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That abusive voice in my head. Now I see it as a part of me that actually served, and maybe continues to serve, a purpose. Seeing you treat it with respect seriously deflated its power. Seeing it as a part of me that I can listen to, but not necessarily obey, was something I've intellectually understood, but have never been able to do. Watching you do it was inspiring! You have no idea. 

 

I thought about it a lot today and still can't put it all into words. 

 

Dude, I can't thank you enough for this video.

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I'm sad to hear you had to internalize abusers throughout your life to keep yourself safe, but I'm glad you made it out alive.One of the reasons I made this video is so that people might see it and say "Hey, that's what goes on inside my head!" and not feel so alone. It sounds like I've reached my goal.You're welcome, thanks for watching and expressing your experience. 

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This was really interesting and entertaining. I love the layers of meta where you're discussing the implications of posting the video itself.

 

Perhaps you can turn this into a one-man show - or rather a multi-one-man show - and go on the road. Nice way to introduce audiences to IFS :)

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This was really interesting and entertaining. I love the layers of meta where you're discussing the implications of posting the video itself.

 

Perhaps you can turn this into a one-man show - or rather a multi-one-man show - and go on the road. Nice way to introduce audiences to IFS :)

The road?! The road??!! Lemme tell you something about the road!! If it weren't for the government there would be no road to go on!! 

I love STer's idea - wy not a Sephen Colgan show?

I'm not sayin' not. I'm makin' videos and my channel is under my name so...I think I've got a show. I have a list of video ideas and I'm sure more will brew up. One of my video ideas is "LovePrevails is a sex machine" ;)

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I find it very difficult to find any compassion for my inner critic. I get it intellectually that he exists as a response to protect my younger self, but abusive older siblings do shit like that too and I don't see how being compassionate in this way toward them is going to bring me closure and integration. Muslim parents in Saudi Arabia are going to teach their children that Allah is great and fill that child's mind with horseshit, and part of that is to protect the child if only unconsciously, but that doesn't excuse them.

 

My inner critic is like the biggest asshole I know. I can't wrap my brain around how I'm ever supposed to feel genuine compassion for him. We talk maybe once a month or less for not very long, partly because the timing is inconvenient and partly because I really dislike him. I don't completely block him out only because I'm concerned about the effects of repression. (Also, there is a little "cool" factor cuz I get to say that I've done mecosystem work).

 

I really don't understand that compassion thing. I'd love to hear how that works out for you (Stephen) or anyone else who takes this approach. Does it really help to integrate the good in that part? It felt forced when I tried it, and he called me out on that, of course.

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Wow that was very interesting and does sound familiar. Love how you emphasized the abrasiveness of that part. It was clear to me who was who for the most part, but near the end it seemed to have lost some steam. Understandable though it is tough to monologue (sorta dialogue) for a half hour. I would suggest being conscious of the tonality of your voice like you were near the beginning and middle, where the critic had a slightly higher pitch while you yourself of course spoke at a bit of a lower tone. Not too big of a difference, but also the fact that your inner-critic and self near the end started to sound more like, not in content, but in voice...perhaps...is the union of the IFS? I dunno. Overall though, thanks for more insights! It inspires me to do more of those IFS dialogues again like I did a lot of last month.

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4.56 - I want to ask inner critic why he wants to fuck you up

 

7.05 - I want to ask inner critic what he wants you to do instead

 

24.30 - I want to ask inner critic if his job is to keep me safe why does he criticize you for ..... can't finish the question

 

no more questions after that , nice to hear the critic giving you some kudos and hearing him share his own self-knowledge

"you're wack son, you're wack" - gold!

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I find it very difficult to find any compassion for my inner critic. I get it intellectually that he exists as a response to protect my younger self, but abusive older siblings do shit like that too and I don't see how being compassionate in this way toward them is going to bring me closure and integration. Muslim parents in Saudi Arabia are going to teach their children that Allah is great and fill that child's mind with horseshit, and part of that is to protect the child if only unconsciously, but that doesn't excuse them.

