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Hey I spotted a few similar topics in this section of the forums so I thought I'd try posting my own. After all this is the place I'm most likely to find a thinking specimen of the human race that I'm aware of. Name's Bianca. I stated I'm Dutch mostly to communicate my location rather than as an identity. I've been working on my issues (childhood emotional neglect mostly) for close to five years of which the past two years have been the most intense. First a bit of the usual stuff: Languages spoken: Dutch and English with a little German on the side. I have a lot of interests and hobbies such as drawing/painting, reading/writing, horseback riding, clay casting and I do a few hours of volunteer work every week (gardening at a farm which is the home base of an organization that offers group transportation to low income elderly and people with disabilities). I also love gaming, computers and the internet. Aside from that I love browsing second hand stores, book stores (love em!) and visiting flea markets. I currently work in IT at an insurance company but I'm planning on starting an on-line store which would be close to a charity shop, basically reselling my flea market finds and some of my original work. Part of the income will go to various charities (I'm sure we can cut FDR in somehow ). Due to my parents never having bothered to open a book on parenting long enough to read past the introduction I have emotional neglect issues like little empathy for myself and social awkwardness. This made me an easy target for bullies both in school, at home and beyond which has made me cautious around people I've never met before. I'm working on developing my own 'wants' as before I simply didn't have any (that is, any that weren't in line with those around me). One of the ways I'm working on that is by undertaking more activities outside the house like regularly planning trips to events like markets and soon a medieval fair (where I'll actually be dressing up because I wanted to ). I've had 1 (count them) relationship so far when I was 26 which was an enormous mistake on my part. The man I chose appeared to be confident and to know what he wanted out of life (exactly the things I lacked). When I came closer it turned out that the complete opposite was true. He was extremely clingy and dependent and wondered aloud why this radiant being would choose to spend time with him, some peasant crawling around in the muck (seriously that's what he said). Being anything but confident (or radiant for that matter) myself there was no way this was going to turn out good so after only two months I called an end to it. After that I became even more confused about people and relationships (how can you ever truly know a person well enough to date them?) so I went back to not dating. I spent some time trying to figure out if I had seen red flags but not noticed them. I'm now a lot better at recognizing facades and, having been an FDR listener for a few years now, have a keener eye for red flags in general. I've been in talk therapy for a while but found that talking didn't necessarily help me but maybe I just didn't have the right connection with the therapist in question. Currently I'm doing Haptotherapy which is dealing with touch/proximity stuff and also includes exploring damage done in the past to an extent. Aside from that I'm starting an NLP practitioner course early 2015 which'll be 16 days and I'm guessing it'll be pretty intense. I've done two courses in 'body work' before and a course in assertiveness/personal effectiveness which showed me that I'm actually a lot more capable than I used to give myself credit for. Uhm...what else. I'm 5ft7 and of a 'healthy' build. Brown hair, gray eyes and with a voice not unlike Ayn Rand except without the accent Oh and I don't smoke... I don't drink either unless it's a social occasion. I'm fairly calm and I don't tend to draw attention to myself. My past has made me more of a listener and observer which before was a pure necessity though I still find it useful for less-survival driven occasions. You learn a lot by simply listening. The photo was taken during my holiday in Bristol last August. My friend surprised me, hence the wide eyed expression That's it for now! **BELOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR** As pointed out I hadn't actually said anything about who I'm looking for. Slight oversight on my part. Since I'm fairly new to relationships as a whole I'm looking for someone who's willing to be patient with me as I learn the ropes. They should be 35 years and up. I'm looking for someone who's interested in building a future together and raising another member of the new peaceful generation. I'd like someone who's calm like me, down to earth, good humored, patient as mentioned above and maybe a little stubborn. Someone who enjoys similar activities, ignores newspapers and dislikes watching TV. An affinity with creativity is not required but would probably help