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Posted

 http://www.indiegogo.com/MKApproach/x/2024712?c=home

I started an IndieGoGO campaign to fundraise money for me to travel to peru. It has to do with the way things are going and looking for answers, as well as an opportunity to get my life on track. Theres a second video about why i call myself a philospher and writer. I'd appreciate that if whoever has the time would check it out and give feedback or comments, and yes if you feel like donating it would be greatly appreciated.

I'm also not sure if it's appropriate for me to put this in the philosophy section, but the campaign is about looking for answers and looking outside the box for them considering the scale of whats going and what we have ahead of us. It's good to have people branching out in all direction, this one is mine.

Posted

The thing is i'm stuck in some behavior of support and i need to break out of it but it's all that i can think in. Looking at it is likely frustrating or annoying and i apologise for that, but i promise that as far as approaching it i'm sincere. Every now and then snap out of it briefly but the things occuring overwhelm me and i havent known how to get the upper hand, trying to see myself for what i am isn't clear enough and tends to do more damage. Any advice you guys might have in whichever form or angle i would be thankful for to try and make this work.

Posted

I don't know if anyone has ever just plainly mentioned this to you, and I don't mean this in a cruel way at all, just purely as an observation. But, my friend, you suffer from some fairly serious disorganization of thoughts.

 

I mean, here you are making a post that is really quite difficult to follow in its logic. You open by providing a link and explaining that you're asking for money to travel somewhere; simple enough, I guess. Then you start to get into reasons: "has to do with the way things are going", I simply have no idea what you're talking about or what could even be implied by that. The way things are going in your daily life? In your country/region? The world? The way things are going this week? This century? No context and no explanation given, I simply have no idea what you mean, and just as quickly as you bring it up, you move on.

 

You open the video in kind of a creepy way; you just seemed vaguely upset at nothing in particular and began by talking about something that the audience has no idea of, so it was mostly just confusing and frustrating to watch, rather than informative and persuasive. Rather than being charming which is what you should be aiming for, considering that you're hoping to raise money basically for giving people nothing in exchange, you just seem creepy and angry. You look like your heart is racing really hard, you're probably a bit sweaty, your voice is shaking a bit, and you aren't even looking at the camera. To be quite honest, if I saw you on the street acting in that way, I would probably cross to the opposite sidewalk just to be cautious of a possible crazy person.

From the way you've presented yourself to the world, I'm honeslty not at all surprised that you have zero dollars contributed to your funding and seem to be getting no attention at all. Did you sincerely really expect that people who watched your video would feel persuaded afterwards to help your cause, or did you experience doubts about making the effort to ask for money at all?

Posted

 no nobody has, "But, my friend, you suffer from some fairly serious disorganization of thoughts." that sums it up. I'm going through something and i can't put my finger on it, and don't know what to say, feel or think. I try but i just get anxiety. I don't really know what to say besides that. "or did you experience doubts about making the effort to ask for money at all?" yes constantly. Don't know how to shake it long enough to get this, or anything to work.

Feel like i'm lacking a self or something, nothing connects.

Posted

 

Are you trying to make me cry?

If you are looking for answers, post your questions.

 

 sorry i didn't see your post.

i'm not sure how to word it, but it revolves around how odd existance is and what mans come to make out of it. It's like were effectively in a fish bowl peering out into an ocean yet somehow consider ourselves seperate from it. Every damn part of ourselves is linked to the world around us besides our understanding which looks like something that only has a base because we grew up in it and solely operate in it. The gist of what man has come to make seems inherently awry.

So i'm looking for something yes. I grew up in this system to and i'm trying to shake what i've come to understand and how i've come to operate for something else more open to things and i'm looking for that, there has to be something else. I don't know how to word it charismatically though lmao.. :\ , no crack intended. i'm a bit raw

Posted

 I'm going to remake the front page video though. Trying to get this to work i've had to switch into a gear outside of how i've long been used to operating, there is a lot of anxiety and it's grueling. Is slow but i've been making incremental improvements.

Posted

 Thats a great question and one i don't really know that i could give justice. It is possible it do it alone but i'm not sure what to think of that. As far as i can tell it's more beneficial to go to someone who has been working with it and knows how to work with it to better help you. It's purpose is healing and it's good to be in an environment conducive to that to better understand it. I'm not sure who said this "You cant fix a problem with the same knowledge which created it" but i think that applies to environment as well. It's good to look outside of it for solutions or else your going to repeat it in some form or another.

Plus where i'm at isn't really the best place to be doing it. I'm not sure if it's something you should do just anywhere. :\

Posted

 ok i really need help, life just feels too excruciating. I really don't know how to process the agony and i can't find any damn solution. Life starts to feel too intangible and i feel like there is no escape. It feels pointless to say, that i'm cryign wolf in some sense, but it always seems fking pointless to call it out.

Posted

In my first post I asked if you were trying to make me cry. I did cry on Saturday after watching your second video. I knew you were in a lot of pain and it overwhelmed me. I do not see any way to help you over a few forum posts. But when you say that you cannot find any solution, I think you may be right. Try to post your questions here and I will see if I can think of a solution. A solution that does not include a chemical that could further distort your thoughts.

