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NOTE: I am not a father, nor am I a father to be. I am far from becoming a father let along a husband or boyfriend, I'm too busy building he nest to seek life for the nest. This question is both for me in advance as well as for me as a novelist trying to impart the principles of peaceful parenting and self-knowledge onto the general reader. Childhood trauma, as is known, is the root cause of most dysfunction and generally results in a very repetitive cycle across generations. What I am interested in is how someone in these scenarios is likely to turn out (both in terms of character traits as well as life choices after childhood) and what is most likely to be the time when they (because I am crafting characters who revolt against the cycle and endeavor to make their children into something opposed to their own history) pursue self-knowledge, and what they ought to do at that point. Below is a list of various traumatizing circumstances, some more common than others, and what I am looking for is not how someone with all these problems but rather any one of these problems individually (any exception to this request I'll point out explicitly). 1: Malnurishment/Food deprived childhood: I am also curious as to how much this would affect a boy and girl's body given how dieting as a child correlates with height and body mass. 2: Regular beatings by authority: Including both parents, caretakers of orphanages, civil authority, etc. 3: Regular fights with peers: From a child's point of view especially. 4:Molestation: For both boys and girls. 5: Viewing someone else be molested by an elder. 6: Gang violence in both neighborhood and among young children. Think '20-'30s Italian mobster kind of gangs, not modern gangs, although the distinction may or may not be significant. 7: Verbal abuse by hypocritical authority. 7.5: EXTREME physical abuse from authority: think chains and restraints, as well as medieval punishments such as hanging from within a gibbet (a metal cage that restricts all bodily movement). 8: Physical abuse by hypocritical authority. This is somewhat distinct from arbitrary beatings, but I don't know by how much. 9: Negligence from/by elders and authorities. 10: Childhood in isolation from any kind of caretaker or guardian. 11: A rather specific childhood in which a princess grows up without family, for they committed suicide/were killed in fighting during a very big WWII-style monumental war. This may be distinct from number 10 because the character is wealthy enough to not be deprived of basic resources, but deprived of human contact let alone affection, up until the age of 12, where positive human contact (through a friend) is only for half a year until the age of 18, when total isolation resumes. What kind of person would she be? What would it take for her to pursue self-knowledge and what would likely happen if she doesn't? 12: A childhood which combines numbers 1,2,3,5,6,7,7.5, and 8. This character was raised in an orphanage and abused very severely growing up, while surrounded by hundreds of other abused orphans in an environment best described as Jew in a Concentration Camp during the Holocaust, with emaciated bodies and abusive elder orphans aplenty. What kind of life would someone growing in this hell likely have, what kind of traits would they exhibit, and what is the most likely time for this character to pursue self-knowledge and reformation? I understand these questions are mostly hypothetical and therefore unimportant compared to real issues faced by real people, however, I want to be able help those who have suffered some of these abuses by demonstrating important characters with these scars overcoming them and reforming, as well as those not doing so as a counter-example. I would appreciate any advice I can get, both as a novelist, and a future father and husband.
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- fatherhood
- peaceful parenting
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