Nathan T_ Freeman Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 http://realbeautysketches.dove.us/ Yeah, it's a commercial, but I still thought it was a beautiful demonstration of the incredible differences between how we see ourselves and how we see others. Man, wouldn't it be interesting to do that experiment with a group of sociopaths? Or politicians? But I repeat myself...
Kevin Beal Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 I'm not Stef obviously, but I had a thought or two about this I feel like sharing. I like it. I hate those voices in our heads that make us feel like we're less than we actually are. Or rather I hate the people who originally fostered these insecurities in us. (I'll just speak for everyone, lol.) I was actually talking with someone the other day that was claiming that with men the reverse is true: that they think they look better than they actually do. This was a mental health professional who told me this referencing a study that was very similar to this campaign. If that's true I wouldn't be too surprised if men's insecurities were simply to do with something other than their looks (generally speaking). I know for me it's had to do with competence, thinking that I wasn't doing things well enough and getting discouraged too quickly, when actually I'm pretty decent at what I do. This voice whispering "you're doing it wrong", so familiar that I forgot it was there. I like this Dove campaign and other reminders that we can be our own worst critics. Reminders to be empirical, really. And as isolated as I have been for most of my life I've been seeing lately just how much of an impact it's had on having ideas about how I am or look that aren't very empirical at all. I got this fortune cookie the other day that I really like that said "one cannot know the best that is in him". I don't know that this is strictly true, but it really struck a chord with me. (And btw, isn't it funny how almost no fortune cookies have actual fortunes in them?)
Steinhauser Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Is it worth mentioning the self-description portraits generally look more accurate than the stranger-described ones? And that's with TV makeup. I think strangers are just as or more likely to "polish up" their descriptions to avoid sounding rude as people are to understate their looks.
Kevin Beal Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Apparently another study here says that people think they are more attractive than they are. I can't find it right now, but I believe the Dove campaign is based on an actual study with scientists, double blinds, the whole deal. I don't think that they just pulled this idea out of thin air. And just anecdotally it seems true given quite a few conversations I've had with/about women who don't think they are as attractive as they actually are (with some notable exceptions). Maybe this is a specious argument, but if women don't undervalue their looks, then why is there so much makeup being sold and worn? I don't even like makeup. But to Stein's point, I might not mention blemishes and things to a sketch artist about another person, so I think it's both things.
Nathan T_ Freeman Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 Apparently another study here says that people think they are more attractive than they are. I can't find it right now, but I believe the Dove campaign is based on an actual study with scientists, double blinds, the whole deal. I don't think that they just pulled this idea out of thin air. And just anecdotally it seems true given quite a few conversations I've had with/about women who don't think they are as attractive as they actually are (with some notable exceptions). Maybe this is a specious argument, but if women don't undervalue their looks, then why is there so much makeup being sold and worn? I don't even like makeup. But to Stein's point, I might not mention blemishes and things to a sketch artist about another person, so I think it's both things. I agree with both of you that all these explanations are possible. It's not the more-or-less-attractive issue that I think is profound; it's the self-perception vs. other-perception issue.It is very difficult for people to comprehend that the rest of the world does not operate on their inner dialog. This commercial is a great concrete demonstration of that. Sure, it's about looks, but if you flipped it around and turned it into, say, a Briggs-Meyers questionnaire, it would have even more profound implications. About 15 years ago I was working in a startup with a group that was very into team-building efforts and we did DISC assessments. One of the interesting outcomes was whether other people agreed with the results of the description. Another interesting outcome was how people felt about their own assessment. Each of us understanding the way we saw ourselves compared to each other made a big impact on the honesty in our interactions. The company was not ultimately successful, but not because of our relationships. 15 years later, several of us are still close and treasure our shared experience. It strikes me that the commercial is a good introduction to this type of self-empathy. But perhaps I'm being generous.
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