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The title is the brief of it. I have 3 uncles and one aunt on my mother's side. All were horribly abused by my grandmother who beat the shit out of them on a regular basis though my most successful uncle is the youngest and the least physically abused from what I have been told by my mother. He was also "the baby" of the 5 and thus given the most attention and care by his elder siblings. My grandfather worked all day and spent little time with his kids, though I've heard he once angrily denounced my grandmother when he caught her verbally abusing my adult mother before I was born. Interesting fact: I nearly died while my mother was pregnant because my grandmother verbally abused my mother to the point where well... Apparently extreme depression can kill the unborn. But that's a tangent and a backstory. The main issue is in the title: my most successful uncle, the only one to have his own children (my eldest uncle married a single mom who was divorced twice, and though he's financially successful as a real estate broker he's very personally unsuccessful as his step kids are all either drug addicts or impending single moms. My middle uncle is almost retarded and lives like a frat boy at the age of 40). He has two sons (twins) and now a daughter. Similarly young. He's 35-ish with a wife 5 years younger than him. My mother is a (platonic) single mom and my aunt is married to a roofer (herself being involved in law, apparently a typist of some sort) and has only one child, a boy, whom is 5 years younger than me and I grew up with on and off. Here's the issue: I want to separate as much as possible from my mother's family of origin because most of them are shitty, manipulative, Democrat, cucky, verbally manipulative, and all around terrible people. My successful uncle is the best of the bunch and I've rarely seen him growing up. I don't think he's a bad guy but I barely know him and am afraid to know him because I expect a whole lot of poison to emit from him or his environs and what can I possibly due to remedy that when I'm still as of yet nobody worth listening to (at least from a life-success standpoint)? Because I want to totally divorce myself from my mother's family of origin, I also want to distance myself from my cousins. Of which I'm the eldest (if I only include biological cousins and not single mom spawns). I don't feel much in terms of obligation but I do feel a certain primal desire for connection with my blood. However I am pretty sure I will be disappointed and I am too young and too busy to willingly kick myself in the shin. I don't want to build connections with people I will barely see and most likely watch self-destruct over time. However my mother, who switches from "wanting to be a part of her (abusive) family" to basically de-F.O.O.'ed has been bothering me about it and projecting her own insecurities and fears onto me about them. Like her fear of deep connection for having it severed, specifically. I am tempted to think I share that weakness but empirically I don't. I have a great relationship with my therapist who is almost a father to me and he really does see me as a middle son (he himself has two sons with a wide age difference). However I do know that's my only real relationship. I'm not counting casual internet relationships because most of them are superficial and the ones I have gotten deep with I don't necessarily trust or see as reliable friends or whatnot. I have made no efforts whatsoever to change this since I've been in what one M.R.A. site calls "monk mode" which is basically about focusing on self-development, career, and advancement that way with relationships and most luxury activities put on hold. I know there is some truth though: I do fear making and losing deep connections. However not very much. But I also lack much motivation to make friends (let alone womanly connections--I'm turning 20 next week and I'm still a virgin and have never dated let alone touched a woman). Perhaps I ought to talk in that direction. I dunno. I do know there are more than a few psychological experts and smart laymen here on the board so I thought I'd confess this here. I do want a family. But I want my family. A family built by my own hand with people of my own choosing. I want a tribe. But I want my tribe. A tribe of like-minded rational, moral, and intelligent people. Not one assigned to me or imposed upon me. However I don't think I can just be a total rebel and expect things to work out. If I really want to go this way, I need to think about what I need to do to get what I want. I've thought long and hard about what I'll be doing professionally (as I'm doing it). That part (writer/investor) is clear (for the next 5 years at least). What's foggy is relationships. I don't like using people for utilities but I do understand reciprocal business relationships and am not afraid of making those. I think I'm doing all right as far as my readiness and ability to make co-worker or business-partner relationships, of course I have minimal experience, but here I think my mind is in the right place and am therefore able to do what I must to get what I want. Where I'm worried about is the personal stuff. The friends and lovers stuff. I intend to be all kinds of good Catholic and waiting till marriage for sex, and perhaps that's for the best, but besides that I'm pretty much winging it and that means doing very little outside work/internet/business connections. And I would be foolish to assume they're all divorced from each other. After all, I only have one brain and whatever I feed into it at one point of my life inevitably affects my mindset in other areas. With that knowledge, I ask for help. I want to know if I'm making the right decisions (as far relationships at least) and am on the path to success or if I'm walking off a cliff with a blindfold on. I have only my thanks to give. Please help.

