Dream - visiting a mother

[Marco]

Hello there, I had a weird dream today. Maybe you want to help me figure out what it means?

Infos about me: Search "The longest introduction ;-) - greetings from a guy with a long philosophical journey". (I am now single and at episode 598.)

I rarely remember my dreams, but I was waiting for a dream to come since I am currently thinking a lot about my relationships with other people and I want to find out how to evaluate those relationships. (Also, I want to take ideas more and more seriously and live with more integrity.) So when I woke up at 3 o' clock I wrote down my dream.

 

Wake-up at 22.4.2013 3:00

For some reason I participate in a meeting of mothers, whose children have psychological Problems. The mothers are all very nice to me. I visit one of the mothers at her home. Her child is not there but I know (?) that her kid and I get along well. Her boy has "AMD" [no association for me; the dream was in German]. She has to go and wants me to leave the house.

My things are spread out in the room I'm in and I hurry to pick them all up. She says I should leave them because she can bring the things on monday (to the meeting). I continue picking them up and stuff them in my backpack and I even need another one. I do have another backpack which I also consider to be mine. Later I even have a suitcase, too.

Meanwhile I chat with the mother and I tell her that it is somehow strange for me to participate in the meetings, as I only go out of curiosity and the others go, because they want to help each other.

I leave behind a couple of socks because the mother is getting impatient. She seems tired and says half-seriously that I now owe her 10 €. I get the idea that I could sit her son for her instead and that maybe I can get another income from that. [i am currently getting more income through online tutoring and look for more ways in order to be financially independend.]

We go outside to a beautiful, planted inner yard and see another mother from the meetings, who sits on a wooden bench in front of her house. (She has a pretty face and smiles at us, we greet her. The mothers talk with each other for a short while.) I wake up.

 

Associations I had: Out of curiosity I used to go to meetings for polyamourous people. There was another teenager there, but most where in their late 20s or older (actually I feel more comfortable around older people i.e. late 20s because I feel they are more mature). I met a nice couple there (R+J) and began an affair with the man, R, with the consent of his wife J. The time I spend with them was very interesting. It was my first and only homosexual relationship (I normally prefer women). Once, we had a threesome. There was also non-sexual aspects: One time we had a picknick in the park with their girl and other mothers with their kids where present (I remember one mother in particular that was very nice to me). What's strange is that I don't really think about them that much now but rather about my parents and current friends. I value the experience I gained during my relationship with them, but I probably wouldn't go into such a relationship again because I would judge more critically. I no longer consider myself polyamourous, either. I might go to a party they are throwing in January, but haven't been in contact well over half a year (except the invitation to the party of course).

Now that I am writing the associations down, the dream becomes much clearer. However, I might have gone into the wrong direction and given you only information that fits that direction, so ask away. What I find strange is that if the dream has to do with R+J, why do I dream about them and not my parents, friends etc.? Mmh, maybe I am.

So, I wonder what you think. Feel free to speak your mind, I can take it. Thanks! []

[Pepin]

 

I'd suggest reading it from the point of view that you are the mother's child in the dream, and that some part of you is dependant on your mother, while the other part is dissociated from the relationship and the actions. See if that makes any sense.

I get the sense from reading your other post that you are rather conflicted about your family, and especially about your mother. I kind of felt as if an internal argument was going on in that post in regards to your childhood.

 

[LucasV]

 

 

Hey Marco, thanks for sharing your dream

 

Here are some thoughts I had on the dream somewhat influenced by the background you provided, my own experiences, and many very enlightening FDR podcasts

 

---When you say her child has AMD but this acronym/disorder is totally unkown to you, it makes me think your subconscious is saying that she is labeling her child with a made up 'disorder.'

For example, kids that express their dislike for being imprisoned and indoctrinated in schools are labeled with ADHD, ODD, etc, when in reality the children are healthy and have strong true selves but the parents, teachers, and schools are extremely corrupt. It is a fake label and concept that is tossed about to control the child and to justify the parents, teachers, and schools actions.

--Something fishy seems to be going on because you and her child get along, but she doesn't want you to be there while her child is there(is that right?) So ifyou two get along so well why wouldn't she let you spend time together?

---Next I have a few thoughts for the suitcase section. First it seems to indicate that you are somewhat implanted in her house and in her life because you have several bags and stuff strewn everywhere so it seems like you are not over for a quick visit. Also the way things seem to keep popping up indicates that you are looking for good reasons to stay longer. Also another thought is that packing a backpack, another backpack, a suitcase, and then leaving behind (possibly white?) socks may also represent sex. Stuffing backpacks can sort of be like intercourse and the socks could symbolize semen.

---When she seems tired and asks you for $10 one option that came to me is that be that she is asking for money after sex.

In my dreams it seems that pretty girls smiling at me for little to no reason indicates that they are open to or are there for sex/eye candy, but that is all they want/are for. Also their existance and smiles and prettiness may also be somewhat a projection of sex drive or of the dreamers own urges. The problem with these women is basically they are like the woman in the red dress in the Matrix. They are pretty and eye catching, but they are not virtuous or deep or even real and they are a distraction from much more important goals and drives.

---In the dream, it seems that your concious reasons for going to the meetings is to learn about mothers and children since you mention your curiosity and contrast that with not being there to help to the mother. At the same time the fact that they are all women and the smiling and prettyness and the fact that you find it strange that you go to the meetings, could indicate unconcious/ulterior motives of a possibly sexual/romantic nature.

