The Zero Gravity Bounce Technique

[SeanBissell]

Hey everyone, 

 

I'm obviously new here (as of my post count.) 

 

And I'm also a new dad as of about 10 weeks ago. 

 

So... by incredible logical reasoning, I have a 10 week old kid now. And I'm a dude. And I listen to Free Domain Radio... And I'm typing... And I'll stop being stupid

 

Serious and weird question: (Seriously weird question?)

 

I don't want to stunt my kid's emotional growth. And I want to comfort him or get him what he needs when he's crying. 

 

At the same time, there are times when he is hungry, or just frustrated, and I can't actually *do* anything about his discomfort. Because sometimes my wife is in the shower, or she's doing something that requires about 5 minutes until she's ready to breastfeed. Or sometimes when he's frustrated (I'm assuming he's frustrated) I can't actually just "unfrustrate" him magically. 

 

So basically, there are times (although mostly brief) that he's crying and I can't get him what he needs. 

 

Mostly he starts out with a little whimper, and ramps up slowly. 

 

During that time I can bounce him, or put him against my chest, or hold his hand, or whatever to "sooth" him. And it works to a point. Sometimes he ramps up and there's not much I can do to stop him from escalating. 

 

At some point, he pretty much will get to full on yelling at *almost* the top of his lungs crying. 

 

There *is* something I've been able to do to stop him from crying, pretty much in its tracks. And that is to bounce him, not *hard*, but in a way that creates a temporary reduced gravity environment. It feels safe to me (I feel in control) and he's not jerking around. But he is almost weightless for a brief period. 

 

So far, he pretty much always stops crying completely at that point. 

 

And I only really do it the moment when he hits the "freak out" mode. 

 

It's bizarre and feels like it's almost a crying "off switch." 

 

But I worry, because sometimes he's totally cool with it, and other times he acts slightly scared. 

 

Either way he stops crying for about 10 seconds if I do nothing afterwards, or even longer if I bounce him slower afterwards. Eventually it ramps back up again, then when he freaks out again, then zero gravity bounce! 

 

Until I can get him his Mom, or something else. 

 

And here's the *real* question. 

 

If that zero gravity bounce gets him to stop crying, is it even *good* to have him stop crying?

 

I'm kind of thinking I may be not letting him express his discomfort. 

 

But I *do* let him express his discomfort, just not at "super freak out" levels. 

 

So I'm thinking, maybe I'm teaching him that freaking out is not productive?

 

Or am I giving him what he wants by bouncing him?

 

Or am I "inadvertently" punishing him by doing the zero gravity bounce because it's freaking him out?

 

It's super hard to read a baby's thoughts. And I'm conflicted as to it's a better risk to let him cry and freak out. Or is it a better risk to zero gravity bounce him to stop him from "freak out" crying?

 

I tried letting him "cry it out" last night while just resting him on my shoulder and patting his back and gently bouncing him. But he got so freaked out he started to lose his voice from crying so hard. 

 

It seems like the "easiest" option is to do that bounce technique. But I'm conflicted. 

 

Thanks for your input on this beast of a first post. 

 

Happy Thursday!

-Sean

[FreedomFanBoy]

Is it not possible to pump some breast milk and have some ready and waiting for times like these? 

 

From an non-Professional (unless you think being a parent is the most important job in the world, then I would have been in this career for two years now) I would say that it would be important to comfort him as his cries are a plea for help. He probably is thinking "the big person with the sometimes scratchy face doesn't know what he's doing! He is stopping the big person with booby food from getting here, and I need to yell so she can hear me!"

 

Try to have a bottle set aside in case of emergencies and comfort with slow left to right swings. Alternate, walk around, lay him on his belly in your arms, etc. I would be concerned if the up and down "anti-grav" thing would be too jerky, but I'm not there and can't see, obviously. 

Oh! And Congratulations! It's an amazing experience, being a father. 

[SeanBissell]

Thanks FreedomFanBoy! 

 

It definitely is not jerky But yea, it's hard to demonstrate that through text. 

 

Usually it's only like 3-5 mins. So getting a bottle ready would be probably just as long, or longer... 

 

Unless there's a way to keep one super quickly available at all times that I'm not aware of. Any ideas on that?

But speaking of videos...

 

As seen in this video, he does like to be bounced around a bit

 

[wdiaz03]

Hmm, The bounce doesn't seem natural, I would try something else.

[MysterionMuffles]

Yeah babies are still very fragile at that age, so it may not be safe. Maybe at 10 months, their necks are more in tact and what not. But hey man, welcome to the boards, thank you for being a very cautious and caring parent! We need more like you in the world and it's great that this is one of the first few topics you wanna talk about here. I don't have any solid advice other than just pick him up and hold him, let him know he's loved even for expressing his frustration. Just interact with the lil guy and show empathy, even talk to him in a soothing manner so he learns early on what kind of interactions you want him to be used to when he grows up.

Hmm...that video you posted kind of made me uncomfortable. At first I didn't even think that baby was real lol. I dunno...he doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as he should and that is some kind of dangerous way to handle a baby. Not saying that what you're doing is dangerous because I don't know exactly what you do, however in that video, that does not look safe at all. Babies at even one month are so fragile that that kind of shaking can rattle their brains a little bit and literally shake their shit up. I won't get too hard on the maker of the video, but that is an unsafe way to treat a baby of that age.

 

Maybe when they're a bit bigger and can express more easily if they enjoy it or not, then it would be fine.

I understand he was supporting the baby's neck throughout the video, but I dunno...some of those shots looked really unsafe to me. ANYWAYS enough of my pacifying hope I helped a bit.

[SeanBissell]

Thanks for the feedback guys! Much appreciated

 

Everyone seems more focused on the "safety" aspect. Which I agree is definitely a concern, regardless of what you're doing.

 

You want your baby/kid/loved-ones/etc to be safe for sure. 

 

I honestly *do* feel like what I'm doing is safe. 

 

And, no, I don't think a 1 month old baby is going to express happiness even if they are happy

 

Babies generally don't start smiling until they're about 2 months old. 

 

So in my mind, being calm and alert = happy at one month. 

 

That being said, I'm obviously concerned about safety. Maybe I should have been more clear on my part. The question I was trying to focus on is more along the lines of this hypothetical question below.

 

Question: If you had a button you could press that would make your baby stop crying, should you press it? Or should you let them cry and try "other" techniques to make them stop crying. And if you wouldn't press the button, why would you choose not to?

 

Happy Friday!

-Sean

[FreedomFanBoy]

Asking for a button to stop a baby from crying is like pushing a button to stop pain somewhere in your body. If you push it and don't treat the cause of the pain, you are doing your body a disservice and not treating the root cause, which could make the matters worse.

 

The crying is your baby's only way to communicate, learn the language. He's yelling at you for not understanding his needs.  

[SeanBissell]

What if his needs are to be soothed and bouncing soothes him?