hobbesjobs Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 I've worked 2 days at a facility where we watch kids, allow free play, and also do some education. A couple of my female coworkers do not hesitate to yell at a child or group of children near the top of their voice. I don't know if it's abusive, but it's rattling even to me in my early 20s. The children seem to be used to it. How can I change this behavior and keep a positive professional relationship?
cjtkirk Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 How about practicing telling someone how the yelling affects YOU? Someone taught me to use this form: "I notice...I imagine....I feel" Notice the "I" words. For example "I notice loud voices directed at children....I imagine they are angry.....I feel xxxxx (scared, distracted, nervous whatever)" Best of luck. Above all else stay true to yourself!
MysterionMuffles Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Is the content of the yelling abusive? Do they call the children names or give threats? If thats the case I would voice my discomfort. If its reasonable stuff like yelling to get the childrens attention before doing something dangerous, ask why they cant do the same thing calmly or by simply lifting the chilld out of the siutuation. Hell I would go so far as to sit down withnone of the women and one of the children who seems to get yelled at a lot, and ask the kid in front of the woman how it feels to be yelled at. Hopefully that child has not normalized the yelling and justify it as being looked out forr their best interest. It sounds like it may be the case but still worth a shot.
LovePrevails Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 lead by example, constantly be displaing great relationships with the children, ask them about preferences, acknowledge their emotions -as a practice- if they do something that someone would give them a ticking off for, show curiosity and ask them if they are enjoying what they are ding before pointing out kindly why it might not be such a great idea, this is what I did when i was a vounteer in school and the teachers got a couple of shocks from watching me! You can't UNSEE something effective. check out my channel for some help www.youtube.com/theprogressiveparent
Zava Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 This may not help Wow, wow, wow! That video contains amazing information. With someone I care about, I will automatically ask, "Are you OK" but with a stranger or someone who has been aggressive with me or others in the past, I never consider asking that: I only considered how to escape or how to address the behavior itself instead or "rescue" as he describes it. I'm bookmarking it for additional viewings... I need to incorporate this. So helpful, thanks!
Guest Exceptionalist Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 That's easy, how about the Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg?
Stephen C Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Wow, wow, wow! That video contains amazing information. With someone I care about, I will automatically ask, "Are you OK" but with a stranger or someone who has been aggressive with me or others in the past, I never consider asking that: I only considered how to escape or how to address the behavior itself instead or "rescue" as he describes it. I'm bookmarking it for additional viewings... I need to incorporate this. So helpful, thanks! Dude! I was totally thinking about linking a Peter Gerlach video on your "Porn and Honesty" thread, but I decided against it. I'm glad you're finding his channel useful. You're welcome.
LovePrevails Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I suppose this would be the wrong pplace to shamelessly self-promote the two interviews of Pete Gerlach I conducted? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=461QHiHA6pI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPIOeO7JcQc 2 and a half hours of the best content on the internet, no bias
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