I have been feeling weird about my social life lately. I need some help with self knowledge.

[RFan]

I have been thinking about the fact that I have no female friends. In fact, I have few male friends too. I am in grade 12 and guy. I have 8 close friends, all male. 3 of them go to a different school. So that leaves 5 friends (if i did my math correctly) that are at my school. The thing is all but two are from my elementary school. I have only made 2 or 3 friends since highschool started. This doesn't mean there is something wrong with me. And in the past I have not wanted to change anything in myself but I feel like there is room for growth here maybe. 

I do not like to approach people that I am not friends with to start a conversation. I am usually considered quiet by others, if I am not with my friends. I consider myself funny and goofy. I don't think I am very shy either. I don't think it is that I am afraid to start conversations with people outside my circle of friends, I just don't see the point. But I could be wrong there. An important rule that I have is to not try to impress anybody but myself. It helped me when I was insecure with myself. I think that might be a reason why I don't make new friends.

The other part of it is my lack of girlfriends, or even any female friend. I feel like I would like to have a girlfriend. I think it is because if I could have on really intimate relationship, it wouldn't really matter if I liked to make new friends or not. Which thinking about it now, would be a lot of pressure on someone. 

I know I might have made this vague or confusing but if anyone can add some insight here I would really appreciate it

[TheRobin]

 

I know I might have made this vague or confusing but if anyone can add some insight here I would really appreciate it

 

I have found, that in order to gain knowledge (be that self-knowledge or other) it is essential to understand the question first and formulate it in a way that is as detailed and explicit as necessary. Because what can often happen is that one states a question with a lot of either vague or implicit assumptions or premises that are unchecked and that never leads anywhere productive in my experience. About 80%-90% of the time the answer becomes incredibly obvious once you truly understand what it is that you're asking in the first place. (The other times it usually becomes obvious who to ask or where to look for answers because of that). At least that's my experience.

So, to give you some feedback: I don't really understand what you're asking, could you maybe try and make that more clear?

(Maybe I just miss something though, that's of course also a possibility)