Self Therapy

[Wesley]

So I am getting set up to move out of my house, get a new job, and get corrupt people out of my life. In order to do this, I likely will not be able to continue my therapy as I likely will move looking for a new job, new place to live, etc and the money I am currently spending for therapy will have to go to bills, at least in the near term.

The next couple months of therapy will be talking about some of this stuff, making sure it is the right decision, processing my emotions.

However, what I most want to do is to continue my therapy in the "Daniel Mackler Method" of self-therapy. I will be going back and listening to some of those podcasts and getting myself set on a journaling schedule. I am wondering if anyone has any experience or advice in this area. What are some workbooks I should check out? What strategies do people use for journaling and dream journaling? Questions to ask or schedule people use?

I definitely want to continue to move forward even though I will not be able to afford it in the near term.

Thanks in advance for any help or insight you can provide.

[Mellony]

I have no experience with this, but I wanted to say thanks for the info.  I have never heard of self-therapy....Can you get his podcasts for free?

[Jeremi]

I also have a lot of interest in pursuing self-therapy but I'm wondering if anyone can attest to its effectiveness. Is there a level at which it becomes a problem if delving into deep wounds?

[cherapple]

That is the fear, isn't it? That if we delve too deeply into ourselves, we get lost in ourselves? The truth is, we lose ourselves when we stay on the surface.

[Jeremi]

 

That is the fear, isn't it? That if we delve too deeply into ourselves, we get lost in ourselves? The truth is, we lose ourselves when we stay on the surface.

 

 

I meant in the context of doing it by yourself without someone with experience to guide you.

[Wesley]

Here is what I know.

First is that I have my situation by which I will have to stop seeing a therapist. I am looking to continue to improve and work on things, though obviously at a slower pace. I fully expect that once I am financially stable again, I will find a new therapist and hopefully be further along with things. This will also at least help me to know what things I need to work on and have a lot of material to build from. 

I thought for a while, that when I went through this that I just wouldnt be able to see a therapist. However, I did some volunteer work in tagging some old Sunday shows and ended up finding these podcasts:

FDR1562 Interview with Therapist Daniel Mackler - Freedomain Radio

FDR1572 Sunday Show 31 January 2010 - Guest Psychotherapist Daniel Mackler - Freedomain Radio

In these, Daniel has spent tons and tons of time and energy working on himself and even seems to dismiss therapists. I think he has an advantage because he was a therapist himself and so it was easier for him to not have a therapist. 

I am looking for some more information as to how I can accomplish this, what kinds of routines people may have done, resources for asking questions, problems that arose and how they were solved. 

Things like that so I can make the most of my self therapy period.

[cherapple]

This is what I've done: Journal, journal, and journal some more. Listen to podcasts and journal about the "parts," voices, and ideas that come up while I'm listening. Read books, talk honestly to people around me and see what happens, journal about it. If I don't want to talk honestly, have the conversation in my journal, as I think it would go, or as I'd like it to go. Record childhood memories and how they affected me and made me feel. Have conversations with my therapist or other kind person (myself) in my journal. Internalize the voice of kindness, acceptance, and curiosity that he or she has provided. Have loads of conversations with people who are also working on self-knowledge. Continue this process for three to five years, or indefinitely. 

[Wesley]

 

This is what I've done: Journal, journal, and journal some more. Listen to podcasts and journal about the "parts," voices, and ideas that come up while I'm listening. Read books, talk honestly to people around me and see what happens, journal about it. If I don't want to talk honestly, have the conversation in my journal, as I think it would go, or as I'd like it to go. Record childhood memories and how they affected me and made me feel. Have conversations with my therapist or other kind person (myself) in my journal. Internalize the voice of kindness, acceptance, and curiosity that he or she has provided. Have loads of conversations with people who are also working on self-knowledge. Continue this process for three to five years, or indefinitely. 

 

While seemingly obvious, I very much appreciate your post and has at least given me a place to start, so I thank you for that. 

