Search the Community

For the longest time, up until, just a few minutes ago, I thought of disassociation as the same as self-erasure. After watching Stefan's video "The deadly superstition of human rights", I now think differently. Stefan talks about dissociation from all the known horrors of the world , like child abuse, that we know are going on, to make ourselves not be disabled by it. I always thought Dissociation and Self-Erasure were the same, but they are not. They are both used to protect us ,but one holds more destructive effects than the other one. I think the main thing for self-erasure is how we are destroyed when we use it. Dissociation is used to protect us ,but does not have the destructive effects of self-erasure. I think it's ok and a good thing to dissociate to a certain point to survive. I before used to completely reject it, because i thought it was a form of self-erasure and it was harmful to me. I now will use it more actively in my life. Do you guys have any thoughts on this? Any Criticisms ?

What do you guys define as self-erasure? Why do you think people self erase? I think of self erasure as doing thing that makes the self seem smaller. Like playing video games, sitting in a way that makes yourself smaller, watching T.V, porn, overeating, or eating really unhealthy food,etc. I think certain things you can do that can be the opposite like self expanding, like sitting more openly, or writing a story, interacting with people who are like us and not like the zombies, etc. I have found doing the things i thought were to be self erasing, makes me feel small, weak, like i don;t matter, i feel insecure and closed off. I have noticed doing the things that i thought were self expanding made me feel more confident, it made me feel more stable, and happy and more out going, it built upon its self. I think people self erase because it's a very valuable survival tool. Many people including myself childhoods revolved around us self- erasing ourselves to benefit those around us who had power and have used it violently against us. It protects us from abusers. I am still am in an abusive relationship with my mother, and i have noticed after i start to self expand, I become neurotic, constantly thinking about how i can self erase. I think because i still am in that dangerous situation and not by not self erasing i still am attacked. I also discovered that emotionally i am still a little boy, I'm little Dan on a emotional level, and intellectually i am older ,but the emotional part of me is more primal and dominant. I thought of Writing letters to little Dan and help him feel safe ,so i can self expand, but i was wrong in that. I cannot protect him in this environment. I want to make this statement that i think is true. You cannot stop self-erasing with abusive people around you, be it family or friends, you cannot fully expand yourself to your greatest capacity while there are people around you to tear you down in any way even small ones.