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Showing results for tags 'time outs'.
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I really appreciate Dr.Holden's studies on spanking, yelling, ect. I was a little shocked when he said that timeout's are effective for young preschoolers (in podcast #2719). I have to disagree with that. It teaches the child to repress their feelings and learn to deal with anxious thoughts in an unhealthy manner. Young preschooler's do not have the capacity to "think about what they have done" in a rational way, in fact I think it's quite neglectful. Did anyone catch that or have any thoughts on it? In an article from "The Natural Child Project" by Dr. Peter Haiman states: "For the frustrated and uncomfortable child, time-out offers enforced silence and the feeling of being rejected by one's parents. A youngster who misbehaves and then is given time-out feels hurt. This hurt, combined with the frustration that caused the youngster to misbehave, gives birth to anger. And discipline practices like time-out, which create hurt and anger, can harm a child. A serious cost of being given time-out in childhood is the lesson that one should bottle up uncomfortable emotions. Upset in time-out and unable to express distressing feelings, youngsters desperately need to stop the painful feelings going on inside them. To cope, children learn to ignore and/or distract themselves from the energy of their hurt and angry feelings. Thus, children learn to repress their painful feelings. In the process, nervous habits emerge such as thumb sticking, fingernail biting, hair pulling, skin scratching, tugging at clothes, self-pinching, and many other similar behaviors. The purpose of these behaviors is to ward off uncomfortable feelings and, in identification with their parents' criticism of them, to punish themselves. These defense strategies serve to release anger and ignore uncomfortable feelings. As a result, being unaware of true feelings can often become a characteristic feature of a person's life. This reduces a person's self-awareness and can affect the quality of life throughout an entire lifetime." Here is the article.http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/peter_haiman.html Thanks!