Stefan has a brilliant video on mental illness, titled "There Is No Such Thing as Mental Illness" I am curious on the subject of mental fatigue or burnout. I have looked at the research and it seems many experience it, however, to my knowledge, there is no scientific test that can prove it. Is there a common chain holding people who claim mental fatigue? Is it just an excuse or is there more to it? Any thoughts and experiences on this subject are appreciated And if anyone wonders why I am asking, I notice a rise in the market for "smart drugs" that claim to help mental fatigue. I also have a few friends that claim to experience it and they ask me how I am able to not experience it. I currently do not believe in mental fatigue or burnout, but, of course I am opened to change my stance on it. And one last thing that intrigue me are the studies that claim self discipline is more important for success than IQ. And its supposed that mental fatigue or burnouts depletes your self discipline skills. Thank you

In light of Donald Trump's rise in popularity (which I support) I've noticed a lot of my politically plugged in friends on the libertarian end of things are vehemently against him for some bizarre reasons and attack him more harshly even than Hillary. I've found previously very rational people to lose their collective minds over the Trump issue and seem to almost take it personally if you question there assertions (many of which are based on the false rumours Stef dealt with). I guess my question is, from a psychological viewpoint, is this pull-back from Trump right on the cusp of his victory a sort of panic induced by actually succeeding at advancing a non-mainstream candidate and being on the verge of a non-politician, successful, intelligent guy winning a popular election without having to sell his soul to the machine? Personally I think yes. There is a weird perfectionism in Libertarianism that makes it impossible to support anyone in concrete terms (only abstractly).

Old wisdom backed by new research: http://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness

Hello, I'm writing this because I'm at a time in my life when some important decisions have to be made and making them without this community's input seems imprudent. Like most people, I have had many hobbies which I was passionate about yet one of them evolved from being something I wanted to do to something I needed to do. Drawing (or illustration) is my passion and it is that by which I quantify time. Time spent drawing is time well spent. Time spent doing anything else is time not spent drawing. It's always at the back of my head. Currently I work as a surgery intern, or a surgeon in training to be more clear. The job is not that bad and it promises a great future but it's very time consuming, and a future in which I'm spending less and less time drawing doesn't sound that great of a deal to me. People basically work really hard, for a really long time in order to enjoy lavish long vacations. I myself spend my vacation time catching up with all the drawing I didn't do because I was working for so long. I'm not putting this forth as a complaint, I'm just pointing out I would rather draw than go on a vacation. It's my first job (first statist-esque job that is) and I'm only 8 months into it. I got it in my head that after one year I should spend the next one solely focusing on turning my hobby into a job. Does this seem wise? Please keep in mind that this is not a money issue, you will laugh out loud at how little I make as an intern thus my reluctance to give up my current job does not stem from that. A lot of success stories are of people of working in some job they don't particularly care about to sustain themselves and after a long painful haul they finally turn their passion in a career. So I've been thinking, doing things you don't want to do is just training yourself into doing those particular things you won't want to do in your "dream job" but which are essential for success. Basically, is the job the catalyst that might help you succeed in your passion, or is it the thing that's holding you back? Do you go to work thinking you would much rather do anything else? Is this the "normal" mindset of having a job? If it's not, how did you achieve the opposite mindset? How did you manage to get a job in which the reward is the job itself? Another thing I'm thinking about is that maybe I'll be much happier working as a doctor. It's a concept that puts a smile on my face, but if that's true I might not be able to succeed as one because my current passion is what's holding me back. If I had the same drive in my current job that I have in drawing I would easily be on top. Maybe I'm not working in the field I should be working in, or maybe I'm just confusing the temptation of doing whatever I want with the drive to succeed. Maybe success is just willpower with rare sprouts of motivation. I really want other people's input on this.

When I went to counselling, my counsellor suggested I consider college. I think I would really enjoy studying for a computer science degree, but I'm starting to get more and more worried lately. I am worried that I may not be able to pay back my debts, and that I will regret ever going to college. I cannot be sure whether that would happen or not, and I'd like to think I can make it work. I really enjoy programming and working with computers, so I have a lot of options to do after college for sure. Even if I can't become a programmer immediately, I can do networking, computer maintenance, or other jobs like that. I think the job I'd probably enjoy the most would have to be Linux system administration. In addition to jobs after college, I will also be working during the summers, and while I'm in college most likely. That is the plan at least. Are my worries legitimate, or am I worrying too much? I have been known to do that a lot in the past.

http://realtimelifecoaching.com is looking for collaborators. If you are interested in becoming a life-coach please message me for more information.

I would like to share a few videos that motivate and inspire me. Please share some of yours.Be Obsessed with Improvementhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJAkLB1moGUHunger (MOTIVATION)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNC26Rh4AE4Write Your Own Scripthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EUzZsRWqggRay Lewishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbIWvNZBlHMPlaylisthttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUHovnYY1WJXfR6RjT9ut48wIQ4eswEcC

Just thought this answer to this question was interesting. Doesn't the author know that poverty is supposed to trap them, not spur them on to success? http://qr.ae/hWnih