tomorrow night, my first time public speaking....

[Sven--starFury_flames--]

In a couple of days I'll be doing this little speech in front of an audience. It's a fortnightly event called the Village Circle that people in the local community here on the Gold Coast (queensland, australia) have organized. The kinds of people that have been coming might be said to have hippy-ish tendencies---into their organic food, permaculture, concerned about fluoride in their water, chemtrails, gmo-food, the general epic fail that is government, etc. (bit of a spiritual vibe in there too of course)... But I feel above all that they're just frustrated with the lack of any real solutions to the issues in our world.... It's only been happening for about 3 months so far, and I think we don't really know what we're doing, but it's a cool thing to be a part of and I'm looking forward to seeing how much philosophy I can inject into this space over time.... =)Each week there's someone from the community that speaks for about 40mins, then there's a raw vegan organic meal offered for $3 (that's probably less than cost price, most of the food being donated by local organic farms and made by volunteers)... Then the last 40mins or so people break up into groups they call 'solutions circles', these are more specific topics, so there's a permaculture group, an anti-fluoride group, there's a men's group that i've joined, a bunch of others...Anyway, though i've never done any public speaking, but I love these ideas that are the fdr conversation, self-knowledge/nap/rtr/upb, I love what fdr is about and I feel compelled to share this stuff!... So I just asked if I could speak for 5-10mins, told them it would be about communication and relationships and that's about it…So this is going to be fun =) It's awesome to be level 0 at something and begin the journey of progression…. Life: Next Chapter. <3-------I'll be saying something like this, I'd be very grateful for feedback from the fdr massive =)this is my first time doing any public speaking since high school… it's somewhat terrifying standing up here in front of you all, but i'm very passionate about these ideas i'm about to share with you and so, despite being ridiculously busy with the new business i've started with my beautiful partner, i decided to just go for it so here i am =)i've been coming to a bunch of these village circle meetings, and it's been so awesome to see people coming together to talk about such vital issues… in fact, it's awesome to see people come together to talk about anything that's not just sports or celebrities or politics or the weather---to talk about something real… so you guys are all awesome and thank you!…but i must confess that some of this stuff we talk about is really daunting for me, chemtrails, fluoride, GMO-food, vaccinations, ending the fed, oppressive governments all over the world, the monetary system, the encroaching police state, the fukushima meltdown---argh!, there's so much going on and even though i try and keep myself well-informed and especially with so much conflicting information, it's often hard to know just what what to think let alone what to do about it!….but i think all these topics have a common thread and that thread is 'freedom'… so tonight i'd just like to talk for a few minutes about an even more basic freedom, and maybe it's one of the most fundamental of all, and yet it's something that's attainable by all of us right now… that is the freedom to be honest, the freedom to have real and truly genuine one-on-one relationships…i mean, what use is getting the fluoride out of the water if we can't even have a real conversation with the ones we love ?...it's so important to be able to show our true selves to people, without masks, without walls, without telling them what we think they want to hear... just perfectly open communication channels such that we can explore ourselves and each other without fear...because i believe that honesty is intimacy… and that, in the absence of honesty, there can be no relationship but only fog and illusion…but with the ones we love, those people with whom we believe we have a deep and genuine relationship, if we can't be honest, then we have to ask ourselves why that is, what's stopping us…?are we afraid of how they'll react ?… afraid that they might judge us in some way ?… or maybe we know exactly how they'll react and we're avoiding that knowledge… maybe we're seeking comfort in the illusion…but that's not how i want to live, i want to live in reality...so tonight i just want to share something i've learned, it's like the ultimate way to discover if you have a real and genuine relationship with someone… the ultimate way to talk about something real…and that is simply to honestly report your feelings in the moment… i'll say that again… to honestly report your feelings in the moment… and that's it.so if you're feeling angry… you say "i'm feeling angry"… and that's it… but you say it without judgement, without assigning a cause, without demanding something be done about it… just say it in the spirit of honesty and vulnerability and from a place of curiosity, invite the other persons empathy and explore the emotion together…that's how we can gain objectivity on ourselves, that's how we can gain self-knowledge…because maybe the emotion is appropriate, maybe it's not… maybe they'll be surprised, maybe they knew it all along but were afraid to bring it up… maybe they'll be honoured that you'd share that with them, maybe they'll recognise the strength it took to be vulnerable in that way, to have shared your true self with them...i like to call this Real-time Relationships…and there's such immense power in this, because no one can ever challenge you on that, no one can dispute how you feel inside…and if the person you're talking to has empathy and is genuinely interested in you and your well-being they will be curious and ask why… they'll want to explore that emotion with you, discover where it comes from...i believe relationships are like celestial bodies orbiting one another… but there's no such thing as a stable orbit and either we're getting closer or we're drifting apart---and honesty brings us closer… in a universe of constant change there is no standing still, either we grow together or we grow apart… either we evolve or we dissolve…so it's a matter of putting your feelings out there, which can often be a scary thing, especially for us men who are so often taught that being "strong" means hiding our emotions… but that's wrong, hiding emotions is a weakness… and we should never need to hide our emotions from the one's we love…and it's so important to do this in the moment as the feelings begin to arise… because whatever we don't express will end up getting repressed and eventually, as time goes on and the pressure builds there'll be an emotional explosion which serves no one…of course, it's easy to tell someone you're feeling happy or feeling good… but to tell someone you're sad or depressed isn't so easy…carl jung wrote that "The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering"…so don't hide your suffering, express it and experience it, set it free...and that's why it's so vital to teach children about emotions, particularly to give them names for emotions so that they can express their feelings with their words rather than having to act them out… give them the ability to tell us they're angry or frustrated instead of having to throw a tantrum...and sometimes we don't know how we're feeling, or we're confused or we don't know what to say… but this still applies… it's ok to say "i'm feeling confused", "i don't know what to say", "i'm scared", "i need help"… and then to be open and vulnerable enough to explore the reasons why…and of course all this comes back to the highest value, and that is self-knowledge… like the famous inscription in ancient greece at the oracle at delphi: "know thyself"…and that takes empathy and a deeper connection with ones' true self… who am i ?… how do i feel ? and why ?……finally let me just say that we don't owe everyone we meet total honesty and when the person at the checkout at the servo asks "how are you?", there's no obligation to be 100% honest….as my favourite living philosopher likes to say: "the truth is not a sword to be drawn at all costs"but please, please, be honest with the ones you love, share with them your true self, remember that honesty is intimacy and it's the best and only way to grow together… have empathy and encourage it in others by being curious about them… and above all: know thyself.much love and thank you all ! =)

