Search the Community

Hi all, My brother is 27 with 4 children. He is currently living under the same roof as his children and partner (mother of his children). He has no time for his kids and acts like they are good for nothing burdens in his life. He is very selfish, does not like parting with his money to help support/raise his children. He does nothing to help his partner around the house or to raise his children. He is verbally, emotionally and physical abusive. He calls them pricks and cu#ts to their faces. He seems particularly hateful of his eldest boy who has just turned 7. He did not even say happy birthday when he was opening his presents in the morning. I'm not even sure if he wished him happy birthday at all. (My mum has told me that my father used to do the very same thing with my brother.) This same boy, my nephew recently told his Nan that he hates his dad. You can see the effect this has on this little boy. I believe somehow this is all some kind of history repeating itself as my dad was also a shitty father to his sons. He would favour one over the other. He was also abusive. It's a vicious circle. When I have tried to talk to my brother about this he loses his temper and leaves so that the conversation cannot continue. I tried to arrange for him to go and seek some guidance/counselling to which he never went. I asked him about this recently and he said he didn't go because he hasn't had time. He does not have full-time work at the moment so I know this is just and excuse. I'm at the point where I've asked his partner if there is ANY benefit to the kids with him being around. She said that she agonises over this question constantly. Is there anything at all that I can say to her that might help. I think he is beyond help.