LovePrevails Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Hi friends , can you please give me some feedback on this ad. I am thinking of droping some cash on featuring it and want to make sure I'm not wasting money on a poor text. Any suggestions on imrpoving the text welcome. http://www.gumtree.com/p/community/essential-communication-skills-for-enriching-your-life-relationships/1033626329 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I am interested as to what medium this ad will be. In many media, the attention span of the average target is less than a second, so I am just curious how/where this ad will appear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovePrevails Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 On that website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luminescent Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I think the text is strong, but has a few flaws. Here are the notes I made:- I like your emphasis on the word HAPPY in the first paragraph.- I would capitalize "Positive Communication Coach" to make it sound more official- For greater impact I would change "For example, there are 6 main reasons why people communicate, can you name them?" to "For example: There are 6 main reasons why people communicate. Can you name them?"- Uncapitalize "themselves" and move the "To" up a line. In other words: "And with a little help anyone can learn:" "- To Assert Themselves better " becomes "And with a little help anyone can learn to:" "- Assert themselves better " (That way it reads "anyone can learn to:" "- Assert, - Listen, - Ask, - Say, etc.")- Regarding "Listen in the way that is most helpful to the person talking (not always the same!)" I'm unclear as to what the "not always the same" refers to?- "or like they're pressure anyone" should be "pressuring"- "Connect with other peoples feelings" should be "people's"- "Have the maximum opportunity of resolving conflicts" I would change to "Have the maximum opportunity to resolve conflicts" or "Have the maximum potential to resolve conflicts" or "Have the best chance to resolve conflicts"- Add "..." in front of "and even start teaching these skills to their friends" (it then becomes "...and even start")- I would omit the extra blank lines before and after the bullet list. I think it will read fine without the extra lines. - "I am confident that with 4 sessions anyone can see massive positive changes in their social life, family life, romantic life or work life." I would remove the word "massive." No need to over-promise. - Keep the blank line before the endorsements -- very effective.- The endorsements themselves are a nice touch.There might be a few other things I would change to make it flow more smoothly, but otherwise I think it's a strong ad -- the structure of it is good, and I found the message to be compelling.(Let me know if you have any questions.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Just an aesthetic thing as I looking over the ad. There is a hanging word in the line "- Connect with other peoples feelings in a way that makes them feel understood and cared for " which slightly bugs me. I believe it is generally a rule that hanging words should be avoided whenever possible. @luminescent did a much better job than I could with the rest of it. However, that was the one thing I didn't see listed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovePrevails Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 thank you so much luminescent for giving such useful and specific feedback Wesley I don't know what a hanging word is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 It is a single word on a line by itself. -Imagine a really long paragraph or sentence that talks about something you are trying to advertize- then a hanging word. It just looks a little odd and is discouraged unless necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovePrevails Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 I have made according changes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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