Mental Health Problems

[EricInAlabama]

Hi,

 

I wanted to discuss some mental health concerns I've been having, particularly personally relevant, but also more general that many people in my situation may be able to relate to.

 

I was diagnosed bipolar about 8 years ago. I had a severe manic episode after coming off of Lexapro, and was hospitalized for 3 weeks and started on a regimen of mood stabilizing drugs to maintain balance. I put my faith in whom I considered to be experts in this field, out of fear that what happened would happen again, and have recently begun questioning their opinions after consideration of bias, incentives from big Pharma, and potential health risks I may be looking at long term. I have noticed over the course of my life post diagnosis that I have periods of extreme depression but never experience the manic side. Sometimes I feel at an even keel, but I don't know if the meds are responsible for helping to keep me from going manic, or if they are responsible for the depression and general lethargy that happens so much, or both, or neither. I've asked doctors about the possibility of being misdiagnosed due to the suspicion of having my manic episode following a change in my med routine, a drug induced or drug related manic episode, from antidepressant to med free. I've recently discovered research about antidepressant withdrawal symptoms, which can include mania as according to one particular article, and escitalopram (Lexapro) was one of the meds studied.

 

I'm concerned about staying on my medicine long term due to health risks (namely, diabetes, liver problems, and cognitive decline over time), and the mysterious nature of drugs like the ones I'm on, seeing as how little research has gone into their long term effects or even in their biological efficacy. I'm also concerned about whether I will even be able to stop taking it at this point, if I am addicted to them and my brain is dependent on them after being on them for so long.

 

My doctors seem to be dismissive of my concerns, and seem intent on keeping me medicated but I don't know if their recommendations are fueled by bias, from the current mental illness paradigm, or if this paradigm is accurate or credible, or for all intents and purposes, a self fulfilled reality for me at this point. I recently saw Stefan's discussion with Robert Whitaker about the risks of being thrown into the bipolar camp after drug induced episodes, and was intrigued, though also quite troubled at some of the implications of this talk.

 

I was wondering if anyone had any advice, recommendations, experience, or knowledge/expertise in this area. I don't really know who to trust, and quite frankly, I am terrified of the long term effects of the medicine I am on, but also of the potential short term results from discontinuing my meds. Anything could happen, and this frightens me. I want to be right about not being sick, but I'm not sure if it's wishful thinking. I'm trying to find others who are willing to consider the other side of the story, it seems so one sided in psychiatry. So I'll open the discussion with this.

 

I am on Abilify, Lamictal, and Wellbutrin XL, if this helps. Thanks for your help and insight in advance.

[Tony Crowe]

Eric,

 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It breaks my heart to hear that. I think it's quite amazing how, even after being drugged long term, there's a side of you still awake and questioning if it's the right thing to do. Huge kudos!

 

Who can you trust? I don't know. When I was going through rough times like that everyone around me was no help at all. If the fire of curiosity still burns in you it seems like you have a very powerful ally in there.

 

I'm sorry I don't have any drug-specific information. I just wanted to express my concern and sympathy for such a hard trial you're enduring.

 

-TC

[Tyler Durden]

So, to be clear: you were on antidepressants 8 years ago, then you got off, then you got a manic episode, then you got diagnosed bipolar, and since then you've been on several meds for your supposed bipolar disorder?

 

Let me just throw out some of my thoughts and hopefully they're of use to you.

 

First of all, my biggest problem with the people who get you hooked on these meds is that they treat every single problem as if it's chronic. You experience a real problem, whatever the cause may be, and they tell you that they have the cure. Namely: just take these meds from now until eternity. That's not a cure! That's just suppressing the symptoms in way that is profitable to the industry. That's like saying to someone with a broken leg that he should sit in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and make sure to switch to a newer model every year. And it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because the longer this person sits in a wheelchair the weaker his muscles become and meanwhile his leg is still broken, so it only becomes harder to start walking again. The whole idea behind medicine is that it is supposed to cure you. You get sick, you take medicine, and you get healthy again so you no longer need the medicine. That idea seems to have been completely forgotten in the psychiatric drug industry.

 

I mean, you were on antidepressants first so I assume that you were depressed before you started taking meds. In my opinion, depression is simply the result of an environment that provokes negative emotions and a learned habit of suppressing those emotions so they build up inside you. I believe that most, if not all, cases of depression can be cured by a combination of removing the negative elements from your environment, exercising, talking and/or writing about your thoughts and emotions and thereby also reactivating other natural ways of your body to release tension, such as crying.

 

But that's not what they tell you, they tell you to just take these pills and all will be fine.

 

And then, when you get off those antidepressants you have a manic episode, or in normal words: you acted strange. Which is actually not that strange at all since you had been on drugs for I don't know how long and you suddenly got off them. Of course you need time to readjust to living life without meds, and of course you're going to exhibit strange behavior during that time. That's only logical.

 

But instead of seeing that for what it is, a direct result of the drug dependancy that they caused, they decide to look at it as another problem of yours for which they have the "cure": you're bipolar. And all you need to do is just take these other pills from now until eternity and never ask questions again, and you'll be fine.

 

That's the way I look at it. I'm not a big fan of meds as you may have noticed.

 

Now what I would do if I were in your situation is get off these meds on my own by gradually lowering my intake, meanwhile acknowledging that I've been on them for almost a decade and preparing myself for a bumpy ride which may last over a year and at times may feel extremely unpleasant and scary. But that's me, and that's the style I prefer.

 

I don't advise you to do it like that, because I don't know that much about you and it would be irresponsible advice. But what I would advise you to do is find a therapist who is into talk therapy and not into meds and who is willing to guide you through the process of getting off these meds and getting your shit together again. It may take some effort to find a good therapist who is willing to do this, but this is not a trivial matter so I would spare no expenses.

 

I wouldn't trust any of the people that are currently in your environment to help you get out of this situation. Not because they're necessarily bad people, but they're just not motivated enough, otherwise they would have done something already.

[EricInAlabama]

Thanks for the replies. I am in the process of getting a second opinion. I'm lucky to have found a good therapist who is committed to my success, but were working on finding a psychiatrist who is willing to join the team, to serve as a professional monitor during my detox.

 

What I think I need that I do not have much of right now is a sense of community. Unfortunately I am in an area where I don't have much of a support network, rural alabama is not for me. I need to relocate but I want to get this sorted out before such a major transition. Perhaps FDR can serve as one outlet for me in this regard. There is basically a 3 step priority list right now, which is to resign from a stressful job, detox and assess where I'm at, and then relocate. I'm early in this process, but I am making progress slowly but surely.

 

I'm just trying to find a community that holds the same mindset as me, one that believes that there are no quick fixes, but with a good work ethic and healthy support, something like this can be overcome. What I have seen stefan talk about and the intelligent and open minded community that he seems to draw gives me a sense of confidence that this community is out there, I just have to get my situation sorted out and find out where to go to find it.

 

Thanks again for the replies Tyler and tony. My mind is still in here, Its just been kind of muffled for a while. Hopefully with a good, grounded, rational community in my life again to use as an anchor on a regular basis I will make it past this stage in my life and use it to find more insight about myself and the direction I want to go in life.

 

Eric