AKeinick Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I havent spoken to my dad in almost a year and thus neither has my nearly 7 year old year old son. The three of us used to spend a lot of time together. I havent spoken to my son about it really at all and Im just wondering how and what some of you might comminicate to him about it.
Ruben Zandstra Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I've told my children why I don't see my dad anymore, the plain truth, in an age appropriate way. There is the aspect of granddaddy being really nice to his children's children of course, which is especially wry if he's been treating you like crap most of your life. I've explained to them that to me he was quite different when I was their age, which makes it hard for me to deal with him now, because essentially he has not changed towards me. So when my children have a friend that I really like a lot and who has been around plenty of times in our house to the point where he has become a friend of the family, if they themselves stop liking him for whatever reason, it is their decision if their friend no longer get's invited to our house. It wouldn't be right if my preferences to keep inviting him would outweigh theirs, they would feel really shitty if a friend they have major quarrels with would be warmly received in their own house by other family members. In a similar way, I am the one whose preferences towards being with my Dad should be of the most weight. This principle was accepted after some thought. We've had various conversations like this, and though it is evident that there is a certain amount of genuine grief, loss, and being sad for granddad, I think the matter is settled.
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