Search the Community

I am a mom of a boy who turns 3 in a couple of months and his tantrums are getting hard to deal with. I am putting a lot of work into coping with them by breathing and trying to remain calm (and not flipping my lid as well) but it's wearing me out. Today I went to meet a friend for lunch and as a compromise we got take-out and went to a park because my son will not sit still at a restaurant for more than 10 minutes. When we got to the park he did not want to get out of the car, and cried, and rebuckled his carseat, and kept saying "Sit down! Sit down! Go home!", and turned red, and.... it was awful. I wanted to do what he was asking and cancel our lunch but my friend (who is 68 and never had kids) said "If you cave he's just going to keep throwing fits to control you." So, I took him out of the car and walked to a picnic table where he kept trying to leave us and walk back to the car. I would go get him and calmly bring him back to the table and tell him "No, we can leave after we finish eating." He kept crying, throwing a fit, hitting me, hitting himself... My friend and I didn't even have a conversation, but I forced him to stay with us while we ate our food. I feel like such a bad person for forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do but a bad parent (in other people's eyes) for giving in to tantrums. It is so hard for me to make it through a 20-30 minute tantrum without having my anxiety go through the roof. Is it really so bad to give in?