cam.bankord Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I understand joining the cause of destruction and death, for profit of a few. But I also understand that not changing my environment, and staying in a stasis, waiting for my life to count down, is also not the answer. I need dramatic change, I have no possibility for love or truth with the place I'm at in my life, and seeing the hypocrisy and wasted potential is slow suicide. I would rather be in another country somewhere, meeting new people, reading my books, and possibly making change for the better, knowing the comrades to the left and to the right are brainwashed, while I see through the grinding and draining words of the sheep dogs. The truth is, I would rather join any cause and have a life, over waiting for a cause to reach me, and waiting for potential to reach me... because I cannot move out on the finances I accrue. I cannot afford school, or willing to accept the non-intuitive nature of academia, stasis of innovation. To pay interest for knowledge, to owe years for credence. I am a skilled information systems technician, and I have nothing but pain and heartache, being passed up by women my entire life, having abandonment issues from not only my father and mother, but my brother as well. I've been my best, I've tried my best, but as I grow older, I see the potential for joining something other than myself, as fading. Fading like the innocence of a younger me, to an individualist, that knows the errors, but seeks the flame of opportunity and change. The conflicting nature of my age group not understanding my words, or not seeing the disease and poison of the state in front of them. The conflicting nature of my appearance and those women willing to date only the cliche "protector" type, unwilling to see the strengths I offer. Violent as I may be, I tried to be a bad boy, I worked out, I fought, I bled my graciousness and altruism dry to be a taker and not a giver. In the end, my attitude and selflessness wasn't the problem of acceptance, it was something exterior, still unknown to me. I would rather join the wolves leading the sheep, and possibly help some of the sheep along the way, than wait in my cage, to die. Anger envelopes me, changes my cause from bringing down the state, to throwing fuel on the fire and being the state. Destruction awaits all in a society perturbed of such ignorance Might as well become that destruction, so we all can see a brighter day... sooner rather than later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan C. Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I'd encourage you to reconsider. Please have a look at the following threads on this subject. The Case Against Joining the Military Military sexual trauma is commonplace Epidemic of suicide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam.bankord Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 I'd encourage you to reconsider. Please have a look at the following threads on this subject. The Case Against Joining the Military Military sexual trauma is commonplace Epidemic of suicide The thought of death does not bother me, the thought of murder does not bother me. It's an inevitable consequence, but the reason for the murder is what bothers. The reason that you're told to be somewhere, somewhere you shouldn't be, which causes others to defend themselves, for you to defend your life. Killing someone is an atrocity of wasted potential, but it's also apart of life. Death is apart of life, just as all energy transmutation is absolute. Things will always die, and life is about the good and the bad, because without the bad... the good can never taste so sweet. The psychology of being used... is irrelevant to the fact of having a radical environment change and having a perspective which is unknown to most people, within a finite life span. Having the struggle, enduring the pain, will always make wiser, those of whom already have hearts of stone. I need drastic life change, irrespective of what the philosophy or idea of being there is. The objective facts of learning to defend yourself, primitive survival skills, being paid to life in another country, meeting others, and having said that you have experienced such a huge part of civilization, outweighs the biased and true opposition of it. The objective facts as stated, will always outweigh "what we think". If war was righteous, it would be the greatest thing ever... but it's all just a perspective, and if I handle myself well... I can be a force for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen C Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Why did you post here, Cam?I don't mean to imply you should or shouldn't. I'm genuinely curious what you would like to achieve through this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasDoubts Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 It may seem presumptious, but here are my thoughts. It seems to me that what you are really seeking is acceptance. Acceptance and approval from women, and society. You mention that the problem isn't internal but some unknown external factor. For clarification, do you mean physical traits, appearance, manorisms, etc.? It is not unique or uncommon to seek approval, it's natural. I think you may find however, that the military by its very nature is among the most conformist social structures. There is a certain appeal to a lost soul seeking approval in joining a group where your value is determined almost entirely by the degree of your conformity, rather than your virtue, skill, wisdom, etc. All that is required for acceptance is submission to authority, which is antithical to the foundations of this community. Speaking anecdotally, the military sells an idea, not a reality. "Be all you can be" is all well and good until you're mopping the floor of an aircraft carrier day after day. I had a close friend who joined the armed forces at 19 when the only girlfriend he ever had pressured him into finding a respectable future, one where he could provide for her and a family, and be a respectable member of society. He had grand visions of a marriage in the near future, a doubling in salary, housing allowances, etc. Less than a year after he signed up, he got a call from her explaining that she had "met someone" and could no longer continue their relationship. Putting aside judgements on her charactor, he found himself battling depression, strong contemplations of suicide, and bound to serve the remaining 4 years of his contract doing what he described as nothing meaningful. You speak of joining a cause but I submit to you that doing anything meaningful, nonetheless virtuous, in the military is a long shot at best. The chances that you become part #3465kl43 in an oppressive, self serving machinery of violence are overwhelming. When you come home people will wave flags, express gratitude, praise your sacrifice, and consider you a patriot. You will have your acceptance, but that will fade. You'll rejoin the real world and realize one morning how meaningless your service was, and how inevitable and fradulent your acceptance was. All it required was blind submission. You can experience all kinds of civilization, read your books, travel the world, etc. without the military. You can learn survival skills without the military. You can make a drastic change without the military. You can be a force for good without the military. All things are possible. Introspect on why the military? You can seek acceptance through virtue. You can seek it through conformity. You can seek it by any means necessary. The choice is yours, but I encourage taking the path less traveled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Existing Alternatives Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Killing someone is an atrocity of wasted potential, but it's also apart of life. If war was righteous, it would be the greatest thing ever... but it's all just a perspective, and if I handle myself well... I can be a force for good. Just to clarify, how is murder part of life? Also, from what perspective is war righteous? