Parents can't change a childs behaviour.

[MaxM]

Im sick and discusted with all this horrible parental  preachy advice comming from these Dr Shmucks with severe childism problems who treat children like a machine to be modified to suit the need of the user (parent). Oh your child has anger problems, adhd, anxiety disorder oh well instead of the underlying cause, (child abuse) lets give them drugs or insert some reason that doesn't point to pathetic sociopathic abusing parents.

 

Any parent who thinks they can change there child behaviour is either dillusional or doesn't understand human psychology at a fundamental level, which is usually the case. Trying to change persons behaviour is asking for conflict in the relationship and inflicting stress and anxiety over the persons. The more the disparaty of power the more the stress and anxiety inflicted ie abuse.

 

People only have the power to change there own behaviour and that is fact, no matter how much foolish parents wish and dream they mold some perfect robot child.

 

So how can I help my child with there behaviour? Well it's simple. All creatures on this planet have to do one thing and they can't controll it. It is instictive and healthy and natural. All creatures must adapt to there environment. Fact. It is a PARENT'S JOB to create an environment for the child. A child will adapt to the environment you create negative or positive whatever.

 

So what type of environment should I create and how? Hey, your the fucking parent! Read a book.

The next time you or someone you see tries to change a childs behaviour eg, "do X or else...". not the environment eg, mom dad i want to do x because (environmenral factor installed by parents). It may seem harder at first but if you prepare and study, which you better because if you dont then your telling everyone that your child means less to you than a highschool test in which case you are undeserving of a child and should put him or her up for adoption, then you will have 0 troubles with childrens behavior, The diffrece in long term ease is akin to walking up a river and floating down it,

Please educate them, for the childs sake.

[FiddlertheLeper]

I think you might want to re-examine some of your thoughts on this matter.  While I agree that the environment is the major influence in a child's behavior, (adults as well though to at least a slightly lesser degree) the parents and their own desires, preferences, beliefs, and behavior are a fundamental part of a child's environment.  And, although your right in saying it is the child who changes themselves, children naturally want to please their parents.  This leads to the child changing it's behavior to suit the parent's desires or preferences, this in and of itself is not negative.  But, it has a great potential to be either negative, or positive.  The fundamental disconnect I see in the parent child relationship is the lack of any real involvement on behalf of the child.  The child needs to have the ability to effect it's environment, and this needs to happen (for the most part) through the parents.  This makes it the parents responsibility to discover, understand, and guide the child's desires, preferences, needs, and the resulting behavior, not by commanding, or punishing the child.  But, through reasoning and negotiating with the child, helping the child to understand why a particular behavior is negative or another is positive.  Saying parent's Can't change their children is only correct on the surface level, the reality is parent's can and do change their children everyday.  The problem is that they do this in ways that is often times beneficial to the parents, while being (at least in the long run, and often times in the short term as well) negative to the child.  The other problem with the argument that parents can't change their children, is it removes the responsibility for the behaviors of the child from the parents.  One thing I do agree with you on fully, is that in order to help a child change a behavior that is negative, the focus needs to be not just on the behavior but on the root cause of the behavior.  But, in my opinion, it remains the responsibility of the parents to guide the child's behavior towards healthy, self improvement, rather than self-destructive behavior or behavior that is harmful to others or the environment of the child.  

Now I do agree that the horror's of Childism in our world need to go.  It is simply soul destroying and mind boggling to see the amount of hypocrisy surrounding the issue of children in our world.  And, that begins with parents.   

[JamesP]

The most important part of the child's environment are the parents themselves.