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We all know how rare it is to come across healthy individuals, let alone healthy families. I find it very fascinating to see healthy people interacting, especially when that joy of living is shared across the generations. I want to create this kind of positive familial environment, too, and given how hard this is to achieve when coming from a dysfunctional background, it is good to see it existing in another place. Imagine growing up as one of those children! The video below is by the successful YouTuber Wranglerstar, which is a homesteading channel.

Something happened to me at the gym today. I am new at a new gym, and the girl who is usually there gave me a lot of attention today. I am quite the handsome fella, especially when I turn on my "true self" as I have done a lot of self-knowledge in order to be very authentic when being myself, and I did that to some extent today with her, but I was still "goofy", because I have very little experience with girls, as unfortunate as that is. And I did "hold" back my personality a bit. Is that "allowed"? So she asked me what I did, why I was there (I am in a foreign country), about whether or not I had friends there and whatnot. I told her I am experienced in weightlifting (but currently going through rehab) and she asked me if I could teach her a bit. I did, but still goofy. It was fun, I laughed, broke a joke or two, and she laughed and smiled as well (I always am careful looking if the other person in the interaction is enjoying it). Then when we went back to our exercises, I sort of "retired", went back to my shit, and then it was a bit "awkward" again. I think it is something I have to become comfortable with, this "spontaneous" stuff. I don't understand, or do I? What does a human do here? Can one become friends with her? Or? It is just so confusing. I am a handsome fella with a good posture, but I have yet to become experienced with really talking to girls to ask them out on a date or something. Her butt is amazing and squat form almost perfect. I am in Eastern Europe now partly because of my injury (free-market medicine here and super cheap massages, etc), and I can speak Russian without an accent because of a lot of hard work, and I have zero ties to Russia; no relatives. Maybe this comes across as attractive and cool or something to these people, including this girl, what do you think? Because it is something that takes a lot of hard work to achieve. She surely gave me a lot of attention today, because I "let go" a good percent (maybe 85%) of the "awkwardness" I usually feel, and broke out in a very confident and comfortable manner without feeling pressure, which surely ignited her willingness to be more interactive with me as opposed to other times where I can stay quiet the entire time (in other gyms and places, that is). She came back to me regularly and we talked about different stuff, and it was not awkward, but all the while I felt something like "well yeah, I am enjoying this stuff, but in order for me to 'deserve' intimacy with a person, I need to be better like some super-amazing comedian or something who is 200% confident all the time and 'say all the right things' every single time" -- that is how my brain went, and I realize this is due to a lot of abusive shit in my childhood, yes. However can you tell me what you think about this? You can ask me questions if you want, and I'll answer them to the best of my abilities. "In-the-moment-things" are hard to talk about after the fact as your body is, well... in the moment, right? In the moment you can feel in one way, and then when you're at the computer, then you don't feel that way anymore and you're thinking about hot-dogs and food, so it is a bit of a hazzle to describe this stuff that just happened, but I'm trying, and I want to, because I really need to understand myself better and understand social interactions better as it is crucial to my survival as a socially interactive human being in this world, and today was good; I didn't expect it, and I enjoyed it, and the girl is very attractive. I have a great desire to become close to new, good people, like just "hanging out" casually, take it slow, watch a movie, and stuff like that. Basically meeting new people and hanging out. "Am I allowed to?" is a feeling that often goes through my mind. I just don't know what this stuff "is" as I've actually only ever started hanging out with people that I've met on the Internet, so that is the way it has gone so far, but, as I said in my earlier thread, I need to do it in real life because that is what humans do. "Am I hot enough?" is also a feeling that goes through my mind sometimes, especially during interactions, even though I know I'm above average when it comes to physical attraction which I have had confirmed many times by hot girls (only they count). So. Would she want to be my friend? Does she find me a cool kid? I just don't know how these things "go". Maybe I could ask her for her vk.com next time since I am only at the gym a few times, and since I will probably be going back to Europe in a week or so. Like, I do not really know these things and would like if you guys could maybe analyze the situation for me a bit. What do you guys think I should do? I have had a recurring pattern to have interactions with people without it "leading" anywhere, and it is very painful at this point knowing that I "could've" taken them somewhere. It's a matter of not really knowing "how these things go" and how to take them "further" than just mundane, every-day interactions. What do you think? Thanks! - henderyjem

I've recorded a few new videos. Here's one of them, where I talk about healthy ways of handling differences in personal relationships and of changing people's minds. Part two coming soon.