 

My inner critic is like the biggest asshole I know. I can't wrap my brain around how I'm ever supposed to feel genuine compassion for him. We talk maybe once a month or less for not very long, partly because the timing is inconvenient and partly because I really dislike him. I don't completely block him out only because I'm concerned about the effects of repression. (Also, there is a little "cool" factor cuz I get to say that I've done mecosystem work).

 

I really don't understand that compassion thing. I'd love to hear how that works out for you (Stephen) or anyone else who takes this approach. Does it really help to integrate the good in that part? It felt forced when I tried it, and he called me out on that, of course.

You've said a lot here, Kevin. Would you be down to have a voice chat on the topic with me? 

Wow that was very interesting and does sound familiar. Love how you emphasized the abrasiveness of that part. It was clear to me who was who for the most part, but near the end it seemed to have lost some steam. Understandable though it is tough to monologue (sorta dialogue) for a half hour. I would suggest being conscious of the tonality of your voice like you were near the beginning and middle, where the critic had a slightly higher pitch while you yourself of course spoke at a bit of a lower tone. Not too big of a difference, but also the fact that your inner-critic and self near the end started to sound more like, not in content, but in voice...perhaps...is the union of the IFS? I dunno. Overall though, thanks for more insights! It inspires me to do more of those IFS dialogues again like I did a lot of last month.

Inner Critic says "I don't need to be so loud when I feel I'm being listened to,"

4.56 - I want to ask inner critic why he wants to fuck you up

 

7.05 - I want to ask inner critic what he wants you to do instead

 

24.30 - I want to ask inner critic if his job is to keep me safe why does he criticize you for ..... can't finish the question

 

no more questions after that , nice to hear the critic giving you some kudos and hearing him share his own self-knowledge

"you're wack son, you're wack" - gold!

Inner Critic: All these questions are answered in the video. You need a Q Tip or something, pretty boy?

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Inner Critic: I don't get physical, I just talk. You're just looking for an excuse to take off your shirt, aren't you, pretty boy?

 

Next you'll be setting up different accounts on the forum so the different parts can post from their perspective in each thread :) Actually that would be kind of interesting.

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Lol that's hilarious. Though I don't doubt the validity of even trying that approach, as tedious as it would be. Probably would be easier to just write a play with each part playing a character (as opposed to a character playing a part in the traditional sense). Heh, I guess that's what all fictional writing really is. An examination of the IFS.

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That's pretty judgmental from the person arguing with his inner critic on YouTube! Just playing, I enjoyed it.

 

The answer is precisely none. It's just called imagination and humor.

Heh, gotcha.I noticed you got some negative reputation on your posts here. None of them are from me. I wonder why you were given negative reputation.Would the people that gave Ster negative reputation here please explain why? 

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Yeah my bad, Stephen. My inner critic was quick to judge this post: 

Yeah, maybe instead you'll need to create your own, separate forum where every user on the forum is a different one of your parts. Your Self can be the moderator.

 

as a passive aggressive response to when you said "that's a bannable offense." It was taking the situation more seriously than it should have based on a few threads STer has been on (particularly Thought Terrorist's empathy one) and got some down votes.

 

But then I scrolled up to read his first post in this thread and realized it was just a nice silly joke going on.

I would be the first one, don't know who the second would be. 

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Yeah my bad, Stephen. My inner critic was quick to judge this post: 

 

as a passive aggressive response to when you said "that's a bannable offense." It was taking the situation more seriously than it should have based on a few threads STer has been on (particularly Thought Terrorist's empathy one) and got some down votes.

 

But then I scrolled up to read his first post in this thread and realized it was just a nice silly joke going on.

I would be the first one, don't know who the second would be. 

I think I understand, MM. Thank you for taking the time to explain your experience and decision. 

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