MysterionMuffles Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Part of the reason why I'm on the path of self knowledge now is because I've wronged people a many back in my unconscious days. Days where all I could care about was my own selfish gains and so acted out in counterproductive and highly negative interactions. I'm only caring, compassionate, and empathetic NOW because there was a giant lack of those virtues in my past. I still feel guilt to this day for the way I've wronged a few people, and I feel like there's some amount of evil in my being. Am I redeemed through the repetition of positive actions now, or is that a subjective thing within my self? Like an either I forgive my self or I don't?
cherapple Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 The way to self-forgiveness is think about and understand *why* you did wrong, and have compassion for your past self. "Selfishness" is a good thing. It's what finally allows you to care for others. Once you really know how to care for yourself and allow yourself to have preferences, then you are able to allow the same for others. To be selfish in the bad sense means that you don't really believe you deserve to have what you want, and so you think you have to take it at others' expense. I sympathise with your struggle to forgive yourself for past wrongs. It is possible (at least, I'm banking on it) to build a better relationship with yourself, with consistent commitment, and positive act by positive act.
Guest darkskyabove Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 You are far, far from alone. I, too, carry a burden of guilt for the wrongs which I cannot atone. What I have done, somewhat, is to translate this into motivation to be a better human. Living in the past is redundant, living in the future is impossible, living in the now is hard enough. I'll end with the words to a, hopefully, applicable song. One look at my "updated" avatar, and you'll know I'm going to break out in song. Basically, as I think you, and I, already know: there are no easy answers. Who DecidesAnd so we meet again, the dirt on our feet but thenWho knows who really decides?In this spacial oddity, this viral commodityThe astronaut listens to voices that callWon't you follow me down?Breathe, as you suffer with existenceRags and ruin of all that was humanLeeching the force of collective designHeroes and rapists they all have nice facesBut who decides, who defines, who draws the lines?In this wasted miracle, the outcome so terminalWhy do we waste time on hope?In perfect execution, liquid and lucidBorn in the astronaut's eyesOf hate, loathing, wonder, and fearBreathe, as you suffer in denialThe lover and the blind man they sing their songThe pleasured and the pained pray their sins are goneThey can't reach heaven, the truth's brutal lessonForgive yourself, for no one else will die for your crimesBut who decides, who decides? - Nevermore, "Who Decides", from Enemies Of Reality, 2003
Recommended Posts