Please Critique my decisions and offer your perspective

[Coreforcruxes]

The Previous chapter in my life...in late 2010 (ish?), I quit my long time job because I expected a poor investment to pay-off. I moved in with my parents to help them renovate their home and await my financial windfall.Late 2011 i found stefans work and realized I was not the philosopher i thought i was and as time has gone by have been more and more realizing how much i needed to change about my life and self.in 2012 i accepted my windfall would never come and started looking to move out and get on with my life. in late 2012 and Having very little money I moved back to the city I had grown up in (where my old job was) and was going to help my best friend from youth start a business. within a month it was clear that business did not have a chance do to poor planning.So i moved in with my older brother to help him with a business he had just started, and to help with his newborn daughter. My Brother and i fought more and more and by july 2013 it was clear to me I had issues with my brother and we could not continue the business. 

...(a couple months gap me staying with my best friend and trying to figure on my best course of action, during this time I let my father know that I have issues with him which he did not respond to very well)...My current state: i am almost 30 years old.I live with an Aunt and Uncle who know i am in a state of disrepair and are very supportive. They apply little to no pressure and we talk pretty often. They would like for me to start an Organic Farm for them on some old family land provided its something I really want to do (< they stress that point). They want me to take some time and gather myself. I keep a pretty regular schedule and help out around the house which they are very appreciative for.my Aunt is pretty liberal, she and i have a history of waxing philosophical. She has experience going to therapy and still calls in once a week, so she understands alot of the things I bring up from stef's podcasts and is very pro-therapy. She is finacially sound and willing to support me now and in getting back on my feet.She mentioned today that she would be willing to send me to her therapist, but I hesitate becasue I am worried i might offend her if I don't like him or think he's not right for me.My life goal that effects all my plans:I have spent so long trying to find out what the truth or a good person is that now that I have a glimpse i only want to know and live more. By the end of a decade of healing, living and learning I want to be doing what Stefan is doing, living a good life and doing all I can to share real philosophy and live off the donations that provides.My current plans:I believe i have come to some intersting perspectives in my solo-philosphy and want to write a book about it presented as the work of a dilettante looking to reform. I will have heafty disclaimers to avoid any from taking it as real philosphy simply a creative work. I would feel terrible if i thought i had sullied true philosophical efforts.i want to write a short auto-biography; this will assit my therapist (when I find and go to one) and will be presented as a companion to the first book, to assist one in understanding how I cam to the conclusions that I did and why i failed to reach the philosophy i know I fall short of in theory and practice.I have told my Aunt and uncle of these plans and that if I found I was not making steady progress I would abandon them. I told them in the mean time I would look into Organic farming and think about whether I wanted to do it or not. They support me in this decisionOrganic Farming: I am looking into it and while I could see myself enjoying a life farming I have doubts about whether it could be self-sustaining, whether I can run a business, If they risk their money and time I don't want to let them down. Alot of it i find pretty neat, especially when it comes to aquaponics and keeping heirloom genetic strains more avaialble. I approach it from a luxury item perspective, not claiming with certainty that its better for you. I would also plan on expanding into fermented canned vegetables for (what I feel) are legitimate health reasons. But I have some doubts about whether Organic farming is good for the world:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5amLAMRQk5IPost writing/farming plans:whether I take up farming or get a normal Job I plan to Keep records of my progress of self-repair and share them with this community for any who are curious about humanity and to watch a timeline of self observation / repar. I feel the Auto-biography would be a great companion to this effort.when I can afford it, find and go to a therapist.eventually (while holding down a self sustaining career), i will start a blog/webpage that tracks my journey from reform-dilettante to philosopher. I will know I am a philosopher when i live and have built a life around my knowledge of truth.Here are some questions I have,Is it right that I live off of them while I pursue what seem to be flighty goals?I know i am avoiding a normal 40 hr work job/life. I know I do not want that If i can help it.i have never completed a large personal project in my life (I see this as a reason to abandon my writing goals).But I truly feel I have some valuable perspectives to share and even if its not well recievced I will have something to share with others i care about, the culmination of 30 years spent conflicted and relying on no other perspective but my own.Is Organic farming actually good for the world? even if it is not healthier simply because its luxury demand?How do i know that i want to be a farmer and not just avoiding a normal job?right now I keep myself on a pretty regular routine, I average a pack of cigarettes a week (if your not a smoker that is minimal smoking, most average a pack a day). i keep little notes (self observation) through out the day just to bulid up the habit and plan to find a recommended curicullum of journaling and note taking. Thank You very much to any who reads this novel much less comments on it. I have recieved so much from Stefan and this community and made my first donation today, only $15.I plan to add what I can at least once a month till i have a reliable income and can set up a regular amount. 

[wdiaz03]

I would get a job and work on projects on the side.

