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Greetings great fellows of self-knowledge and philosophy. I have recently joined the board of Freedomain Radio and have been chatting a few times in the chat room ever since. I have instructed people in the past to a better self-knowledge, yet that is something I have yet to obtain myself. Usually I like to be in the helping side so this is very non-habitual of me to ask anything in a forum (especially given these days of Google and Bing.) Stefanfan 101: I’m a worker in his twenties from Western Europe. I wish to begin studying my favorite pastime, philosophy, in the near future of life, since I’m interested in presentation, mind-boggling subjects and virtues. Start-up business like developing innovations is another thing close to my heart. However, the weight would ideally be on philosophy. I’m intelligent and athletic, but far from perfect. My childhood was rough with a violent family and poor conditions. I had nor have little to any power to say anything in home as the youngest – I think that has something to do with why I have a problem in taking independent action; however I’m a fast doer when someone commands to do something (though sometimes I panic a bit amid it.) The home’s quality was nothing to be proud of: it had a lot of mold that has cast awkward injuries to me, albeit frankly they’re not common – wet red eyes or a bleeding nose, both randomly and often during situations when I’d least want that. In my path to university-level philosophy there is one major obstacle, bad memory. Comprehension is not an issue, I can think that ”Aha, so that’s how you do it.” about something in the book, but a day after forget it altogether. Not always but all too often. Then in the exams, I’ll do poorly albeit I have read a lot for it. I have come to think if it’s because of lack of self-discipline, though it’s not that I would do any better if I prepared for it in a class instead. Actually, hours spent reading alone might be more effective for me, as long as I read as much as I’m supposed to. (Well, there's a lot to develop in that regard.) Stefan’s latest podcast about procrastination has been helpful to me and now I realize everything is more about dedication than anything. I still do have a problem of being late constantly – bills, meetings, personal plans – can’t deny that. Last, there is panicking. It doesn't happen daily either, gratefully, and it can also be beneficial sometimes: but e.g. when my angry boss tells to do this or that (we have a hectic environment), I might sometimes panic so that instead of doing a lot I do nothing at all, i.e. I take a small break albeit we’re in a hectic situation. Well it’s not just that. Better example: if an authority like a teacher used to ask me a tight question while I was with a couple of my friends spending a recess in school, I would just blush and be very submissive. That would be humiliating for my friends too and sometimes a great laugh. It was all too common. Albeit I can be nervous, I'm one of the most patient people I've ever met. Perhaps though, if I procrastinated less, I would also panic less. My primary question would be – how can I become a great student? The two other issues come after that. I'd like to read your thoughts on this, as I can't analyze these objectively. Much appreciated