Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'long distance'.
-
Hi FDR. I'm a 20 year old woman from Canada currently dating a 20 year old man from the US. We both met online, and we're pretty early in our relationship. I met him about a month ago, and we've been together for about 3 weeks now. He's my first boyfriend, and since we're thousands of miles away, it takes quite a bit of effort to maintain, as well as a lot of trust. The reason I decided to date this guy was because we're both in to the alt-right movement, and are anti-feminist, anti-globalist, and we're both interested in getting married in our mid-20s and having at least 5 kids. He supports my goal of eventually leaving my current full-time career once I have children to become a stay at home mom, and he also supports my desire to not have PIV sex before marriage. He also supports my desire to homeschool any kids we have. Even though we've only been talking for a month, we've both fallen head over heels for each other, despite the fact we've never talked over Skype and only through text chat and swapping selfies of each other. We've spent up to 10 hours chatting with each other over Discord. He's currently in university and lives with 8 other people, so he hasn't had the opportunity to have a facetime with me since he's always being interrupted by drunk roommates. We've both told each other "I love you" and since we have so many compatibilities, both in our love of romantic gestures, and in our long-term goals and politics, it was hard not to fall in love with him. Before we started dating, I asked him the usual Stefan tells FDR listeners to ask suitors. Long-term goals, about children, how they want to raise children, their views on circumcision, discipline, schooling, as well as what his family is like, his childhood was like, and about his sexual history. He told me he had dated a few girls online, but had never met them in real life, so he was still a 100% virgin. Never even kissed anyone. I'm the same way, I've never dated anyone, so I'm still a virgin. When we were having a chat today, he let it slip that he had met one of his exes in real life back when they were dating. This then prompted the question of how it was possible that he'd met her and hadn't kissed her. He then admitted he had kissed her, and upon my asking if anything else beyond that happened, he shut down and said he was uncomfortable talking about it. This was a major red flag for me. It really broke my heart, not that he had an ex he'd slept with, but the fact he lied about being a virgin. I was contemplating breaking up with him right then and there. He told me the reason he lied was because he had only broken up with his ex of a year 2 months ago and that he felt it was "TMI". He said he wouldn't want to know about my sexual history either, and that he feels the past is in the past. He told me it wasn't personal, that he wouldn't have told any girl he's dating about his sexual past. My problem wasn't that he "didn't bring up" his sexual history, but that he lied about it. He explained that he wanted to make me feel that we'd share the experience of first kissing better if I thought I was his first too. I'm really confused as to what to do now. I consulted my brother (he's also an FDR listener) and he told me to simply take some time to think and let my feelings settle, and realize there are other good men out there I don't have to be in an online relationship with who also want to have a large, traditional family, who also want to homeschool their kids and want a homemaker wife. He told me it's good I discovered this red flag only a month in to the relationship since some people find it out 5 years after marrying someone. My boyfriend told me this is the only thing he lied about, and mainly because he doesn't like talking about past relationships. I don't know if I can trust anything he says now since this is such a big lie. But at the same time, besides this lie, we were so compatible. - Want to homeschool kids to avoid them from being indocrinated - Anti-spanking since it's cruel and ineffective - Anti-circumcusion - Pro-Trump - Want to get married in mid-20s and have at least 5 kids - Non-religious - Health-conscious and exercise regularly - Alt-right - He's going to a good university with a degree that will give him a great job - Parents are still together - We both don't smoke or do drugs like weed - Willing to wait until marriage for PIV sex (to avoid pregnancy and ensure a greater likelihood any marriage will work) He's also incredibly romantic, amiable, and just generally makes me feel like a million bucks when I speak to him. I just don't know whether he lied because he made a mistake and didn't want to hurt my feelings, or because it's a red flag he's immature and will lie again AKA I should break up with him. Before this happened, I legitimately thought this was a man I could marry. FDR, please tell this lady your thoughts. I'm really confused right now.
- 30 replies
-
- 2
-
- lies
- relationship
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with: