Dassquatch Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I'm a recent atheist convert from Christianity. My wife and daughter are Christian and unaware of this fact. My wife is a devout Christian. My daughter is still questioning, as I have always told her that she can choose whatever she likes, so long as we can discuss it. We are in this predicament due almost entirely (and regrettably) to my curiosity about the Christian faith. My wife had been Christian during her high school years, fell out, and returened when I brought her to the church so she would have a support group if we split (we weren't married at the time, and I wanted her to have local friends and a support structure of some sort). So, now my daughter is questioning (which makes me very happy), but my wife is a dedicated Christian. Because we are in a tenuous position financially and socially, I feel that I should make contacts and relationships outside of the church before leaving. This would be to insulate us from any possible ostracism and retribution from the well-connected church members (as we live in Texas). Where in the hell do I start? I went from military to Christian, and have virtually no contacts outside of the church. -The Dassquatch
ribuck Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 It's inconsistent to tell your daughter to choose whatever she likes, provided she discusses it, when you are not discussing your own conversion to rationality with your wife and daughter. So you could start with that. Why not join a local sports club, or hobbyist group, for some activity that you really enjoy? It may take a while to build up new friends that way, but in my experience friends that share a common interest make better friends than those who share nothing more than a dogma. Clubs and societies are normally neither religious nor non-religious, so they'll help you to get away from that whole cult thing.
Jeffrey Slater Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 That's a really tough situation to be in. Being from a small town in Texas myself, I can totally understand how you could feel like everyone around you is devout. I am still in the process of 'coming out' as an atheist to all of those around me. It is really intimidating, and I don't even have a wife / kids to worry about on top of it all. I wish I could say 'it gets better,' but the reality is that there just aren't that many openly atheist people in Texas. Still, I think being honest is the best way. The people in your church may avoid you, but I doubt they will go out of their way to make your life miserable. Plus, you might even find that some of them feel the same way, or that at least that they aren't willing to sacrifice their friendships with you over theological differences. You will only know if you have that conversation first. Good luck. -Jeff
Dassquatch Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 OK, so I broke the news to the wife. It went better than expected. Grazi for the advice. Next step, talking to the Padre. I think that'll be the really interesting one.
LovePrevails Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 well done dasquatch!! cobgratulations on facing a difficult conversation! i wish you all the best in finding a nonn-theistic support group
ribuck Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Next step, talking to the Padre. I think that'll be the really interesting one. What outcome are you anticipating from talking to the padre? I've never been a christian, but I think in your situation I'd just leave "cold turkey".
Dassquatch Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 He tends to take things very personally. But I did tell him that if I was to leave, I would tell him why. That's all.
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