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Self Medication and Self Preservation


Elias Tate

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 i've been struggling with lack of motivation, depression and paralyzing anxiety, to the point of non functioning in my day to day life. I have made a little headway on resolving this through self knowledge and introspection recently, but I know I need to be more active and emotionally stable than I am now, so my life doesn't implode in the meantime. This may sound stupid, but I've been considering trying to cultivate a coffee habit (i've never been a coffee drinker) as a temporary means of coping, so that I can finish the projects that i'm involved in, stop missing important career opportunities and generally be more productive and active.

 

I have actually considered many other drugs to help, but after doing the research it seems like caffeine is the best for my situation. The reasons for this are manifold, but i won't get into them here, I don't want this thread to be apologetics for addiction.The question I want to put on the table is this: What are the moral and mental health perils of replacing one dysfunctional behavior (depression) with another (addiction) for practical reasons? Put another way, what do we think of someone avoiding or repressing their true feelings for the sake utility? Sacrificing connection with their honest experience to meet needs lower on Maslow's pryamid? We tell adults with destructive behaviors that it was necessary for them to develop these as children in order to survive in a deranged family and/or society and that there is nothing wrong or bad about them for doing so, but what if someone is not a child, and consciously chooses this?

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Something to keep in mind: soda companies used to use cocaine in their sodas to foster addiction. FDA makes it illegal, they do research. Find that caffeine provides the same physiological and psychological addiction and begin to lace sodas with caffeine. You are proposing to take a highly addictive substance and make it even more addictive because you will have a special case of avoiding your anxieties and depressions (thus making coming down on the drug oh so much harder).

 

I would highly recommend solving the problem by addressing the problem and getting help from a therapist rather than avoiding and dissociating from yourself as the solution. This is a band-aid at best and very destructive behavior that turns dissociation into more addictive behavior than it already is. I would very much recommend against this unless it was prescribed by a therapist for a short time of crisis while you were under the care of professional help. However, I find this scenario unlikely.

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Morally, thre's nothing wrong with it, if you're not stealing the coffee.

 

Practically, I'd say that if you're working on the underlying causes and not use it as something you want to take for a specific purpose and limited amount of time, I don't see any problems with that either. 

My experience has been that a lot of substance use has declined as an automatic result of working through the traumas that caused them in the first place (without even being aware, that they might've been the cause), and since coffein is to my knwoeldge not something that causes irreversible brain damage, I don't see any harm in it. As a long time coffee drinker, I don't see how this would get you motivated to do stuff though either, but I don't see any harm in trying, if the alternative is not being able to function at a basic level.As Wesley said though, if you can have a therapist help you, that's recommendable, given the severity of the situation.

 

Either way, best of success for getting through that, sounds like you're in quite a horrible place at the moment.

 

btw Wesley, I don't see how you can call that "dissociative behaviour", it's not like coffee will emotionally dissociate you like, say, alcohol or other sedatives.

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btw Wesley, I don't see how you can call that "dissociative behaviour", it's not like coffee will emotionally dissociate you like, say, alcohol or other sedatives.

I think any substance could separate one from themselves. If he was about to feel something from his past become connected with a horrible truth, but then uses a substance to avoid the feeling, it could add to the dissociation.

 

I also listed this as a possibility, namely the worst end spectrum. The best end was a band-aid solution that will help for some time, but that the real issues should be addressed.

 

He also seems to not be planning on having a little coffee, but intentionally to use it as an addictive drug to avoid depression and anxiety. This is why the worse end is possible. Not necessary, or even likely. I do not know the odds, but I would say it is possible.

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Wesley, thanks for the clarification, though I don't see that's quite true, as different substances have different effects. Some diminish one's emotional experience, some enhance it, some don't do much either way. As I understood him, he wants to use it more as a sort of energy booster, to get some projects done and don't fall in a pit of paralysation.

 

I guess, it would depend on the consequences as well. If he's so paralized that he won't be able to do his job, then what's the alternative? Go broke and sleep on the streets?

On the other hand, if it's just somethig like, that it postpones some carreergoal that could still be achieved a few years later as well (if that's still of interest then), then yeah, maybe going for caffein isn't the best idea, maybe instead try to cut down on working hours and take more time for yourself, if that's an option.On the other hand again, if it helps as a  basic energy booster, it can also help for having the energy to gain self-knowledge.

 

Well, lots of variables, maybe Elias can clear that up a bit, instead of us guessing :)

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 Hi Elias, I feel like i know exactly how you feel because i have been there and at times still struggle with the very same issues.

Speaking from years of coffee use, i can tell you that it helps me especially when i really need it.

I drink 16oz. lattes with 4 to 5 espresso shots and have at times got large ones 20oz. with up to 7 espresso shots.

I don't drink strong coffee drinks daily, but i do drink a decent strength coffee from grocery store daily. The only

thing to be aware of with concentrated caffiene shots is the crash, so i actually know about how long it will work for and to be

prepared to feel a bit of a crash for a little bit. U want to find coffee drink you like, and experiment with strength,

taste. Some people are sensitive to caffiene and you should try to use it responsibly bc too much can make you feel edgy,anxious.

So my coffee discovery actually started as a result of self medicating attentional and depression fatigue although i wasnt aware then.                   I just felt like it helped alot so to me the benefits were worth it. For me caffiene hasn't been addictive because of the caffiene itself,

because i dont want to feel wired most of the time. I specifically use it for wen i need to accomplish something. The other thing

it helps me with is journaling therapy, by enhancing your concentration, you also retain what you learn or ideas. lol! There's actually

more info i can share with u, but another time. ok good luck! :)

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I used to drink tea a lot. While not as bad on the caffeine front as coffee is, it still was a problem. I didn't realize it until I stopped, but it left me high strung and anxious. It actually hindered any rational thoughts and pushed me to be a bit paranoid. That's not to say now I don't have irrational thoughts or act unconsciously. More precisely, I am more aware of when I do when I'm not on caffeine.

 

Have you considered cold showers/ exercise/ and a good healthy breakfast lunch and diner? That coupled with plenty of sleep should give you a fair amount of energy. Go to sleep at a reasonable time. Wake up nice and early to go for a run or do some yoga or something. Eat breakfast and journal. Shower and go about your day. Be sure to plan so you go to sleep at a reasonable time again. Once you get in the habit, it's pretty amazing how much energy you'll have.

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