 

I like the idea of learning to grow my own food. specially if S$%^ is going to hit the fan like some predict.

 

My two cents

[MrCapitalism]

Would this video be of any use to you (yes he talks a lot from the perspective of a religious person but I think makes a good point)? 

[Josh F]

Organic Farming could be a valuable learning experience.  I would research successful business models in the organic market relative to the size of your farm.  If it is organic, it is going likely rot quicker, meaning you'll want to sell it locally, meaning you'll want to provide common local consumables at a comparable price.  For example, you may find organic tomatos economically unviable, and might find avacados suprisingly viable, or the opposite.  You might find avacados worth it, but not something people consume in the community. 

 

Where is the farm?  How old are you? Whats the budget?  How big is the farm?

[Coreforcruxes]

I would get a job and work on projects on the side.

 

I like the idea of learning to grow my own food. specially if S$%^ is going to hit the fan like some predict.

 

My two cents

 

Thank you for your recommendation. I Think what I am doing qualifies as long as i keep pulling my weight in the household and track my progress on my projects and stay reasonably within deadlines and goals.

Would this video be of any use to you (yes he talks a lot from the perspective of a religious person but I think makes a good point)? 

 He makes very good points, thank you for the recommendation, i spent 45 min skimming the video i will have to watch it again later.

 

Organic Farming could be a valuable learning experience.  I would research successful business models in the organic market relative to the size of your farm.  If it is organic, it is going likely rot quicker, meaning you'll want to sell it locally, meaning you'll want to provide common local consumables at a comparable price.  For example, you may find organic tomatos economically unviable, and might find avacados suprisingly viable, or the opposite.  You might find avacados worth it, but not something people consume in the community. 

 

Where is the farm?  How old are you? Whats the budget?  How big is the farm?

The farm would be rural, about 15 miles from a any decent sized cityI am 29 years oldA budget will be talked about only after I make a commitment to farm and come up with a planThe farm would initially be three acres, with access to 25 more I believe. The plan would be to research and experiment (market and method) initially expecting little to no return while a more educated stable business model were implemented.to mitigagte loss from undersaleing before nature claimed my goods, i would plan to get into homemade canned preserves ASAP, allowing me to prolong the shelflife of my goods and sale on the internet.GENERAL UPDATE:I should mention that i am not going to make any quick decisions based on this post. I am waiting for some thurough critiques and perspectives ( but I do of course appreciate all that I get). Thanks again all - please comment.

[34jake]

If you do the organic farm route, you can dedicate the winters (or however long the off season is) to writing your book! That being said, I would make sure to check with the local laws about food sales. Regulations have beome worse and worse and these days. Even roadside farmers markets are being shut down.

 

Anyways, That's a tough call, maybe you can visit a farm to get an idea of what the everyday work would be like. Then you can compare it to your past "real job" experience to see which one would be emotionally sustainable long term.

[Coreforcruxes]

If you do the organic farm route, you can dedicate the winters (or however long the off season is) to writing your book! That being said, I would make sure to check with the local laws about food sales. Regulations have beome worse and worse and these days. Even roadside farmers markets are being shut down.

 

Anyways, That's a tough call, maybe you can visit a farm to get an idea of what the everyday work would be like. Then you can compare it to your past "real job" experience to see which one would be emotionally sustainable long term.

Thanks 34jake, I will take it all you have recommended into consideration, some of it I had thought of already but glad to see I am not the only one these things seem relevant to.

[Hannibal]

Get a job and do your writing in your spare time, until you reach a point, if you reach a point, where you find you really need more time to write. Lots of people work a full week, look after kids, and renovate their house all at the same time. If you work and then write in your spare time you'll avoid the trap of potentially wasting a lot of time (I'm just speculating, but perhaps you'll struggle to find focus, etc - that doesn't matter so much when it's on the side instead of taking over your life). Plus you can pay the relatives more - I feel like doing that proactive work in order to support myself helps to keep me focussed, wheras in my student days the night and days blended together with no structure and I'm pretty sure the net achievement was less than if I had worked during that time.   Obviously you know yurself better than me : )

[Coreforcruxes]

Hannibal, Thank you I appreciate your feedback.For the time being i am critically watching myself to make sure i am being productive, and focusing on increasing that net productivity, i've noticed when i don't have a deadline i work with less of a sense of urgency, so I started setting deadlines.I have never embraced structure so I really want to set and keep my own boundaries and so far I am having success, enough to add more boundaries/goals and be confident i will live up to them.And my relatives are very happy with the work i do for them, it is satisfying. and interesting. Though they could feasably keep me busy for years (seriously) it is no lifestyle to plan a life around. So while I can take advatange of it to give myself the fluidity to work on self-repair for the moment I will eventually, need to develop a more consistent plan for income (Farming or Other).