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Here is a scenario I haven't heard you deal with. The hostage scenario of divorced fathers...


Rick Horton

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If this intrigues you, I have a story I'd like to share about myself. I'm a divorced father who has been run through the mill. I don't have a solution, but my ex wife will NOT let my children communicate with me or me with them. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'd be willing to be on the show, too, if you are interested. I don't know how to proceed because I'd have to use the force of courts to resolve this. She is immovable! and they are my children, too. I believe the children are going to suffer SO greatly because she is doing this to them.

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I'm by no means an expert on these issues, but I imagine any good advice relies greatly on the details of your situation. How long has this been going on? What State are you in? What does the law say? Do you have joint custody? How many kids, how old are they, etc...

Do you have any clue or idea why their mother doesn't want you around the kids? etc... there are countless factors involved.

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At the heart of it, it is because I am behind in child support. I pay what I can, and my work checks get garnished, but I'm putting together a child support modification petition to lower the amount I owe every month because what gets garnished doesn't fulfill the current court ordered obligation. So, I am 20,000.00 in debt. My oblgation is 1300 a month, but I only make about 900.00 in total a month. I'd make more, but due to the arrearages, my ex had the court suspend my drivers license. I have to bike ride to my "near minimum wage" job at a BBQ restaurant instead of working in my proffesional trade of pool maintanence. You have to have a drivers license to do that. So, she had my license removed, and therefore gets less money per month than she did before, and I lost my ability to work in my profession. EVEN when I worked at my profession, I couldn't swing 1300 dollars a month, and therefore my arrearages built up and she took my license. A was consistently (before I had to change jobs) paying around 800.00 a month, or so, but she wanted more. So, now that she is getting only about 200.00 to 300.00 a month, she is just angry. 

Look, though. As far as my behavior in the marriage, there wasn't any domestic violence, physical, or mental abuse to her or the children. The children had SUCH a positive bond with me, and they always feel free to talk to me about anything and everything without me being abusive. I never talk bad about their mother, but she is doing a really awful thing by alienating the children from me and me from them. They must have so much inner conflict. They must think I abandoned them. They must hear their mother belittling me, and that must make them feel less human too, since they are "of" me. They must be harboring so much sadness, and hatred, fear, and aggression. I mean, where did Daddy go? Why doesn't he love us?  She won't even let a call, or letters reach the children. So what should I do? 

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