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Hi everybody. I would greatly appreciate if someone could be able to locate this podcast for me. I believe I am looking for this conversation with a young man who just graduated from police academy or was enrolled in classes, but is very disconnected with his emotions and is unsure about his career choice. Stef said some truly impacting words: "I think you're looking for a plan of action when I'm talking about the resurrection of an emotion. Self is not plan, identity is not execution. The truth is not a road map. The world is round. Does that tell you where you want to go? No, it means that if you wanna go somewhere knowing that the world is round is probably a good idea to navigate by. But saying that the world is round doesn't tell you where you should go in the world. It just means that if you wanna go somewhere you'll actually be able to get there. Or even if you should go, or if it's important to you. It's just a fact. And the reason that you were humiliated repeatedly is that you were cut off from parental support. Bullying means you were cut off from parental support. I have never known a child who was bullied who was connected to a parent figure in a positive and loving matter. You see, what happens in the schoolyard has to happen in the crib first. Everything that follows is the shadow cast by parental indifference and alienation, and hostility and lack of bonding lack of connection. Everything that happens in love, in life, in society, in business, in schoolyard, in air planes, and in wars- All of that -is the shadow of people leaning over your crib, with warm words, soft breaths and smiles, or yelling in the next room or watching TV downstairs. You see children see who are connected to parents. -Who is connected to parents, who is connected to parents, who is connected to parents? Ah! See there! That kid? That kid? Lost in space, adrift, no connection, no support. Separated from the herd, caught off from connection caught off from support. BANG! We're gonna get him!- Because what do children fear? If children knew that your parents would go and talk to them or their parents they would go and pick on easier targets right? Or if they knew your parents were gonna go to the principal and have you record stuff on an iPad and play stuff back and play it back and cause a big stink and a big fuss, they wouldn't bother right? The bullies in the playground are an effect of the bullies at home. They can't possibly exist without parental indifference and alienation. And who is your mom to tell you what is a bad experience for you or not. Literally, that's like you getting a piece of cheese cake and you say" Damn this is a great cheese cake." Then I say, "No it's not. It's not great cheese cake for you. You're wrong." If you had a bad experience, you know what? You had a bad experience. If you were scared, know what? You were scared. Who the fuck am I to tell you what your experience is? I am too self interested to be objective about your experience."

i was having a conversation with some guys about the anarchist principles and activism and we came to debate about how could social organization be any different. well, first we were talking about why it should change and what would we want to see. but then we were talking about what we'd like to see based on what is possible or not to happen. we changed the direction from philosophical priciples to practical matters. so i realized that often people don't follow a very straight line when debating (informally), and end up going through a variety of subjects without much objectivity, not even realizing they are doing so for that matter, which is not very productive. anyway, I'm bringing this up because i think analysing debate itself is very illuminating because we can have clear view of where its heading. so we should address it directly. my main point: if we want to have good communication we have to be aware of how it's happening (to say, of course, we must study it). so, while we're at it, let's take the situation above. did you ever have simmilar experiences? do you think this change of subject in a debate is frequent? what makes a good debate and a bad one? P.S.: 1- i think that changing peoples minds relies much more on how we try to do it than the actual content our ideas 2- one of the guys said something like other countries wouldn't tolerate a stateless society, people wouldn't let that happen and i wasn't very sure how to respond to that. it's an abstraction of course (and i think it's a very misleading direction to take) but if you could help me out here with some posts/links suggestions so I can study that, i'd appreciate it

I have a major problem with boredom and hopelessness in my life, and some intelligent outside help from the fine folks at FDR could be mighty helpful. What follows is a summary of abortive career pathways. To provide context, I am in my early 30s. Right after high school, I did a bachelors in chemistry, followed by a masters degree in chemistry. The original goal here was to pursue a doctorate in chemistry, but after watching my colleagues spend 5-8 years of their lives performing repetitive experiments, followed for many by 2-4 years of post-doctoral fellowships (more of the same at a slightly higher pay), l decided to complete a masters degree instead. Although I have always been prone to depression, I did not begin to procrastinate or succumb to apathy until near the end of my masters degree, and even then it was still fairly mild in intensity. Although the lab work in grad school did not appeal to me very much, I really enjoyed teaching (in this program, all grad students taught undergraduate chemistry labs and drop-in problem solving sessions). After doing some reading in the areas of psychology and psychiatry, as well as dating a masters student in counseling psychology, I decided that it would be fun and rewarding to try to teach people how to solve challenges within their own lives. Even at this point in my life, while a political conservative in worldview, I saw how dysfunctional the public school system is, and had no respect for the training in education degree programs (B.Ed.'s), so a career as a high school chemistry teacher was ruled out. Additionally, my mother was a clinical social worker who told me stories of her work, which always sounded interesting, even if conducted within a clearly dysfunctional public mental health system. I now think that I was given an unwarrantedly positive view of psychiatrists by my mother, and a somewhat negative view of clinical psychologists. So after finishing my M.Sc. in chemistry, I rather naively set off for medical school as a means to the end of becoming a psychiatrist. If other interesting career options within medicine caught my imagination while on that road, so much the better. So, I was in medical school for three years with a goal of pursuing a career in psychiatry. When I began my medical school career, I was not a libertarian (much less an anarcho-capitalist) and more or less fully bought into the propaganda behind conventional psychiatry. This has changed substantially, and my goal in medical school was modified into my current goal of doing training in psychiatry, augmented with additional training in psychotherapy, in order to become a direct pay psychotherapist who might have used medication sparingly. I succumbed to apathy and boredom after a few months in medical school, as well as depression, and was unable to continue after struggling for three years in this endeavor (actually four years if you count an additional year of undergrad I took in order to improve my GPA). After washing out of a mind-numbing stint in medical school, I've set myself the goal of becoming a direct-pay psychotherapist. In order to pursue this, I'm now back taking undergrad courses in psychology in an attempt to prepare for graduate training in clinical psychology. Right now I am finishing one semester out of a necessary four semesters needed to apply to graduate school in clinical psychology. However, after the novelty of this change of environment wore off (within about three or four weeks), I find myself not caring at all about the content, thinking the next two years of undergrad psychology will be boring and mostly useless (in terms of useful knowledge), and suspecting that graduate training in clinical psychology will be contain more boring and mostly pointless content delivered at a faster pace, as in medical school. Not coincidentally, I find myself constantly procrastinating on what should be easy work. Sometimes I think of trying to enter the workforce with my masters degree in chemistry. When I look at the entry level white collar job market, I see myself being lucky getting an insecure, poor paying job doing mind numbing work as a lab technician. I feel so trapped, with a voice in my head saying I have no good options. Any pathway will result in mind numbing tedium, eventual burnout, and surrounded by propagandized/emotionally damaged people incapable of talking about anything but tedious trivia. All this while the economies of the world continue their slow collapse, and the emerging Fourth Reich continues to grow. This is not the mindset that I want to have, but therapy has not been useful in turning me to a more productive direction. I would be ever so appreciative of any thoughts on this situation.