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Hello everyone! I had some thoughts that I wanted to share. Since I started pursuing self-knowledge last year, I have had the thought in the back of my mind, that if I just get enough self-knowledge, if I just get over x obstacles in my mind, if I just put the right amount of blame on this parent, it will all work out on it's own. That I won't really have to do anything, that all my anxieties, all my pain will go away. That I'll emerge a superhero from the smoking rubble of my childhood. That's the thought I have had in my mind since day 1 of self-knowledge. I am asking myself, and you incredibly kind and intelligent people, is this fantasy? Is there, in fact, no point in self-knowledge, where you can feel free from your anxieties? Free from your pain? That no matter how much you grieve, how much you cry out in anger, you will never really be free from your anxieties. That instead, self-knowledge and grieving makes you understand, that you are not a defenseless child at the mercy of cruel parents anymore. And that you simply need to grit your teeth through your everyday anxieties. Because living like you hadn't been abused, is the only thing you can do. That turned out way more depressing than I intended. What I mean to say is, is perhaps one of the biggest parts of self-knowledge, to trust yourself to know, that your anxieties where useful in the past, but just something you have to challenge to get through your life, in the present? To take a strong stand for yourself in the face of your past traumas. Or am I wrong? Is there a real light at the end of the tunnel? Or is that something one has to imagine there being, to push on through life? I feel like I am calling people liars when I am writing this... I am sorry if that is indeed the case, I don't think people would lie about something like that... Maybe it's because I am feeling down at the moment. I didn't even realise that until now. If what I am saying is correct, that you just have to march on despite feeling anxious about things, maybe that personal responsability is just really hitting me now. Maybe that's why I feel down. I don't mean any harm with what I just wrote. But, if there is harm in it, please let me know! Any comment would be highly appriciated, as always.