go, I'm second guessing myself about whether to use an emailed letter as my method. I think I would communicate more effectively and thoroughly in a letter, but I also think it could make things a bit weird since it puts the ball completely in their court to come talk to me about anything they might want to ask or say. I am most interested in the story of anyone who has religious family and can relate to what it's like to be surrounded by people who assume you believe the same way they do until you contradict that assumption. And I'm interested specifically in the story of anyone who "came out" to their religious family by some means other than a dramatic family meeting. Is there any great way to do this? Is the letter an entirely bad idea? As a side question: to what extent do you address religious friends' and acquaintances' religiously motivated posts on social networks? If someone posts something specifically about atheists that is just ridiculous and makes a habit of publishing falsehoods about evolution, etc., do you just roll your eyes and ignore them, or do you think certain things are worth addressing?