STer Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 Wow this is really something: http://news.yahoo.com/scathing-obit-abusive-nv-mother-goes-viral-211215789.html "Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit," the obit said. "Our greatest wish now is to stimulate a national movement that mandates a purposeful and dedicated war against child abuse in the United States of America."
eeik Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 Yep, just read about this myself and thought to check in on the forums here to see what sort of chatter might be in progress... The chickens of the previous generation are coming home to roost with the current generation of 20 - 30 somethings and this is a great example of it. I'm fascinated by what may evolve here societally as the pervasive access to information counter to what the previous generation employed as "best practice" (e.g. spanking, defensiveness, making rules and excepting themselves from them, etc.) continues to snap individuals out of the blind acceptance of the past's nonsensical irrational behaviors. Holding ourselves responsible and accountable for our own actions is something that feels still like it's in its infancy with most folks but more and more I'm seeing glimmers of it manifesting in various ways in my own experiences. The zombie apocalypse is upon us as Stef has suggested in the past in the form of the "n-1" generation looking to cash in on the social security they're "entitled" and the sheer good will of the current generation towards them. Bound by the threat of aggression and force, many will continue to feed the insanity, but increasingly, I'm hoping at least, more and more will take a firm stand and hold generation "n-1" to account for their behaviors in their own lives. Ignorance is no excuse ... it's a fabulous self-delusional crutch ... and only a true apology (e.g. recognition of wrong-doing, some form of restitution, and a promise to cease the offensive behavior) will even begin to mend the damages done between "n-1" and *now*. Regarding the specifics of the article ... spiteful children perhaps? nope, doesn't feel like it ... feels far more like honesty in the face of abusive parenting. My thoughts though that I can't seem to shake agree with one of the recent comments on the article noting that "the best revenge is to live well". The creation of such a scathing obit *may* provide the short-term and self-congratulatory gain of "clearing the air" or "getting the truth out", however, the long term impacts both known and unknown on the children's lives are voluminous and ever-present from this mother. This sort of emotional written outburst can't possibly be coming from an individual that has made a considerable effort in the direction of self-knowledge and it shows how bitterly the adult children's anger has festered. Come on! do your self-work, extricate your mind and body from the dramatization, rumination, and indulgence in the "story" of your upbringing, seek out a positive supportive community of folks to surround yourself with, live well, love well, and create artfully. As with many stories these days ... great glimmer of progress towards honesty on a societal level, but so sad to see such venom surging into the world towards someone who's no longer present to experience it. Zero consideration for how abused the mother may have been seems to have been made in the text of the obit whatsoever which is truly sad as well. This is turtles all the way down sort of cycle of abuse that we, the current generation, are finally equipped to confront in our own lives and alter course for our own futures if we so choose. Confront early, confront often, and confront with compassion and zero expectations Thanks for starting the thread "STer"! What else can we tease out of this story?
NotDarkYet Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 "This sort of emotional written outburst can't possibly be coming from an individual that has made a considerable effort in the direction of self-knowledge" Are you sure about that? It seems to have had the intended consequence. What would have been a better obituary for this woman?
eeik Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 "This sort of emotional written outburst can't possibly be coming from an individual that has made a considerable effort in the direction of self-knowledge" Are you sure about that? It seems to have had the intended consequence. What would have been a better obituary for this woman? Ugh, far too many possible tangents to take this convo from here without being face to face, but ... given the scant information available to me at this time, of course I'm not *sure* however the anger and hurt that has been put into writing and shared with a room full of strangers is not something I'd expect to see out of someone who has worked through their trauma and has embraced the personal realities of moving forward. It is however exactly what I'd expect to see from someone very much trapped in the trifecta of dramatization, rumination, and indulgence. After being estranged for 30+ years, perhaps the obit could be something short and sweet such as --> "Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick has expired and our experiences while involuntarily in her custody have, through the 1987 legislation {insert link to text of legislation}, given future children (e.g. the most vulnerable *people* on the planet) some new footings in the foundation for the consideration they so desperately deserve in this insane world. Not a perfect solution to stave off all future abuse, but a great step in the right direction to help contain the multi-generational cycle of abuse that runs so deep. There will be no memorial service as we do not wish to cast any undeserved light on a woman that was herself surrounded by such terrible darkness. Donations are being accepted to further {insert making children equally people initiative of choice here} at {insert appropriate address}. The focus on the negative and the indulgence in the anger is simply attracting the type of attention that will help self-perpetuate the continued indulgence. Being the human being that lives well and has moved on to further creative endeavors is the story that furthers the, I would suspect, genuine desires of the children.
Coreforcruxes Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 "...movement that mandates a purposeful and dedicated war against child abuse in the United States of America."I am probably being too nit-picky here, but I cringed when I read this. I am of course all for a universal awakening when it comes to aggression in any form against children. But when the remedy is proposed with words and concepts like, mandate, war against, and of course the factionalism i associate with the United States of America. The masses, are so prone (almost inevitably so) to over-correct I'd rather see a call to "wake up" be made in a sober and calm way relying on content of message to stir souls.Though, to regulate myself, If there is one subject that is bound to strike emotional chords (most justifiably), it is the knowledge of a childs suffering.
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