MysterionMuffles Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Thanks Mellony! Yeah what an insult to anybodys ability to think for themselves. Its a blatant invitation to be brainwashed. This argument ended long time ago but I remember her accusing philosophy as brainwash. If thats the case then religion was brain clutter.
Three Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 I'm sorry that you had to grow up with your mom, Mcs. I wanted to point out that the scenario you mentioned regarding your friend and his girlfriend is yet another reason to be angry with your mother simply because that situation was so completely and totally preventable. Your mother should have spent time providing you what you needed, which were essential skills such as learning how to form healthy emotional attachments and how to communicate effectively in conflictual settings, to name a few. For the same reasons, we would be outraged at a parent who neglected to show their children how to prevent car accidents by explaining the importance of wearing a seat belt, rules of the road, checking their tires, getting regular check ups ect. However, your mom didn't just neglect or withhold information, she actively taught you and modeled all of the wrong behaviors. So, with the car analogy, it would be more like a parent encouraging their children to drive on the left site of the road(in the united states) and to speed wile under the influence. Break ups, violent fights, and unhealthy relationships should be something people work towards preventing wiith as much concern as car accidents.
MysterionMuffles Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Joel once again, thank you very much for your understanding. I'm sure you know how validating it feels for me to have someone just GET IT like that! I've been thinking about how my mom has influenced my relationships...now it's no wonder to me that I have trouble being assertive with my needs, let alone comfortable with them being there. I've always felt like I would get scorned for having needs, or being seen as weak for expressing them. I'm not sure if I wrote this down already here or in my journal, or if it's just a thought you helped bring out, but yeah...the thing with my friend and his girlfriend could've easily been evaded if my mom just gave me the right advice on a more objective standpoint. Rather than condemning me into this friendzone mentality of "well he's your friend and you should be there for him." Or something to that degree. Basically she made me believe that my route of being there for him more than my self, DESPITE the circumstances, was the right one. Imagine how different that situation would've been if my mom simply told me, "you and this girl seem to like each other, and if your friend doesn't like her back, you should see if you want to be with her instead. Of course ask your friend if it's okay with him, but it sounds like this could be your first girlfriend." Yeah well she wasn't my first girlfriend, rather my first fling spawned from unneccessary conflict. Thanks also for reviving this thread, my original post has some stuff I've yet to explore in my daily journal practice, and with everybody's help here, I'm sure to get a better understanding of it all.
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