[Jeremi]

 

 

This is what I've done: Journal, journal, and journal some more. Listen to podcasts and journal about the "parts," voices, and ideas that come up while I'm listening. Read books, talk honestly to people around me and see what happens, journal about it. If I don't want to talk honestly, have the conversation in my journal, as I think it would go, or as I'd like it to go. Record childhood memories and how they affected me and made me feel. Have conversations with my therapist or other kind person (myself) in my journal. Internalize the voice of kindness, acceptance, and curiosity that he or she has provided. Have loads of conversations with people who are also working on self-knowledge. Continue this process for three to five years, or indefinitely. 

 

While seemingly obvious, I very much appreciate your post and has at least given me a place to start, so I thank you for that. 

 

 

Snipes,

 

If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible.

[cherapple]

 

While seemingly obvious, I very much appreciate your post and has at least given me a place to start, so I thank you for that. 

 

You're welcome.

[Mellony]

 

 

 

This is what I've done: Journal, journal, and journal some more. Listen to podcasts and journal about the "parts," voices, and ideas that come up while I'm listening. Read books, talk honestly to people around me and see what happens, journal about it. If I don't want to talk honestly, have the conversation in my journal, as I think it would go, or as I'd like it to go. Record childhood memories and how they affected me and made me feel. Have conversations with my therapist or other kind person (myself) in my journal. Internalize the voice of kindness, acceptance, and curiosity that he or she has provided. Have loads of conversations with people who are also working on self-knowledge. Continue this process for three to five years, or indefinitely. 

 

While seemingly obvious, I very much appreciate your post and has at least given me a place to start, so I thank you for that. 

 

 

Snipes, 

If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible.

 

 

I would really be interested in that!

[Wesley]

 

Snipes,

 

If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible.

 

I am interested, but tenative. I am not sure what it would be like, what would be involved or how it would go. I haven't been in a group situation before. 

[Jeremi]

 

 

Snipes,

 

If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible.

 

I am interested, but tenative. I am not sure what it would be like, what would be involved or how it would go. I haven't been in a group situation before. 

 

\\

I'm not sure either but it has to be better to talk to other FDR people in a group setting than the average person. 

[Mellony]

 

 

 

Snipes,

 

If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible.

 

I am interested, but tenative. I am not sure what it would be like, what would be involved or how it would go. I haven't been in a group situation before. 

 

\\

I'm not sure either but it has to be better to talk to other FDR people in a group setting than the average person. 

 

I too would rather talk to FDR people.  Some of the things I believe really aren't understood by typical people.  

[AdamC]

 

What are some workbooks I should check out? What strategies do people use for journaling and dream journaling? Questions to ask or schedule people use?

 

Thanks for starting this thread. I'm always fascinated by people's self-knowledge processes.

I'm in a similar situation: I had to stop therapy prematurely due to financial concerns.

I started regularly journaling at least a year before starting therapy. For me, given my childhood experiences (or lack of them), therapy was about experiencing an attuned and empathetic relationship rather than gathering and processing intellectual insights. The big insight (or just the recurring insight) was how much I intellectualized about the therapeutic relationship to defend myself against the relationship (and all other relationships).

So, I'm somewhat cautious about journaling, recognizing that, for me, it can be an easy defense against relational experiences.

Nonetheless, journaling has been – and continues to be – very useful, and these are the journaling strategies/habits that work for me:

- Using dreams to gain spontaneous access to mecosystem parts/subpersonalities/schemas. I journal most (but not all) dreams using the Gestalt method [1] [2] where every object/character within the dream is given a voice and the events and relationships within the dream are explored from its point of view. I've been amazed that some of the most integrative ideas and insights have been generated from the very smallest dream fragments.

- Collecting images/photos that represent mecosystem parts/subpersonalities/schemas, and arranging and relating those images to each other in a way that seems to make sense. I gave up trying to name or apply verbal labels to parts. I'm more interested in feeling their feelings and facilitating their non-verbal expression.

- Collecting quotations and processing notes taken from books, articles, and FDR podcasts. The books I've found particularly rich and evocative are: Character Styles, Interpersonal Process in Therapy, and Existential Psychotherapy. Also, The Eight Domains of Integration detailed in Mindsight might be useful for creating a broader plan of self-work.