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the belly of the beast Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 I am sorry to hear you are in such a terrible mental space. But please reconsider this course of action. Your post above strikes me as a declaration of mental suicide. The tone that I perceive is one of numbness and resignation to evil and corruption. Have you sought help in turning your life around and pursuing your values in a more fulfilling way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam.bankord Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Just to clarify, how is murder part of life? Also, from what perspective is war righteous? War is definitely not righteous, but in a society that irrationally viewed it as honorable, our civilization would be the apex. Murder isn't apart of life, I meant that death is inevitable to everyone, irrespective to duration and time. I'm apathetic and demand change from myself and my environment, and I just cannot see any other options within my race against time. Why did you post here, Cam?I don't mean to imply you should or shouldn't. I'm genuinely curious what you would like to achieve through this thread. My intention is to express a slightly understandable view of those who join war, and why they do it. It's not only anger and desperation, but change that leads others to this road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I could be totally wrong, so feel free to tell me that I am, however I have a few ideas and would like to float my theories. Some may be more relevant than others, or it all could be bogus. Just let me know what, if anything, resonates. It sounds to me like you fear abandonment and being alone because of your mentioned issues with it. Thus, you would prefer to chose a cause over no cause. However, you are opening up to philosophy and realizing how alone you are and is a path toward reviving the true self. The only group you can think to join is the military, and you are doing your best to define it in innocuous terms like: "The objective facts of learning to defend yourself, primitive survival skills, being paid to life in another country, meeting others, and having said that you have experienced such a huge part of civilization, outweighs the biased and true opposition of it. The objective facts as stated, will always outweigh "what we think". If war was righteous, it would be the greatest thing ever... but it's all just a perspective, and if I handle myself well... I can be a force for good." However, in reality you will not be a force for good. Your self that you have tried to find will just become even more buried. Your true self that your false self desires to have you bury forever was about to come out. This will lead to a full erasure of the self. You will turn from an individual with thoughts and ideas into and tool to be used by your commanders. An erased self used to extinguish the selves of other. There is no righteousness in this. There is only sadness and pain. You say you view life as a slow suicide. Instead of asking why or trying to improve life, you are thinking of choosing a fast suicide. Either you will die, or your true self will be buried to the point of being unable to resurrect. However, these are not the only options in the world. The goal is to be happy, not to pick the best suicide. I am very sorry for what you are going through. This cannot be easy. I would very much advise you get help in trying to build up and discover your true self and to flourish as an individual rather than choosing the quick death of war or self-erasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duderio Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 goodbye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Existing Alternatives Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 My intention is to express a slightly understandable view of those who join war, and why they do it. It's not only anger and desperation, but change that leads others to this road. One more clarification: is this a thought exercise for you or a genuine statement of intent? If you are just trying to understand how people feel prior to joining the military, it’s definitely a worthy exploration. On the other hand, your post sounds like you are five minutes away from signing away your life. I think that unnecessarily scares a lot of people in their replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob_Ilir Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Say no to the yratilim, man! To me, what you are saying is that you will join the kkk, because they are the closest grapes you can reach, they pay the bills and teach survival skills (to those who have the guns?!), even though you know what they really do and what survival really means. I hope you will remember that each shiny plastic badge you will get decorated/stamp of obeyed with, will never bring you to now and to rethink this easily thrown out future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belluavir Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 There's like what, six billion people on this planet? Do you seriously think you have to join a band of maurading barbarians to meet any of them? I have a friend who spent some time homeless, he wandered the streets and met lots of interesting people. Not saying that you have to be homeless but the point is that there are people out there, take some chances, step outside your comfort zone, just talk to somebody. And you could do all kinds of things other than become a cog in a murder machine. You could quit your job and do something completely unrelated, just for a change of pace. There is a company called C.R. England, if you've spent any time on the highway you've probably seen their trucks. They will pay for you to get a class A CDL (Commercial Drivers License) and garauntee you a job driving all across the country, no previous experience necessary (except a drivers license and a relatively clean record, no DUIs etc.), if you don't live near the training facility, they will pay for your accomodation (it takes about a month to compete). You get to travel, you make good money ($30k- $40k first year, keeps going up after that) , you get new skills, you get to meet new people. And who knows, maybe you'll love it and you'll buy your own truck and work for yourself. Or maybe you won't like it that much and you'll quit after a year or two but it'd still be a cool and different experience and you can move on to something else. That's just one example. Come on man, you can do better than this, you ARE better than this. And maybe it's the anarchist in me talking but do you seriously believe the bullshit propaganda about traveling the world and meeting people and all this great shit they promise you? I'd sooner accept a check from Newt Gingrich. You don't REALLY know what you're going to get into because there's so much bullshit surrounding it, but you do know that the military is pure fucking evil, more evil than the IRS I'd say, and that's really saying a lot. If you want to learn to survive, there's plenty of groups, classes, hobbyist organisations and the like that are around. If you want to learn to defend yourself, take up krav maga. Also if you want to make your own decisions and live life for yourself, is taking orders from the man about when you can take a shit or whatever they're gonna tell you to do really the way to go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seventwentyseven Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 The thought of death does not bother me, the thought of murder does not bother me. But the thought of moving somewhere else without money bothers you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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