[Music] Eminem - Headlights

[RobG]

I thought I would start a discussion here about one of Eminem's recent songs from his new album because it has some themes that are relevant to the topics Stef often covers on FDR and I'd like to get this community's thoughts about it.

The song is called "Headlights" from Eminem's new album, Marshall Mathers LP 2. I wont paste the lyrics here because they do contain coarse language, but you can read them over at Rap Genius. I also wont share the song itself, obviously, because it's copyrighted.

As the title of the album suggests, it's a sequel of sorts to his critically-acclaimed and commercially-successful 2002 album, The Marshall Mathers LP. Each song on 2013's sequel is not a direct sequel to songs from the 2002 original, but there are many references and allusions to songs from the original Marshall Mathers LP. "Headlights" could be considered a follow-up, ten years on, to "Cleaning Out My Closet" from 2002. That song was about his mother, who he has referenced many times through his music, making his abusive relationship with his mother very public. I can share this song because it is hosted on YouTube by Eminem's official Vevo channel (and is censored, so no language warning on this one).

There are many other songs in which Eminem references his abusive relationship with his mother, especially from his earlier work. Yet, after everything he has ever said about her in his music, in 2013's "Headlights" he essentially forgives her. I find this interesting, and I thought this community would too, as Stef has often talked about whether it's healthy to forgive abuse and the important at being angry about your abuse so you wont repeat it. Here are some lyrics (that don't contain coarse language).

 

 

 

I went in headfirst

never thinking about who what I said hurt in what verse

my mom probably got it the worst, the brunt of it

but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?

Cleaning out my closet and all them other songs
But regardless, I don't hate you cause ma,

you're still beautiful to me, cause you're my mom

 

Here Eminem essentially says, "I still love you because you're my mother." This is that old idea that you are supposed to love your parents, and respect your parents, for no other reason than they are your parents. They don't need to demonstrate virtue, they just needed to conceive you.

 

 

 

But ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan yo

All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both

 

Nathan is his brother who, earlier in the song, Eminem explains was taken away from their mother by the state. But he forgives her, apparently, and so does Marshall. Because she, "did her best," which is something I'm sure will frustrate many of you to hear. 

 

I like the song. The Rap Genius website I linked to above noticed a similarity in the sound of the beat with John Lennon's "Mother," which I hadn't noticed but makes sense. It's very nice, musically, and Eminem's rapping is very emotive. If I had never listened to an FDR podcast I probably would have thought this song was a very nice sentiment. He's apologising to his mother despite everything they've been through, how lovely. Which is exactly the general response I've seen to this song. But I'm sure the community here would have a different view of it, so I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

 

I think the worst error Eminem is making with this song is thinking that forgiving his mother has something to do with maturity. Maturity is a big theme on this album. It has to be, given that he's doing a follow-up to an album he made in 2002, in the early years of his career. He's ten years older now, he's been through drug addiction, rehab, and is now in his early forties. A lot of this album is looking back on that 2002 material as a man who has matured by ten years. I think "Headlights" is Eminem trying to be mature about his 2002 hit, "Cleaning Out My Closet," and forgiving his mother rather than publicly calling her out for the abuse he received as a child.

[LovePrevails]

thank's for posting this, I remember when this single came out having a conversation about my mum with it because she thought it was terrible that he would forgive her and said she wouldn't see her granddaughter or be at her funeral

 

and I was arguing for him

 

ha the projection if only I saw how much my empathy with eminiem really mean

[RobG]

Just to add one more thing, there is a line in the second verse of "Headlights" that goes: "all the medicine you fed us and how I just wanted you to taste your own." In a song from his 2009 album Relapse, titled "My Mom," Eminem says: 

 

Valium was in everything, food that I ate

The water that I drank, ****ing peas on my plateShe sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak

 

The title of that 2009 album, Relapse, is a reference to his addiction to prescription drugs, such as NyQuil, Valium, Vicodin and Ambien, as mentioned on the song "Deja Vu" from that album. This addiction was obviously caused by his mother's abuse. Not only did he witness his, "momma poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen," as stated on "Cleaning Out My Closet," but she put the same pills he would later become addicted to in his food. That's horrendous. Is this what Eminem means when he says his mother "did her best"?

 

Do you think it's healthy for Eminem to forgive his mother for that, as he did in the new song "Headlights," and is it healthy for his fans to receive the message that you should still love your mother because she's your mother even if she force fed you prescription pills as a child?

[American_Crow]

He has exposed his own daughter to massive dysfunction, he admits to that in his songs. I suspect that he's beginning to realize that if he maintains his precedent of calling his mother out on her abuse, then his daughter is entitled to do the same regarding himself.

 

To me, becoming more mature would involve taking full responsibility for the ways in which he has exposed his daughter to the dysfunction and abuse that he got in his own childhood and to sincerely apologize to her for that, and to pay for as much therapy as she needs. That is the approach I take as a father. To "forgive" his mother and claim that she "did her best" is far more akin to letting himself off the hook. I was always able to excuse my own abusive behavior until I stopped letting my own parents off the hook. In his case he took his abusive mother to task while continuing to expose his daughter to dysfunction.

 

Not that I study his life closely, if there's anything I got wrong I'll stand to be corrected.

[Jot]

2 weeks after Slim Shady LP came out (1999) in an interview with Howard Stern Em said that he still loves his mother (though hates his father) but then in 2000 and 2002 in songs such as Cleaning Out My Closet and Marshall Mathers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg3yi6RLX0Q he lets his true self speck for him. I don't know if Headlights was just a restitution song for his fans(he was severly criticized for Cleaning out my closet) but I think that in his heart of heatrs Eminem will never forgive his mom.