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Hi Everyone. I have recently gone on a couple of dates with a girl I met on an online dating site. We really hit it off within the first two dates, and have been really able to communicate at a high level of honesty. There was a little red flag that popped up on the first date though that I recognized and said that I would investigate it a little more thoroughly. I do plan on having a conversation about this subject with this girl to see where she stands, but I was hoping to get some clarity before I have this discussion. Here's the issue: She is fiercely loyal to her friends and will back her friends up even if they are making a bad decision. I disagree with this. I would do anything in my power to protect my friends from making bad decisions, even if this meant that I don't take their side. She told me of how her best friend fell in love with a local cuban man while on vacation at a cuban resort. Her friend has never had any luck with men in Canada. When I saw a picture of her friend, I could safely say that she wasn't very physically attractive. But granted, I have not met this woman. I was then showed a picture of the man who she has fallen in love with in Cuba, and heck, although I'm straight, I'd fall for this guy! My initial reaction was to question the motives of this relationship and bring up the possibility of being manipulated to escape an oppressive country. I was told that everyone brings this up, but her friend is madly in love. The cuban man has proposed to this girl, although they have only spent 5 days together in person. If this was my friend, I'd make it clear that there was some hormonal blinding taking place here. I wouldn't let my friend make this decision based on some skype conversations and one trip to a resort. This woman's parents are completely against this union. If I did this, my parents would also be completely against this union because they would want to protect me from this blinding. The fact that her parents are not supportive is causing her a great deal of emotional angst. Personally, she's not my friend. I don't have any information about this woman other than what I've told you here. I also don't feel I have any relationship built with either parties to express my opinion in a way that would matter. That's fine. I had the weekend open this past weekend and had planned to hang out with this new girl. I was really looking forward to it. She bailed on me to be there for her friend who was upset with her parents for not supporting her engagement. She texted me part way through the day just because she was a little bored. Her friend just wanted company while she wallowed in front of the TV on a beautiful sunny sunday summer day. Because this was what the friend wanted, she was going to do it. She could have chosen a day on the beach with a picnic lunch with me, which was the original plan. I felt fine originally about the bailing on the date, but after this text, felt highly annoyed that I was put on the backburner for a TV date. So two things going on here. She is supporting her friend in making a rash decision. She is bailing on me to do this. I plan on having a conversation with this new girl in my life. But I don't know if this is a huge warning sign, or if I should just let this go. My concern is that I will invest the time in getting to know this girl, but any instability her friends experience, will become her instability, in which I am going to have to hear about. Who wants that in their life? Any advice would be hugely appreciated.

My Philosophical Online Dating Checklist - Feedback Is Encouraged This list represents my map to decide whom I should send a message on dating sites like OKcupid. Desirable Profile Photos Indicating a happy childhood and ability to communicate effectively: · Genuine, happy face expressions. ----------------------------- This is my unprofessional, scientifically unverified theory of genuine photo smiles: -A photo of a genuine smile indicates a happy childhood.- Let’s imagine someone who grew up in an environment that preyed on his/her expression of any emotion. She/he would develop a defense strategy to hide his/her emotions. This person would experience that her/his expression of his/her friendly happiness is strongly associated with parents getting angry when seeing joy and bullies pulling her/him down to their emotional level of unhappiness. Thus this person would have a deeply ingrained tendency to hide emotions and thus has difficulty to genuinely show happiness. Furthermore this person would feel uncomfortable uploading photos which openly display his/her positive emotions. I therefore conclude that a genuine smile/ laugh indicates a person who is comfortable to express emotions. It’s also likely that the genuine smile is related with a higher probability for this person to having already achieved the ability to actively and openly communicate all thoughts and emotions with a trusted friend (read the free book Real-Time Relationships by Stefan for more information on communication). Persons with a profile photo without emotional expression who become aware of their ingrained and unconscious "automatic anti-smile protection" and work extensively on their self-knowledge will then probably also more often display a genuine smile. ----------------------------- Indicating healthy habits: · Photos shot outdoors Indicating a social life: · Photos taken by a second person Undesirable Profile Photos Indicating low self-esteem: · Photos showing several piercings and tattoos, too much make-up · Photos pushing too hard to display physical attractiveness by showing a lot of skin, cleavage, muscles · Photos that do not clearly show the face of the person (I interpret this as defense mechanism towards being judged) Indicating low empathy: · Photos that do not clearly show the face of the person or the main/first profile photo showing several persons at once (I interpret that as inability to embrace and understand the needs of profile visitors) Desirable occupations: Introduced to the scientific method: · Chemical Engineer, Physician, Biologist etc. Relatively far removed from state influence (legislation etc.) and thus more experienced with free markets: · Veterinarian, photographer, private detective etc. Encouraged and taught to gain more self-knowledge: · Psychologist, psychotherapist Some understanding of childhood development and psychology: · Teacher, kindergarten worker Relatively great exposure to undesirable effects of statist systems (thus likely understanding critique of the statist system) and encouraged to think on their own: · Entrepreneur Undesirable occupations: Relatively heavily state influenced branches: · Public state media, justice system, public state education, bureaucracy administration enforcers, politics, military Desirable Hobbies Indicating developed social skills: · Volleyball, soccer etc., meeting friends etc. Indicating developed self-esteem: · Dancing, singing etc. Indicating interest in self-knowledge: · Psychology, philosophy Desirable Favorite Books: Indicating critical thinking skills: · Animal Farm, 1984, books by your favorite philosopher(s) Desirable Age: An age that is equivalent to your own emotional age will help to relate with your future partner: If you had a difficult childhood your emotional growth has very likely been slowed during your childhood and adolescence. Your biological age might be 28, but your emotional age might be for example 24. So possible partners with a biological age around 24 years are probably the best fit for you. As far as I know listening to FDR and therapy do not help to close the gap between emotional age and biological age. The gap seems to stay with you. (It is assumed that on average a person with a biological age of 24 has the emotional age of 24.) Specific advice for OKcupid: You can use the advanced search feature to look for keywords in profiles like: Stefan Molyneux Stephan Molyneux Freedomain Radio Tuning your algorithm to FDR’s frequency: If you answer a sufficient amount (700 or more) of “match questions” and then sort your matches by “match %” you will be able to filter for persons with a similar perspective on life, similar amounts of self-knowledge and critical thinking ability. I recommend to only answer OKcupid “match questions” that carry philosophical implications and/or are important to you, otherwise your results might get skewed. I for example skipped the following questions which I find unphilosophical and personally unimportant: · “How many live plants do you have in your home?” · “Before people find out your real age, what do they usually assume?” · “How many pillows do you sleep with at night?” Furthermore you can simultaneously filter for Atheists. Skimming for matches: When you have tuned your OKcupid algorithm to FDR’s frequency you can now skim for the most philosophical matches. Visit the profiles with the highest percentage matches and rate them with 5 stars. I visited and rated ca. 500 profiles. I skipped profiles with an unappealing profile photo. In the following weeks and days some of those 500 matches checked out my profile and a subset rated my profile with 4 and 5 stars. OKcupid notifies you when you and your match both rate yourself 4 or 5 stars respectively. You have now access to a group of matches that are tuned to FDR’s frequency and like your profile. OKcupid had allegedly 30 million active users in 2013. (Source:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10421148/OkCupid-review-is-it-the-best-dating-site-for-men.html)