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Hi Sven, I'm listening to you talk live on the FDR radio right now. I am excited whenever I hear someone from Australia call in to the show and so I searched for the topic you created and talked about.

 

I know a little something about public speaking, I've been doing toastmasters for 2 years and you can see some of my public talks online here: http://www.youtube.com/user/LoveLifeAndAnarchy - I have some pointers for you.

 

Because this is your first time public speaking, I recommend keeping it very simple. You will most likely be nervous and your main efforts will be placed in feeling comfortable on the stage, and appearing natural in your speaking. Content comes second to presentation. There's a lot of elements to public speaking and you cannot be expected to do well without practice and experience on your first try.

 

Here are my thoughts.

 

Lose the opening paragraph:

 

"this is my first time doing any public speaking since high school… it's somewhat terrifying standing up here in front of you all, but i'm very passionate about these ideas i'm about to share with you and so, despite being ridiculously busy with the new business i've started with my beautiful partner, i decided to just go for it so here i am =)"

 

And open with the second paragraph right away. It's must more stronger, relevant and will get peoples attention right away.

 

There is a lot of emotional content in this speech which is probably good for your audience and they will appreciate that. Saying that, I think your biggest issue is that it's wordly and floaty in your message. Doing a speech tomorrow night is not much time to prepare or rework. I'd usually recommend you coming to a toastmaster meeting (there's a few near where you live) and see how it's done to get some experience. But because you're new, there's no time for that.

 

The most pressing issue about your speech is that you need to organise it better. It needs an opening which will introduce your topic, the body which you will talk about real-time relationships and why it's important in a few points. And then the conclusion which will be the paragraph summarising the body. Doing it this way will be easier for you and your audience to follow, and it will structure your speak to make it more professional. Other than that, rehearse rehearse rehearse.

 

Good luck!

[Sven--starFury_flames--]

That's really appreciated, thanks for taking the time to respond =)

 

Incidentally, why is it that you get excited when someone calls from Australia---or are you just a fellow Aussie ?...

 

So I intend to focus on my delivery being slow, slow, slow... I'll be concentrating on keeping my breathing steady and deep. I guess if you heard me on the call just now, there was a torrent of words and I'm sure I came across as rushed and somewhat confused... Nerves played a part and I also didn't want to waste Stef's valuable time---tho alas it seems I wasn't all that succesful on that count! =/

 

I do believe I'm much better with my focus when the topic is something I have clarity on instead of this intensely emotional and personal issue...

 

Re. the first paragraph... I felt that, by telling people I was nervous/excited/etc that this was actually demonstrating the whole idea of honesty in the moment about emotions... In a way that is introducing the topic... Otherwise I do realize that, to a certain extent, I'll need to feign the confidence even if i don't totally feel it---fake it 'til you make it, right ?...

 

Also, it's definitely short on time for me (even if I hadn't put it off 'til a couple of days before), my partner and I are both putting everything we've got into the business but this was still important to me, I am really passionate about these ideas... So I only gave myself a couple of weeks, and that was self-imposed too, it was up to me when I did my talk but I just wanted to throw myself into it, otherwise I'd keep putting it off... And like I said in the call-in show today, I've always needed the impending time-pressure to really motivate myself to do something...

 

I definitely take your point about intro, body, summary... I'll rework it a bit tonight...

[powder]

Good for you Sven, congrats!  All the best.  Man, I would love to go to those gigs with all that vegan raw food...  

[Sven--starFury_flames--]

I did end up doing a 2nd talk, more self-knowledge & honesty and also about my experience with journaling and how I helped rescue myself from depression....

 

Feel free to check it out and I'd value any feedback, this was the second time I'd done any public speaking =)