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Hi all, My brother is 27 with 4 children. He is currently living under the same roof as his children and partner (mother of his children). He has no time for his kids and acts like they are good for nothing burdens in his life. He is very selfish, does not like parting with his money to help support/raise his children. He does nothing to help his partner around the house or to raise his children. He is verbally, emotionally and physical abusive. He calls them pricks and cu#ts to their faces. He seems particularly hateful of his eldest boy who has just turned 7. He did not even say happy birthday when he was opening his presents in the morning. I'm not even sure if he wished him happy birthday at all. (My mum has told me that my father used to do the very same thing with my brother.) This same boy, my nephew recently told his Nan that he hates his dad. You can see the effect this has on this little boy. I believe somehow this is all some kind of history repeating itself as my dad was also a shitty father to his sons. He would favour one over the other. He was also abusive. It's a vicious circle. When I have tried to talk to my brother about this he loses his temper and leaves so that the conversation cannot continue. I tried to arrange for him to go and seek some guidance/counselling to which he never went. I asked him about this recently and he said he didn't go because he hasn't had time. He does not have full-time work at the moment so I know this is just and excuse. I'm at the point where I've asked his partner if there is ANY benefit to the kids with him being around. She said that she agonises over this question constantly. Is there anything at all that I can say to her that might help. I think he is beyond help.

Sticks and stones, with sufficient strain, can leave bones bruised and broken. But words can even harm the brain, no matter how softly spoken. Yet, even in a body cast and rendered completely still stones can only break your skeleton, while words can break your will.

Hi Everyone I'm looking to connect with women and men who are in an abusive relationship and would like to get out, or like me- left an abusive relationship and would like some support to stay out. I'm referring to romantic relationships, but we could talk about other relationships too. The idea of helping others get out of bad relationships is exciting to me. I want to give back to this community as it has helped me in regaining my individuality and reason, and oh yeah.. finally drop the person who was physically/verbally abusing me! Stefan, and all the people who have called in about this issue! The more things in common we have, the easier it may be to relate, but I'm happy to type or talk with people that are of all variations. A few things about me: female, 29 grew up in a good family that is financially secure parents did not physically abuse each other father did mildly verbally abuse mother and children (more so with mother) was spanked a few times when really little but nothing extreme Feel free to respond here or privately

Hi all, I really wanted to share some details of this event that took place earlier today. I'm feeling really proud about this and had to share it. I had just parked at my workplace and was walking through the car-park when I witnessed a man verbally abusing his children. His two sons were backed against the large 4-wheel-drive with the shopping trolley between them and a man who was probably their father. He was very tall and the children were very small, the older of them maybe 6 or 7 and he was probably over 6 foot. He was bent at the waist which invoked in me the image of a cave wall towering over the children. They were looking downward and holding their hands behind their backs looking quite afraid. I walked past them but about 20 meters away until they were obscured by a corner but after a few steps I turned back and walked toward them. I stood some distance and shouted out "excuse me". The man seemed to shrink in stature. He said timidly "huh?". He obviously knew what this was about and his demeanour betrayed an "I-I-I didn't do nuthin'." I continued with "I'm a fully grown man about 20 meters away from you and you're terrifying me." Pointing at my chest while my weight was on my front foot. Then pointing at the children but looking at him I said "I can't imagine what you're doing to those children." He didn't say anything but rather looked back down at his shopping, not at me and not at the children. He clearly knew he was doing something wrong. I hope the children were helped by this in some way, maybe they'll better understand that it is their father who is the wrong-doer and not they. I walked away with wobbly legs but feeling taller, and thinking to myself this is what life is about. I feel empowered and more confident than ever that I will not accept abuse inflicted upon myself or other innocents ever again. Thanks for reading.

I remember being less than five years old and being spanked and thinking how could it be possible that my mother that claims to love me so much is causing me pain. I remember when I around six my father grabbing me from my leg lifting me up effectively putting me upside down and dropping me for some reason I can not remember. I remember my father telling the maid to put a bunch of my toys in trash bags and to get them in the bin. I remember my father telling me how if I ever got kidnapped he wouldn't pay the ransom (we weren't by any means anywhere close to poor, not that it matters.) I remember all throughout my childhood threats by both parents to be hit with a belt. I remember all throughout primary school my mother would sit me down and watch me do homework. If I didn't understand something or after any minor spelling or otherwise trivial mistake she would lose it and start screaming incredibly loud at me and hitting the table. This happened every week day. I would cry every time. I remember being desperate to please my mother and being filled with anxiety every time she looked not in a good mood. I remember always trying to show what I thought was affection and just being hopelessly desperate to make her happy, for my (misguided) efforts to be met with indifference. I remember overhearing once when I was around twelve my father saying to my mother that she would get pancreatic cancer because she was so angry. I repeated this to her out of resentment (she would always use this kind of remarks against me) and the next day my father picked me up after school and in front of everyone told me that the only thing certain in my future was shit and screamed at me that he hated me a few times and threw his glasses at me so hard that they broke. I remember pressing the rubber buttons of a new house phone we got (disconnected) and my father told me to not do that. I asked why and he told me it would stop working. I told him I didn't think so and he smacked me in the back of the head so hard I became dizzy. I remember my dad making me kneel in front of my mother and kiss her feet and tell her that she was a goddess and that I loved her for some random comment I made. I remember being in a mall when I was around ten and looking for Velcro sneakers but there weren't any in my size. I remember my father telling me it was because all the children my age knew how to tie their laces. I asked how was I supposed to know if he didn't teach me and he called me an idiot. I remember being in the kitchen table with my mom when I was around sixteen and breaking down crying because I was stressed about high school and my girlfriend and she started hitting on the table and telling me she was going to go for a belt to smack me. This one stings a lot for some reason. I remember being seventeen and my mother telling me that she didn't want me to go out for the next few days because she was going to go to some new age seminar. I told her that I had a few plans and she grabbed my Complete Works of Oscar Wilde book and threw it on the ground and screamed that I made her life impossible. I remember being seventeen and my mother threatening to go for the gun if I didn't open the door to my room. I'm nineteen at the moment. As you may have gathered my mother was very overbearing and wouldn't let me do a lot by myself, which still has vague consequences to this day regarding getting things done but I'm working on those, and I'm happy to say I overcame the most severe ones. I only speak to her twice a week tops on the phone (we live far away) and my father is dead. When I get more money I'll move to somewhere she doesn't know and change my phone. So I'm safe and can only see my life getting better if I put work in. I realize this post is a little bit messy but I just felt like I had to let it all out, maybe now I'll have happy thoughts when trying to sleep.

Hey everyone,*Sorry about the messed up title.I wasn't sure where to post this but here the situation. My boyfriend and I have been getting into arguments over the last couple of months. Whenever we get on topic we disagree on, I try to get him to define certain concepts that he is using in context of our dialogue, such if we were debating free-will I would want him to define free-will. Then I try to give my definition for such terms. He''l then to go on to saying i'm argument semantics when I'm just trying to clarify what we're talking about. If the dialogue regressed from there he goes on to attack my intelligence or my personal ethic, in which he proceeds to go things like "where's your facts" or saying, "you're just wrong." and then stonewalls refusing to continue at all. I have met several people like this and find it very hard to deal with them. Do any of you have suggestions?