---Another interesting thing is that you don't actually completely leave the house but you go to an "inner garden" which could be representing a sort of safe and secret meeting place away from the childs presence, perhaps you are giving your resources and true self to the women in that place?

 

I am sorry this got a little bit long and out of control but I hope it still helps. Also know that I am an amateur and a lot of my own experiences are in my analysis as well. I look forward to your thoughts

[Pepin]

I am a bit skeptical of there being a sexual meaning to the dream. This might just be because my intepretation would indicate something completely different, but I feel like it is because it is harder to make sense of the dream through the lens of sexuality.

You said that a lot of your own experiances are in the analysis, which is likely having a big impact on your interpretation. I would say that it is important to not project your own symbology onto another's dream, beause most symbology tends to be rather personal. There do seem to be more universal symbols, such as the home tending to be a symbol for the mind, but most symbols are more likely to be personal.

[LucasV]

Hi Pepin, thank you for the feedback. From it  I realized that I should have elaborated a little bit more in my first post, which I will do here, and hopefully it will answer your questions and address your concerns by making it clearer where I am coming from and more importantly I hope enable Marco to determine how well the interpretation fits with his life.

 

Here is a more complete and connected/continuous interpretation.

So Marco has a desire and has made a commitment to learn philosophy and to live philosophically. This is indicated by him listening to FDR and participating on the boards and from his user profile description etc. Marco also looks to be a very good looking guy form his photo and he has also been able to be sexually promiscuous in the past, which for males, this is likely an indication of physical attractiveness. Now what I believe this dream is telling him is that the desire to be philosophical and virtuous and the desire/drive/instinct for hollow physical sexual relationships, are somewhat mutually exclusive. In the dream we can see this in several ways. First we see that the child is being referred to as having a disorder that doesn't exist, ie. the child is not submitting to the system and therefore the system is labeling the child as 'deviant.' We then see that the mother wants to keep Marco away from her child for whatever reason, so Marco is unable to interact with and be supportive and kind towards the child that desperately needs help. At the same time that Marco cannot help the child, he is possibly indirectly harming him by interacting with and supporting and pleasing the corrupt mother/mothers with hollow experiences. His true self is telling him that there is a choice to make between hollow meaningless physical sexual pursuits and helping save the world/next generation and himself from corruption.

 

Now, when I said a lot of this was influenced by my own experience, I really didn't specifiy anything so I am sorry about that, I will explain it more here.

I also happen to be very physically attractive and could be promiscuous if I wanted to be and I also struggle with seeing women for who they are at times when my sexual desires get in the way, especially when I know on some level that I could date/have sex with many shallow women that I come across. I have also had dreams where it seemed to me that there was a clear conflict between pretty/smiley women which seem to correspond to sex, and with philosophy, my personal safety and integrity, and the desire to be virtuous.

So there is my very amateur analysis, please let me know your thoughts and if it makes any sense to you Marco and those who read this

[Marco]

First of all, thank you so much for the responses! I really appreciate it. It’s amazing how much soul-searching one short dream can bring. It’s definitely helping a lot, thank you! :-)@Pepin: It is certainly true that I am conflicted about my mother. For a lot of things I can give you an example where she is a very good mother and another where she is not so good. For example she writes a kind of journal for my brother and me since we were born where she writes down everything that is noteworthy about us. It really warmed my heart when I read things I remember from my childhood in there. She was a kindergartener once and I think she gave child-rearing a lot of thought. On the other hand, she is not very interested in my ideas and just argues against them in a way that I perceive as very aggressive and non-curious.Also, I do feel very dependent on my parents, for good or ill.So yeah, there is a big internal debate going on in my mind right now.@Lucas: The thing with the AMD, that’s a very good idea. It would certainly clear up why I have no clue what the letters stand for.Well, it’s not really the case that she doesn’t want me to be there while the child is there. The child is not there (maybe I’m the child though). I got more the impression that she just wanted to leave her house in order to do something/get to some place and therefore I had to leave, too. And we then both went outside.With the suitcases, yes, I think I was stalling. Maybe for some reason I wanted to stay – I was implanted, as you say. I think the socks where black or brown. If they had been white that would have been an unusual detail since I don’t own white socks (for laundry reasons).I haven’t yet considered the sexual dimension yet but it is a possibility. I have to think about that. It certainly makes a lot of sense considering I found the second mother pretty and the association chain: mother meetings in the dream, poly meetings IRL and relationship with R and J.The last point I found very interesting and it really struck a chord. That was a beautiful image in the dream: me with two women in an inner garden with the sun shining and the women chatting. It being a kind of sanctuary/true self place makes sense.@Lucas (second post): Thanks, I almost overlooked the fact that if I am not the child than yeah, there might be a child that I cannot help. I how strong the impression was that I and the kid get along well (because that would indicate that I do see him and care for him). It kind of seems to me like the child not being there was a logical inconsistency that had to be explained away in the dream.Your advice about women rings very true to me. I took a lot of pride in being sexually open minded and being a good lover. I was curious enough to check out the poly and BDSM community. Also for a Satanist, carnal desires are something to be cherished (not irresponsibly, of course, but it is definitely a hedonistic as well as an epicurean philosophy). Now I see it a bit differently and I try to take an approach that is more rational. As I said, I really appreciate it. Even if some things doesn’t seem to fit, it is definitely a good conversation starter or for me a “thought starter”.

[Pepin]

Thanks LucasV for the expansion. I am now a little less certain of myself lol.

Marco, I feel like you'll figure this dream out with a bit of time.