Search the Community

I have heard many FDR podcasts where Stefan suggests call the "authorities" or call the cops in situations of abuse. I always find this irritating. From my experience, the "authorities" are most problematic in areas where abuse is most common. I live in an area now where I hear neighbors fighting. I have heard people yelling on another block when I had the windows closed at night. I see little children, clearly neglected, smashing up abandoned houses that are dangerous. I have heard stories about little pre-kindergarten children killing feral kittens. I did not call anyone and won't. I see the police as some of the most despicable thugs around. I try to be friendly to people especially children. I figure the best thing to do at this time is just interact in a positive way so they see a positive communication modeled. I'm not great at it, but I think it's worth trying to communicate in this way so they see that there are other types of people in this world. Not surprising, I have heard rumors spread about me being abusive. These rumors appear to come from the neighbors who I imagine are the most abusive based on the behavior of their children. They are projecting their abuse onto me. I believe Stefan's only argument for calling these people into an abusive situation is they are the only option we have right now. This argument is only valid if it is believed that the police are actually beneficial and are working for the ends they claim. They are not. Their stated goals only serve as cover for their predatory behavior. Their only purpose is to intimidate people into complying with the dictates of statists including themselves. They make up false accusations to get arrests. They cowardly target those who pose no harm while ignoring those who are a real danger. They prey upon those who appear unable to defend themselves. Sounds like the behavior of an abusive parent, right? The victims of the abuse hang onto the delusion that their abusers are there to protect them. The state is clearly just an extension of the dysfunctional family. To call in predators to deal with predators is to support predators. It's possible that my experiences with cops and other similar types are very different from what many others experience. The Ontario and British police may be mostly nice fellows in some areas. Maybe Stef's suggestion comes out of his wishful thinking that calling them will be productive or that someone could have called and prevented abuses done to him. Maybe he is still hanging onto the myth of a savior coming in to solve a problem. Letting go of this faith in imposed authorities leads to the uncomfortable reality that there is no protector. If we can tolerate this reality, we can begin to form new solutions that may actually benefit those who are being abused. It will take a long time to get these solutions to a productive level, but we have to begin. And we can't begin if we continue to live in the fantasy of a cop or CPS worker coming in and saving children. Building a free society involves de-normalizing abuse and seeing it for what it is, and those who tolerate abusive "authorities" are those who have normalized abuse. This meme of normalizing abuse is what needs to be destroyed. The meme of attachment to an abuser as is so common in the most abusive cultures must be destroyed. I'm sure many of you have noticed that insulting a person's mother is taken most personally by those who have the most abusive mothers. This is a painful reality that musty be exposed. So what are the solutions? I don't know. But focusing on spreading new memes is the best solution right now. Model positive interactions. Break down the free society, or more appropriately a transitional society, into the memes that comprise it. Advertise these memes so thoroughly that children who are unsatisfied will begin to question societal norms. Make the questioning of parents a normal behavior. Get it into discussion. Some ideas I have are posting billboards with lines such as: "Mothers who love don't hit." "Mothers who love don't yell at children." "Respect Children" "Break the cycle. Respect children." A business idea I have had that is probably not yet possible is a business made up of people who go around to homes where abuse is suspected and simply discusses peaceful parenting while empathizing with the frustrations of the parents. It would take the right kind of people to do this, something I am not. I think it may also have to wait until after some of the memes of questioning parents have been promoted sufficiently. This would also have to be funded on a donation based model something I also cannot afford. I have other ideas and am open to suggestions from anyone who is interested in this idea. Your feedback will be appreciated.

I thought this might be interesting to discuss. http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/2012/0912/Top-5-bullying-myths-What-you-don-t-know-about-bullying/