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Dayna Martin and Family on Wife Swap


Guest NateC

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It's sad that the family in California has such a strict mother.

Yea, that is how wife swap works. They try to find families with vastly opposing philosophies. It makes formore interesting TV when they interact. So the California woman was who they found to be as close to opposite of her as possible.

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For most of the time while I was watching that show my stomach was in knots - I felt so anxious! But the way Dayna treated the kids was so endearing and lovely to see. I hope she achieved her goal of spreading the unschooling message.

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For most of the time while I was watching that show my stomach was in knots - I felt so anxious! But the way Dayna treated the kids was so endearing and lovely to see. I hope she achieved her goal of spreading the unschooling message.

 

 

I 100% agree.  Plus she also spreaded it by being on the Jeff Probst Show too.  I really hope unschooling catches on.

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  • 5 months later...

I really liked that episode, but for most people they wouldn't guage the value of unschooling philosophy and the touchy bondingness that Dayna brought to the other family because ya know...the average viewer is a sociopath :P 

 

I didn't enjoy the idea that Dayna let that crazy woman into the lives of his children. Devon and Tiff I understand, they were old enough to know what was going on, but for the younger kids whose names escape me, that was some serious trauma to experience all for the sake of unschooling getting some media attention. I hope she apologized to them profusely and made up for that since.

 

Other than that, it was very indicative of two great different extremes. What I got out of it was that the Avery family really did need a whole ton of freedom in their househould, but it's just too bad none of Dayna's work there remained after the swap. It was sad to see Naja's artwork get taken off the walls and Rory (was that the son's name?) probably not having his friends over again. It's sad the only good thing the Avery mother (sorry if I get the names wrong lol) took with her was Joe's breakfast smoothie. The only dysfunction, if you could call it that, in the Martin family is the lack of children helping out with the chores. It's alright if Dayna doesn't mind doing all the cleaning, but the smallest improvement they could adapt is having the kids help out with the cleaning. Other than that, I was scared for them with that other mother in their lives. Jeez...

I enjoyed watching that. I love Dana and her philosophy on parenting.  In contrast with the authoritarian mother from the other family, she and her family came across very happy and inspired.  I liked how Dana was always eager to point out how cruel some of the other families rules were.  She's pretty brave, and doesn't hold back at all when it comes to speaking her mind, even when the father was in the room with her.  

 

You can see how the children really appreciated the way she spoke to them like equal human beings, and how she apologized to them whenever she had to enforce one of the stupid authoritarian rules.... It was almost like they didn't know how to react to it, because they had never experienced it before.  That made me sad.  

The other mother really made me angry.  In particular, that part where Dana's son said the word "dam", in a casual conversation... and she basically said "if my kids were to curse, they're liable to get a smack in the mouth".

Ugh...

One thing that threw me a little off guard was when none of Dana's kids appeared to be able to read the "cycle" label on the dishwasher... that was disappointing to me.

Other than that though, it was great.

took the words right out of my mouth...or...hands since we're typing here? Lol anyway.

 

Yeah that was egregious that Mother Avery got offended by a curse that wasn't even directed by her. Horrible display of her lack of will since the Martin kids didn't even get to go to school for the first time. She totally failed to get that to happen due to being so abrasive. I also loved how Dayna got Andre to open up a bit telling him that he was choosing cruelty over love with his own children. It was nice to see him loosen up throughout the episode and become more...human with his kids.

 

As for the kids being unable to read, the one that couldn't read the word "only" figured out how to read recently. I follow Dayna on Facebook, she said Tiffany finally picked up a book and it was the One Direction biography. YUCK! but hey, it got her to finally read fully!

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  • 8 months later...
  • 1 month later...

Maybe to some degree, but the children got a rare insight into something special.  Even the husband (one of the most spineless guys I've ever seen) got the chance to bond with his son a bit, and that wont go away.  

 

The part where she comes dressed as a drill sergeant, she actually thought being a bitch was cute.  

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I don't know about rights, but I got the impression from what she said that she discussed it with them in detail and they agreed.  Though some of the kids were pretty young.  I can't speak to her thought process, and I don't know how much she knew about who the other person would be, but the dad was there as were camera men.  I certainly don't think her children were in danger.  

 

You make a good point though, and of course I trust that when you say you wouldn't do it you're being sincere.  I think the more hard core part was exposing those kids to public criticism, especially her daughter who was maligned on the internet for not yet knowing how to read.  Maybe thats my perspective, but something about a general public criticism like that would have been really hard to deal with as a kid... but dealing with a bitchy mom I mean... I did it for 18+ years so I might be too desensitized.  

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I don't know about rights, but I got the impression from what she said that she discussed it with them in detail and they agreed.  Though some of the kids were pretty young.  I can't speak to her thought process, and I don't know how much she knew about who the other person would be, but the dad was there as were camera men.  I certainly don't think her children were in danger.  

 

You make a good point though, and of course I trust that when you say you wouldn't do it you're being sincere.  I think the more hard core part was exposing those kids to public criticism, especially her daughter who was maligned on the internet for not yet knowing how to read.  Maybe thats my perspective, but something about a general public criticism like that would have been really hard to deal with as a kid... but dealing with a bitchy mom I mean... I did it for 18+ years so I might be too desensitized.  

 

It doesn't matter if they agreed. When the children are that young they cannot make such decisions and it is the parent's job to protect them from toxicity. If they were capable of making such decisions they would have jobs, their own apartments and wouldn't be dependent on other people to take care of them.  It's as simple as that...

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Devon is a blacksmith and makes his own clothes to sell online, and I think Tiffany runs a pet sitting business. According to Dayna they make more money than most adults do. I'm pretty sure they're competant in the job department, but yeah, when they were that young, they still had no idea what they were agreeing to and that's something she should be apologizing for if she hasn't yet.

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It doesn't matter if they agreed. When the children are that young they cannot make such decisions and it is the parent's job to protect them from toxicity. If they were capable of making such decisions they would have jobs, their own apartments and wouldn't be dependent on other people to take care of them.  It's as simple as that...

Thats definitely a noble way to approach parenting, though quite the challenge in this world. 

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  • 6 months later...

That was awesome, thanks for letting me know of this swap.

 

Immoral of the Martin's? Yeah. Could have prevented some trauma for the younger children. Since it already did occur though, I'd prefer being in a household where I could process immorality forced upon me over over a house where I cannot process anything even happy experiences, which will be the case in the house of the domineering black widow. It shows the difference between "process" and "processing".

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Link?

 

Nvm, found it [link].

 

It makes me cringe that Dayna would expose her children to this kind of toxicity.

 

Uhghghg it's even worse than I expected, I can hardly watch.

 

You don't have the right to expose your children to such a toxic personality...

 

If you offered me the same $20-40,000 she got to appear on the show on the condition my future child would be exposed to such a toxic personality, the answer would be a resounding "no fucking way".

 

Ditto.

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