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There's that... both (?) angles. nd that...

Hi everyone. It took me a long time to realize that I was wronged as a child. PROPAGANDA: I used to think my dad was virtuous, considerate, and had my best interests at heart... he was always right. I thought my mom was sweet and shy. TRUTH: I grew up with an emotionally abusive/manipulative, dictatorial father and a passive, guilt-ridden mother. It took me a long time to realize the truth. Forever, I thought "my childhood wasn't that bad, and when it was it was my own fault." I would reject myself and side with my parents. What really helped me break this POV was empathizing and sympathizing with myself. So, I thought it would be helpful to share tips for starting to empathize with ourselves when we are carrying around toxic shame from our childhoods and are prone to self-attack and self-rejection. If you have a tip, feel free to share it! Since I couldn't just say "wow, I had it rough and it wasn't my fault," I began to think of my child self as a seperate person. First I paint the picture--I was a skinny little girl with coke-bottle glasses which I had since the age of 2. I was very timid and incredibly anxious. I was afraid of adults and would avoid speaking to them. Ok, once I get an accurate image of my child self, I kind of seperate this little girl from myself. Then I replay a memory with her in place of me. Here's one: I imagine my dad after a fishing trip grabbing this little girl by the arm to hold her in place while he spanks her for wetting her pants at the age of 4 (because she was too shy to go to the portapotty alone, too scared to tell her dad she had to go, and her sister wouldn't go with her). My dad made this girl geniunely believe that she ruined his fishing trip. Then I reconnect and realize it was me who went through this and I was wronged. What about you all, how do you enable yourself to feel empathy for yourself and fight through the propaganda of having a "decent" childhood with "good" parents?