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How often should one see their therapist, minimally?


OtherOtie

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I used to go once a month. I imagine maybe once every 3 months could even be alright. Any more to me would seem like they are not being kept in the loop of your condition. Heck, even public companies report every 3 months. That is just a thought on it. Then again it also depends on how severe your issues may be.

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That's true. I had a therapist about a year ago that I saw every week for a few months. Eventually narrowed it down to twice a month, and then once a month. At this point, I don't even see her anymore. I'm not sure how helpful she was. It got to the point where I wasn't very enthused to go, although it was helpful to an extent early on in the therapy. I couldn't justify paying that much money to see her.

 

But I really want to start looking for another therapist. I think I could do once a month, maybe even twice a month.

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I had done once a week (sometimes less) for the first year and then twice a week for the second and third. Once a week was good, but twice a week is better, at least for me. Luckily, I can afford that.

 

It depends on the kind of work you are doing. Some things require a lot of feedback from the therapist, and others you don't need as much. Some things feel impenetrable and being able to live with it and hold it for a few days can mean you can pick up more or less where you left off. Other things you don't need as much feedback on, but you need some pointers so that you can do your own self therapy.

 

If you were able to do the second kind of thing in therapy and then hopefully have someone to just listen for the first type, then that goes a long way.

 

As a general rule, the more frequent the better so that they are very familiar with your body language, verbal ticks and that sort of thing, and can pick up things faster that are off. Things that a person is not really going to be able to tell if they only see you once a month. They are more inclined to shrug it off like "oh, it's probably nothing" if they are less familiar that way.

 

I've heard of people providing sliding scales based on the frequency of the visits. Maybe you could ask about that?

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That would be a good thing to ask about, Kevin. Personally I don't feel that my problems are that "urgent" -- in that I don't have any pressing psychological issues that need to be addressed on a conscious level. It's the more subtle wounds that I want to explore and the level of self knowledge that I want to reach. I'm guessing once or twice a month would be sufficient for that end provided I do a lot of journaling and stuff on my own.

 

Do you guys know if it's standard to give a therapist homework -- in a manner of speaking? Like, if I were to provide a copy of my journal or outline my history for my therapist to get a better understanding of me, is it expected that they'll read it, or would that be considered something extra that a therapist may do if they're nice, but not required? Or is it on a case-by-case basis?

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That would be a good thing to ask about, Kevin. Personally I don't feel that my problems are that "urgent" -- in that I don't have any pressing psychological issues that need to be addressed on a conscious level. It's the more subtle wounds that I want to explore and the level of self knowledge that I want to reach. I'm guessing once or twice a month would be sufficient for that end provided I do a lot of journaling and stuff on my own.

You are probably right, but wounds can bring up some heavy stuff that is hard to work with by yourself. But if it needs to be more frequent, then you'll be able to tell.

 

 

 

Do you guys know if it's standard to give a therapist homework -- in a manner of speaking? Like, if I were to provide a copy of my journal or outline my history for my therapist to get a better understanding of me, is it expected that they'll read it, or would that be considered something extra that a therapist may do if they're nice, but not required? Or is it on a case-by-case basis?

I would imagine that it's a case by case basis. I always send dreams that I think are significant even if I never end up discussing them. It's not been stated explicitly in my work, but I just send whatever I think is significant and then don't have any expectation that it's being analyzed at any real depth outside of my time with her, but am pleasantly surprised when it has been given some real thought when I bring it up on the couch.

 

I've read accounts of early psychiatry where they would do a hell of a lot of homework going over their patient's (or client's) dreams, journaling and that kind of stuff. The field of psychology looks pretty different now though, I think.

 

I think that conversation itself could be a source of some good self work. Looking at the desires and hopes and expectations, and seeing what the actual reality is, and then what is your reaction? Is it hurtful, frustrating, relieving, not anything in particular?

 

I find a lot of value having these kind of conversations about the therapeutic relationship itself. There is often something in there that holds some kind of charge for me. Especially if you don't have any yearning burnings to talk about.

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It is rather simple that the more time, effort, sessions, books, etc you put into it, the more you get out of it and the more effective it is. 

 

I would very much like to +1 Stephen's post. If you can only afford a couple sessions, then it will be vastly better than no sessions assuming they are a good therapist, which unfortunately many are not. Definitely ask for homework and journal often and everything so that sparing sessions can be more effective.

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I think the frequency is going to be determined by your budget and how much you want to be there (and whether or not you still think you need it). If you aren't enthusiastic about going then that's a sign that this therapist just isn't working out and it's time you stopped paying. If you were enjoying therapy and getting a lot out of it I don't think you would be asking if you should go once a week or once a year lol.

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