Microwave Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Hello, This is my first post on here, so I'll do a quick introduction and then ask my question. I'm a 23 year old anarchist and atheist, I have a 5 1/2 month old daughter, and I've been listening to Stefan's podcasts for several months now. I've heard Stef talk about what a great community this is, so I wanted to get involved on the forums to see what it's all about. I want to get your opinions on how to deal with Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy, etc. Obviously they're not real, but it is normal where I live to tell your kid that these things are in fact real. It's just a game for them, and unlike religion, it isn't harmful. I'm just very conflicted because I never want to lie to my daughter, but also I don't want her to be the outcast (she has eight cousins, most of whom will still think Santa is real). The best solution I can come up with is saying something like "I've never seen this Santa guy, but a lot of people seem to think he exists," that way I'd remain neutral and still be honest, and she can play along with Santa if she chooses to. This is one of those things I've never really heard intelligent people discuss. I look forward to reading your responses!
masonman Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Personally I think it IS harmful because it sets them up to believe than spirits and wizards and all that do exist. I guess why would you give her a conclusion instead of doing some socratic questioning and having her make her own conclusions?
Microwave Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Yeah I totally agree that it sets them up to believe in mythical things; that has definitely crossed my mind many times while contemplating how to handle this. I didn't go into much detail about my particular situation, but maybe I should have given more context so it's apparent why this is such a conundrum for me. So like I said, my daughter has eight cousins, most still believe in Santa, but some are old enough now and have it figured out. My parents have a tradition of hiring a guy to come play Santa every Christmas Eve, and it's very fun for the children. Now, I'm the only atheist in a large christian family, and I very much value the truth. I want my daughter to also seek and value truth, to question everything and to think for herself. Also, I grew up believing that santa, the tooth fairy, god, etc. were all real. It was very fun when "santa" would come and give us gifts. Looking back, I don't think believing that stuff as a kid has impacted me in a negative way. However, as I write this I am realizing that I don't want to tell her santa is real, the only reason this is an issue for me is because the rest of my immediate family does tell their kids santa is real. I wonder if it's possible to tell her the truth, but for her to not spoil the game for her cousins.
Freedomain Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Hey Microwave, Stef talks about the Santa question here: [View:http://youtu.be/9_L71pZ9iss]
Microwave Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 Hey MMD, Thanks for the link. I really liked Stef's response to the question. After discussing this topic with friends who have kids, they all have actually said that they think it's kind of stressful lying to their kids about Santa. Also that the kids feel bad after asking their parents if Santa is real, because they can think they're ruining the game for their parents. I've decided that when my daughter is old enough to understand English, I'll basically teach her about Santa like Stef said in the video. Santa is just a game people play, and if she sees a Santa mascot, that it's actually just a guy in a suit; I'll also prepare her for the children that think Santa is real. Thanks for your responses everyone, and feel free to continue the discussion on Santa going if you'd like.
Jax Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Don't do it. I see no problem in talking about Santa like other fictional characters (Elmo comes to mind), but I always go out of my way to make sure I don't suggest that Santa Claus is real. Because, you know, he's not. He's imaginary.
MrCapitalism Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 My parents never told me that Santa Claus was real. They told me what they thought was the truth ("it's a story that gives us an excuse to give you presents, and Christmas was a time for the extended family to spend time together").I can't speak towards the experiences of others, but It didn't bother me at all. I think I remember telling a kid at school about it, but they freaked, I didn't bring up the topic anymore if I recall... We still celebrate Christmas, and I still give and recieve gifts from "Santa."
tasmlab Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I was fully intending on telling my three pups that Santa was 'game' we played and that he wasn't real. We did end up with the Santa hoax and in the end have had a lot of fun with it. It only lasts for about 4 years (age 3-4 it comes in and by 7-8 they are suspect), and then they delight in finding out that it isn't real. I think the big difference with Santa vs. God is that everybody has a great time with discovering the hoax and the parents and all of society cooberate that it was a trick in the name of fun. The god lie, though, is supported violently by just about everyone, it's condemned to be proven false, is based on threats, supported by parents, etc. In the end I guess I would lean to telling the truth if you can but not fret too much if Santa is real for a little bit. I'm hoping to make it up to my kids by dispelling the myths of religion, school and state.
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