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I am a dad who gets to see my son for the day once a week. He is seven, grade two, and, up until today, he believed in Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. I don't remember what we were talking about when he seemingly randomly said to me "Santa isn't real.". I haven't talked about Santa with him for years after learning more about ethics, I did somewhat indulge the fantasy when he was about three, but I swore to myself that I wouldn't lie to him about anything including this. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to provoke his mother or teachers so I didn't outright tell him either. Today while we were playing Lego together he told me "Santa isn't real". I responded with the truth and we had a long talk about many different things including lying, trust, whether its possible for a human to eat a billion cookies in one night, whether its possible for a human to visit 40+ houses a minute for 12 hours solid, and many other things. He was hurt that he was lied to by others, like his mom, and hurt that I lied through omission by not simply telling him the truth earlier. I promised him that I'll never lie to him again and apologised sincerely and we had an incredibly emotionally intimate bonding experience where we talked about things like what dreams are, why people tell kids Santa is real even though he isn't how I want him to feel like he would choose me to be his dad if he had a choice because of the fact that he didnt. Much more memorable time than the usual video game fest we have. When I dropped him off back at his moms later in the day (a woman I never should have dated to begin with, highly volatile personality) I told her that he told me Santa isn't real and that I confirmed his suspicion. She was pissed. She basically yelled at me for 5 minutes about "There's reasons you should lie about these things" and "Do you have any idea how much I put into Santa for him", all within earshot of Aidan, the window was open, as I stuttered around her assault attempting to explain myself but failing miserably. I am now worried that she is going to use our son as an emotional pin cushion for her to attempt to manage her anger and I am questioning whether it was correct to tell him the truth in this situation. Hindsight is supposed to be 20/20, yet the only conclusion I can derive from this latest eruption is that I never should have dated such a mess of control issues of a woman. However, that conclusion doesn't seem to have much to offer in terms of best dealing with the hole I dug for my son BY creating him with this woman, and possibly by being honest with him when his mom prefers a lie. I should also mention that she mentioned in her tirade that I should have called her when he made the proposition. What do you think? Honesty is the first virtue is it not? I understand that there are some things you don't tell kids like the ISIS beheadings, that's not a lie if you don't talk about it, which is similar to how I've approached the Santa thing in the past, but where do you draw the line when you know your child CAN understand all the ins and outs of the situation and is actively seeking the truth of if, yet his emotionally abusive mom is emotionally attached to the idea of him remaining blissfully, or not so blissfully, ignorant? I thought that telling her up front what happened was the best idea, 'soften the blow' so to speak, but now I'm questioning whether I should have maybe told my son the truth but to keep it a secret from his mom, or if I should have simply gone along with the crazy lady and continued to 'lie by omission' as I have before. Now that I've written this post I'm thinking that I did the right thing by telling him the truth and apologising for not doing so earlier. Now A) He knows the truth. and B) He knows I respect him enough to tell him the truth. Anyway if anyone has any insight into anything I might have missed here I would love to get your thoughts. Also if anyone has any similar stories and how they dealt with them I would love to hear about that too. Thanks again for reading and thanks in advance for any responses.