Posted

 I appreciate your thoughts and i thank you. Theres not too many questions i have where the answers don't seem to be self evident, but thats what i'm curious about. Language and understanding tend to develope around people in certain environments to serve the people of those environments, but we have come to create our own world and way around us, so we are only exposed to our own world so to speak when life is more diverse and more vast then ultimately what we have come to create and reflect. I was watching a talk with neil degrasse tyson and richard dawkins where neil said something that was peculiar and i think applies to language. But ya I'm not sure if i approached or look at things "correctly" and thats what i'm trying to sort out. We all grow up in this system and who knows how deep and on what level it's rooted.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGenk99YDwY&list=FL3kxEOOJBtvVRxi-LeLR5IQ&index=5 The thing neil said, starts at 54:35

Posted

I do not see how what Neil said has anything to do with language. He was asked a question about wether or not cell phones cause cancer. He was trying to say that believing they do cause cancer is irrational. There is a good study of pigion behavior that shows the same irrational thought process. http://youtu.be/9xrWqsLHd2M

Let me know if this helps.

Posted

 Well whats more real the language we use about a thing or the thing itself? Which one best represents the thing lol. Depends on how you look at language i guess. To me it looks 3rd  party to whats discussed

Posted

Have you considered calling into the Sunday show? I really feel like I am having no success reaching you with these posts. Stefan has been able to help a lot of people and I think he would have more success than I am having.

Posted

 Ya thats a common thing, i don't know what to think about it.I have wanted to go on the call in show but the time it's on is when people are up here and i don't feel i can talk freely. They're offensive and ignorant and i could see them chiming in..

Posted

If you want to talk to him, one thing you can do is think of what times during the week you know you will be able to talk freely. Then send Stefan an email with those times and what you want to talk about and see if he will set aside a time to talk with you.

Posted

 Man i seriously feel like i would just drain the guy. He has to deal with enough people who are more or less crazy, and my position is pretty set and negative. Idk if i'd want to put that on him i'm sure he has enough to deal with. By saying this i know i'm saying that i'm basically settling with what i'ver been dealing with, but then there are many situations where peoope need help and they don'tg et it. Whats another pme? LOl, ugh fuck it all 

Posted

was drinking

You know why i don't want to talk to him, because for some reason people avoid me. Everyone. Constantly. I don't know why, it's how it is and always has been. I do something that puts people off and i can't catch what it is, but i take the hint, and why would i put him through something that few others want to deal with either?

Posted

 

You know why i don't want to talk to him, because for some reason people avoid me. Everyone. Constantly.

Are you including me in that statement? Am I avoiding you?

You say you do not want to talk to him. But I think you are ambivalent. Stefan is a grown man and can decide for himself if he wants to talk to you.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

 ok i would apologise but i don't know how to do that when i've already deliberately avoided the thread like a prick, but yes i think i will give it a shot. I'll have to find his email and hopefully i'm not too much of a bastard should he decide to give me a chance..

Posted

 

Are you including me in that statement? Am I avoiding you?

It would be fair for me to acknowledge this but honestly i don't know how to, or know how to tell that it's sincere or something. So many times do people say one thing and do something else and at some level i feel like your lying, but i know i have no basis to know whether you are or not. I could evidence it with the fact that you have been replying, and then the fact that you even called it out being direct, but i really don't know what to think man

You say you do not want to talk to him. But I think you are ambivalent. Stefan is a grown man and can decide for himself if he wants to talk to you.

 

very much so am i being that, and yes he is a grown man and can decide that for himself thats a good point.

 

Honestly the past while i feel like i'm turning psychotic. it feels like my center has become overwhelmingly dense or compacted that i just can't take anymore and that some is starting to bleed out. i have either that or shutting down. i don't know why i'm limited to these 2 things.

Posted

 

 ok i would apologise but i don't know how to do that when i've already deliberately avoided the thread like a ***, but yes i think i will give it a shot. I'll have to find his email and hopefully i'm not too much of a bastard should he decide to give me a chance..

 

I thought that your main problems are confusion and loneliness. But this self-attacking needs to stop. I see no way you can be happy when you are treating yourself this way. It is possible that avoiding the thread for a while was what you needed to do. I would not in a hundred years think that you were being an ***. You have shown me that you really do not want to mistreat Stefan and I am not worried that you would be a bastard when talking to him. Be ready to talk about where this self-attacking comes from.

Posted

 

man i don't know what to reply to this. The first time i read it it did shock or get to me to some extent, was a curve ball, but then i read it again, then again. Now i don't know. I do say thought that i appreciate your compassion and reasoning.

Posted

 

 

man i don't know what to reply to this. The first time i read it it did shock or get to me to some extent, was a curve ball, but then i read it again, then again. Now i don't know. I do say thought that i appreciate your compassion and reasoning.

 

One of the main benefits of having a community like the one here on FDR is that others can see our problems better than we can see them ourselves. You avoiding the thread for a while did not bother me. But there is one thing that is bothering me. I think that an "earnest ... search for answer" would involve asking more questions. You said "Now I don't know." What do you not know?

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