Questioning your Therapist

[Anna K]

Hi Everyone,

 

I just started therapy and had 2 sessions so far. I started journaling as part of my homework, where I express my thoughts and feelings, but also try to figure out why I feel and think the way I do, which my therapist does not want me to do. She says I wouldn't know if I'm right or wrong, but just judging myself, and that's bad. 

 

I like my therapist otherwise, but this isn't sitting well with me. Why can't I think of reasons and roots of my behaviour, is it that harmful?

 

Another question is on my therapist's approach. It is eclectic, but she defined the sensory-motor and art therapy techniques for me (some CBT also), which I'm happy with. So far we've had the general session identifying my goals, and the other where I coloured my emotional map on a body as in where in the body I feel specific emotions and my homework is to think of triggers for each emotion. Maybe it's too early, but I feel like we're moving too slow and I'm not getting any feedback. 

 

I would appreciate any thoughts, thanks!

[Kevin Beal]

This is just my opinion, but a strong one

 

The way to get the most done in therapy is to bring up your honest experience of your therapist with her. What you don't want is to have things in the way of expressing your actual unfiltered experience. And if she responds poorly to your negative (or lacking in whatever way) experience of her then she may not be the therapist for you. If she responds empathetically, then you are going to build a lot of trust and know that when she offers her perspective that she is already aware of your reservations or skepticism.

 

Maybe I'm missing some important context, but so what if you're wrong or judging yourself? The important thing it would seem to me, is to be aware of what you think and feel and if you are judging yourself then that's important to know about.

 

There are therapists who will straight up tell their clients that family history is not what they do. Those therapists may be good therapists for all I know, but if what you are in therapy for is to understand the origins of your behavior and feelings, then you need to be sure that your therapist is going to help you in that area.

 

If it appears as if she's getting in the way of that or not helping or whatever else, then you have every right to question her on it. And getting clear that this is what you are looking for in therapy could yield some surprising results. She may have counter intuitive but important ways of going about that, she may make a connection in her mind and reorient her priorities, or you may find out that she's not a good fit for you.

 

In any case, more honesty is the solution. Building that trust quickly means you can more faster progress.

[Anna K]

Thanks Kevin, I'll bring it up with her in the next session

On another note, how do I get email notifications for these posts? I set it in the settings, but I didn't get anything- had to check manually.

[Kevin Beal]

Thanks Kevin, I'll bring it up with her in the next session

On another note, how do I get email notifications for these posts? I set it in the settings, but I didn't get anything- had to check manually.

No problem

 

There is a button on the top right (assuming it's not the mobile version) labeled "follow this topic". It has a couple options there. There is also a checkbox when you create a new thread at the top right again saying to notify me about new responses.

 

Also, what you can do is whenever you are on the boards, click on your name at the very top left of the page to bring up a drop down and choose "my content" which will show all the threads you've posted in and will be highlighted in bold text if there has been a response since the last time you checked it out.

 

It's not apparently obvious that you've gotten a reply to something you've written unless that person quoted you with a quote bubble. In which case you'll get a little "1" on the notification icon (the bell) at the top of the page (which you'll see since I've quoted you here).

[Anna K]

No problem

 

There is a button on the top right (assuming it's not the mobile version) labeled "follow this topic". It has a couple options there. There is also a checkbox when you create a new thread at the top right again saying to notify me about new responses.

 

Also, what you can do is whenever you are on the boards, click on your name at the very top left of the page to bring up a drop down and choose "my content" which will show all the threads you've posted in and will be highlighted in bold text if there has been a response since the last time you checked it out.

 

It's not apparently obvious that you've gotten a reply to something you've written unless that person quoted you with a quote bubble. In which case you'll get a little "1" on the notification icon (the bell) at the top of the page (which you'll see since I've quoted you here).

Found it!