I can relate to this guy on weed addiction

[Sashajade]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZplWWVUyH8&list=PLk1Sqn_f33Ks_DAG2PK4ja_UdzWtKVkMQ

[Pepin]

Personally, I love marijuana and can't help but talk fondly of it even though I quit. I can certainly accept that its affect on me is related to neurology generated via my childhood experience, but I don't find that changes my opinion on the experience, only my inclination to partake.

 

I have a super-fast thought process, and marijuana slows it down to the point where I can think. A big contributor to this is the relaxation. Another thing I really love is that introspection is so much easier as I gain access parts of my psyche that weren't accessible before. The guy in the video talked about how weed exacerbates parts of yourself and reveals more of your inner psyche, which is something I can see many people not enjoying, but I really love feeling the mechanics.

 

Though I must admit that I had a couple of odd times where it was like I experiencing all of my unconscious thought process, and that was a bit scary in the sense that it showed how the vast majority of my decisions are made with rather terrible reasons and rationalizations. I was a good bit younger during these experiences so I might actually like that now, but perhaps not.

 

The bad habit I get in is smoking way too much in a sitting and feeling just too tempted to get high when I can. Worst of all I think is all the money spent on drug, which is one of my biggest reasons for quitting. Honestly, I can't at all call it an addiction because I have proven many times that I can take a break cold turkey without any issue.

 

Granted I just rambled a bunch, Sasha, what part of the video do you relate to most?

[ThomasDoubts]

 

Though I must admit that I had a couple of odd times where it was like I experiencing all of my unconscious thought process, and that was a bit scary in the sense that it showed how the vast majority of my decisions are made with rather terrible reasons and rationalizations. I was a good bit younger during these experiences so I might actually like that now, but perhaps not.

 

Ditto.  On occasion, it was so clear what the thought processes were behind my general behavior.  It would make me incredibly uncomfortable, and feed a kind of general paranoia, i.e: do other people percieve this about me?  Am I really this retarded?  Look at me just bouncing aimlessly between stimulus and response.  Let me quickly distract people before they realize this, etc.  The experience was like downloaded by my subconscious, such that I would immediately recognize it anytime thereafter.  I remember well, an instance in particular, where I realized just how retardedly shallow some of my conversations were with a particular "friend", because he was essentially retarded, and I just played along/parrotted.  This was something I always knew intellectually, but the experience hit me in a powerful and emotional way.  Like I really absorbed the information and it's implications, rather than just being aware of it for a fleeting moment and then distracting myself from it.  It was SO unavoidable, and I felt ashamed.  I was getting no intellectual stimulation or reward, and that was so dissatisying, and it induced a revelation regarding my general dissatisfaction.   

 

I have no idea exactly how it works, but it just seems to soften bias/subconscious barriers.  I feel like it would help me get to the root causes and psychology behind an individuals behavior; like I could almost see into their soul (forgive the metaphysics).  My focus would be directed entirely on observation in social interations, rather than being actively and thoughtlessly engaged, or managing competing interests for my attention.  Sometimes I observe others, and often times I observe myself, but it's like I'm vacuuming up and analyzing data, rather than just "being."  With some effort massaged in a particular direction, I made some real breakthroughs.  If, and when I get into a habit of using regularly, is when it becomes destructive for me; like a self-medicating stupor to allow me to procrastinate without the rational corrective consequence of anxiety.  For me, building a tolerance introduces a problem of diminishing returns.  Used on occasion, I have found it to be a useful tool.  Used frequently, I have found it to be counter-productive. As much as I'd like to retest the hypothesis of frequent use, I think my experiential evidence is pretty strong. 

 

I would never call it addictive; scientifically, it's not.  People that make it a daily lifestyle, are just determined to avoid/hide, or are entirely too complacent or unambitious, in my opinion.  It's a medication that suppresses symptoms, and symptoms are simply diagnostic information.  What I find unique, is the ability to manipulate the experience with intent.

[Mishelle]

Thanks for posting this SashaJade and starting this interesting convo, I'm impressed with your replies Pepin and FR, well-described and written!

 

I've read with much interest on this topic for many years, along with books on addiction, and have much personal experience as well.  One of the best things I've studied on it is Don Beck's theory of Spiral Dynamics Integral because it deals with the issues from a much more universal perspective--how does the use of the drug fit into the larger social picture and what is the biological relationship -- he talks about cultural evolution, crisis and group dynamics and where the drugs fit in.  In one instance he uses the example of a football team he worked with (he's also worked with Nelsen Mandela--the film Invictus is about his suggested strategy for uniting South Africa).  I can't give the details now because it's been a couple years since I was looking into it, but I was very impressed with the way he was able to demonstrate the Bio-Psycho-Social interdependence inherent in drug use and addiction in general.  It was really fascinating and if you are curious it was in his downloadable online lectures of around 8 fascinating hours I'll happily repeat one of these days.

 

My personal opinion is that we self-medicate for a reason:  to "fix" a problem that is real, and it's not just an internal problem by a long shot.  I know that sounds overly-simplistic, but there's so much shame and denial in drug use that I think folks lose site of the underlying issue, it's not just "your" problem, it's an enormous cultural problem (associated with impending collapse or immense upheaval perhaps?)  that the drug addict is dealing with in a more appropriate way I think than those happily and blindly playing along with the social destruction.  They are skipping their way to the guillotine SOBER--OMG--how insane is that?!

 

That said I have been in real and immediate crisis and the first thing I did, quite naturally, was to immediately stop all drug use (I only use alcohol and cannabis at this point, but in my 20s and early 30s I tried most everything except heroine). Several of our uni circle went through rehab, a few are now dead from their excessive use of primarily cocaine. 

 

 Ideally we'd all be more like Stef--drug-free but still awake, and strong enough to face the dragon without crutches. Until then, being very aware of my limitations and realistic and moderate in my usage and quitting regularly for several months each year is the way I have managed it. 

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences, I appreciate reading them very much!