- Writing pages about the "moments" I've experienced by SIFTing (Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts) through them in as much detail as I can recall. I find myself going back to these pages to process and integrate the recent insights I've gained. This going back seems to relax something within me, as if an older, wiser me is back there in that moment providing real-time support and understanding to the younger me. Those are the most satisfying experiences I've had whilst journaling.

- Writing diaries on days when something particularly noteworthy has
occured, but mostly relying on dreams to surface and communicate anything deeper
that I've missed or am too defended against acknowledging.

- Writing "morning pages"/brain dumps whenever I've found myself daydreaming, ruminating, or having repetitive imaginary conversations. I'm usually surprised at what comes out once I start externalizing. I make no effort to tidy up or process these brain dumps; I like the idea of having a purely spontaneous/messy space in my journal/life where things are left unresolved and perhaps unresolvable.

- Meditating to open up my awareness and lessen my distractibility.

- Adding to three lists: (1) self-attacks; (2) desires/wishes; (3) fears/regrets.

- Most of my journal is written as questions to avoid premature conclusions. Journaling became more of a habit after I began rephrasing my thoughts as questions, perhaps because it left issues open for other parts to add their view and thereby lessened intrapersonal conflict and resistance.

- I tried sentence completion exercises and self-directed IFS convos but rebelled against the structure.

- I use a TiddlyWiki as my journal.

[Jeremi]

 

 

 

 

Snipes,

 

If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible.

 

I am interested, but tenative. I am not sure what it would be like, what would be involved or how it would go. I haven't been in a group situation before. 

 

\\

I'm not sure either but it has to be better to talk to other FDR people in a group setting than the average person. 

 

I too would rather talk to FDR people.  Some of the things I believe really aren't understood by typical people.  

 

I'm happy to work on some time we can try to get something setup. Maybe it will be easier if you just drop me your details in chat at some point? Maybe Snipes and others willl want to join once we clarify what kind of format we want.

[Wesley]

 

I'm happy to work on some time we can try to get something setup. Maybe it will be easier if you just drop me your details in chat at some point? Maybe Snipes and others willl want to join once we clarify what kind of format we want.

 

Yea, you can let me know what happens or we can exchange some info. I might as well try things, and if it doesn't work out then no harm is done.

[cherapple]

Ten Ways to Be Your Own Therapist, by Daniel Mackler

[Jeremi]

We had the first online fdr group therapy session this past saturday and everybody gave very positive feedback. Please message me if you want to join us and I'll give you all the details. 

[Andersfilosof]

Hey Chekhovs, I'm definitely interested in this.  My email is [email protected] if you want to send the information there.

[Kevin Beal]

I had a thought about therapy and self therapy that is pretty new to me and that I found helpful.

Working with a psychotherapist is like working with a personal trainer. Most of the work is done outside of this one on one training (whether you realize it or not, I think). You work with the coach to get helpful perspectives and to share your experience with, and to have a relationship with someone ®evolving around that work. Whether your coach is present or not it's still you lifting those weights, and you do it to the point where you have enough practice and experience to be your own coach.

Like anything I think self therapy mostly comes down to practice. Practice connecting with your own experience of yourself and your life, your goals and values etc until it's second nature. 

I think it's important to have a therapist who's a good person and who's voice you can internalize to your own benefit. To have that built in reminder reminding you (for example) to be a little more curious and a little less critical of yourself like a good therapist might say. If you don't have other models besides the ones you inherited being in less than great circumstances then I can't imagine how self therapy is going to work, so I like this idea of exposing yourself to other people who have some degree of self knowledge (like FDR folk).

I certainly need help like I think we all do to be able to see ourselves. It's hard doing things in isolation.

Those are my thoughts anyway. Interesting thread

[Wesley]

 

Hey Chekhovs, I'm definitely interested in this.  My email is [email protected] if you want to send the information there.

 

Right now we are just meeting in the chat room at noon EST on Saturdays and making a private chat. However, we already got up to 7 people who met (with some great conversation I may add) but if we continue to get more interest we may need to add more times or do Skype or something. We probably will talk about some options and see what people's interest is or availability.

It is quite enjoyable to talk through some of these things with other people on the self-knowledge journey.