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The situation: I've been asked to be the 'Best Man' for a good friend, which is honestly something I never expected to face. I'm honored to fulfill the role, but I do have some problems with it. My own parents divorced when I was six, leaving me with a lasting bad impression of marriage. My mother is currently undergoing the process for her third divorce. I've seen marriage used too often to merely trap a partner, either for temporary or lasting financial security, directly from the father or through government subsidies, or for reproduction out of some unconcious desire to replicate the hasty, clueless babymaking of their own parents. I met this friend through mutual friends in university and, though he has a couple years on me, we've gone through the philosophical, theological and political awakening side by side, challenging and encouraging each others ideas. Though I rarely use the terms to avoid straw-manning of arguements, we are atheist AnCaps. For as long as I've known him, almost ten years now, he has been romantically attached to the woman he's now proposed to. While I obviously don't know her as well as he does, I entirely trust his judgement of her character, and completely agree that she is very unlikely to treat him the way so many women have treated other men. I'm absolutely certain they intend to have children one day, when they are in a financially advantageous position to do so, which may be soon, and I'm certain she'd be a great mother, non-violent, caring and fair, and he a great father. I'm at the age where a lot of friends are starting to marry and have children. Some, I would say, unwisely. I think if anyone can make marriage work then these two people have the best chance out of anyone I know, and they are fully on board with the idea and principles of Peaceful Parenting. But I still have my reservations on marriage itself. I expect I'm going to have to give a speech at a ceremony sooner or later and I don't want to bomb it with my shaky trust in the institution of marriage, and how it is more and more frequently used almost like a social weapon. I'm painfully aware that my doubts stem from my own prior experiences, so any help rendered in overcoming this aspect of my personality would be greatly appreciated.

Hey community, just checking to see if I have any members near me to meet up, hang out with and talk to Would be nice to have some friends close to home. I'm in SJ, if anyone is interested and available.

I've brought up a couple statistics and facts about cops. The domestic violence statistics, how addictive and dangerous power is on the scientific level, how the system is broken (it's immoral, worsens the problems it tries to solve and is a recepie for corruption, violence and injustice), but the party we were at moved forwards and I wasn't able to further the conversation to the NAP. We are hanging out more and more though, and this conversation will come up again. He brought the conversation to me- knowing I'm an anarchist. He is open to reason, and he is willing to talk to just about anyone to learn other points of view. I'm not certain yet if this is an appeasement tactic or a genuine search for knowledge, but either way he dialogues with me so that's a plus. Additionally- he takes correction very well, he conceded a couple points to me, which is why I have hope to bring voluntarism and philosophy to another individual. Does anyone have any experience with these kinds of situations? What works? What doesn't? I'm going to bring up the "against me" argument, as well as Kokesh's "do you own your body" argument. But I want a couple more tools to help illustrate the philosophy. I can bring utilitarian points all day, but I want to avoid those points until after he has universal principles and the NAP down. Any help, would be massively appreciated. I also remember a couple points that he brought up if that helps- he is statist, and he thinks he is a 'bad kid' for the basic spectrum of nonviolent crimes, but thinks he can help and protect he and his family best if he is on the side of the state. He loves the tools of the police, and their ability to hunt and track down drug dealers, as believes that with the growing threat of domestic and Islamic terrorism, that militarizing the police is justified.

Last week I tried to have an open and honest conversation with an friend of mine and the conversation ended with her leaving the table. I have known her since freshman year of college( so for two years now), but we were never close as I liked us to be. Over the Summer I had a phone conversation where I discussed the process I am going though, such as talking to my mom about my childhood and the horrors she did to me. She responded by saying things like "some kids can take it, but some cant"(whoopings), "my friend has an abusive mom and for some reason she still goes to see her", "my parents wooped me but I am not mad at them for doing so". After she said all of this, I immediately felt sad, why did i feel sad? I felt sad because I felt like I did not get any empathy for what happened to me and how I am trying to recover. I am not looking for a reaosn to be mad at this girl, but that is genuinely how I felt in that moment. And yes some will say I should have brung up my feeling to her right then and there, but I was too afraid to. So fast forward to last week, i try to do rtr with her at lunch and tried my best to sound non-aggressive/confrontational. Me:"I may be wrong but some reason I feel a lack of connection in our relationship". Her: "Why?" Me: "I have no idea". Her: "Okay torien, you have to understand we are not that close I mean, I only see you a couple time month, we are not at that level yet". Me:"How do you see me" Her:"i mean I see you like everybody else, someone to talk to, normal" Me:" Right, okay how are you feeling now?" Her:" I feel uncomfortable" Me:" why?" Her: "Because you bring this up out of no where I feel like you are not saying what you want to say" Me:" Okay, true, true. Over the summer I told you about my mom and what she did to me when I was little, and I may be wrong but I did not feel empathy coming from your end". Her:" I am sorry that you felt like I was not being empathetic towards you. I was not doing that intentionally". Me: "Okay, thank you for saying that. what do you think about my mom?" Her:" I mean thats family, you can't just talk about someone's mom like that. Also you never told me I could talk about your mom or that I you would not get mad if I do so".Me:"Right, but right now I am allowing you to talk about my mom!" Her:"You dont just talk about someone elses mom torien". Me:"Right, right, but I told you she was abusive though. No one will look at a man hitting his wife in a grocery store and say "well let them do there thing its none of our business"". Her: "Okay but thats a different situation, my best friend has a terrible mom but for some reason she keeps staying with her". Me:"Her moms abusive?" Her:" Yeah, but it seems like they get along now, I am not about to talk about her mom though, you just dont do that" Me:"What do you mean?" Her:"I dont think you are hearing me torien" Me: "but why not though??" Her:"Because I dont want to hurt her feelings" Me: "And thats your best friend?" Her:" I have some studying to do"- she then gets up and leaves the conversation.My stomach was in a tight knot after the conversation and I was breathing heavily, I was just taken by surprise. I need you all to help me out. Was it to early for me to start this type of dialogue? Can someone explain how true friends are created? Lastly, I realized what bothered me about her so much. She is very politically correct. She cant take a stand when it comes to something like comdeming abusers(particularly parents). I would have said that but that did come to my mind while we were talking. If someone can't condem abusive parents that really hurts my feelings. Was I being selfish in the dialogue? Did i not give her a fair chance? I desperately want to get to the level of friendship she talked about, but I feel that my passion for this philosophy may come in to early. It is like oxygen to me.

How real is the word friendship? I would like to hear ( read ) your opinions, and experiences about it.