Has Stefan done any podcasts/videos on hoarding?

[annamoo]

My father in law is a hoarder. I would like to try and understand what is behind it. He cannot throw anything away because he thinks "he might need it" in future, or it's "too good to throw away". I have suggested he use ebay to get rid of it or FreeCycle but he procrastinates and doesn't do that either. He cannot get into his own garage because it is full of stuff he doesn't need. He cannot get into his own bedroom because of piles of unused stuff everywhere. He sleeps in a small back bedroom.

 

He talks about doing all kinds of things in his life, but never does them. He just talks about it in a wistful way.

 

I would like to understand causes, has Stefan addressed this with anyone? I would like to listen to the podcast or watch the video if he has.

Thanks!

[Kevin Beal]

I don't believe that there are any podcasts on this topic, but I've known a few hoarders myself and I have a theory that may or may not be of help.

 

When I used to babysit a lot in my teens, I noticed that often toddlers act like hoarders in that they never want to get rid of anything and they see value in things that aren't really very valuable. We kept a large cardboard box around far longer than we should have imo.

 

I've also noticed that when you try and take these things away or trick them by distracting them in order to take it away, they really intensely dislike it. It seemed to me that the ones that had the hardest time with it were the ones where this desire of theirs was least respected. They fought to keep the twig from outside more when they didn't get to keep twigs as much.

 

Based on the intensity of their responses, it would seem that as a toddler getting your beloved toy taken away is as painful as someone taking my car away from me.

 

I'm not any kind of expert on child psychology, but I would imagine that this "mine!" stage serves an important purpose (or why else would it be there despite it annoying parents?) and if a child doesn't get their way often enough it can get in the way of developing past that stage.

 

That term "arrested development" I think applies here. I think that I've even seen that wistful expression your father-in-law had on toddlers I've babysat.

 

People can be regressed in that way in only very limited areas and only part of the time, but it can regress all the way back to infancy in many cases (the vaguer and more omnipresent the emotional experience is is a good indicator of this).

 

I have my own areas where my development has been arrested and I'm a relatively healthy guy psychologically speaking. So it's not meant as any kind of criticism of your father-in-law, and of course I may be entirely full of doody

[wdiaz03]

My father in law is a hoarder. I would like to try and understand what is behind it. He cannot throw anything away because he thinks "he might need it" in future, or it's "too good to throw away". I have suggested he use ebay to get rid of it or FreeCycle but he procrastinates and doesn't do that either. He cannot get into his own garage because it is full of stuff he doesn't need. He cannot get into his own bedroom because of piles of unused stuff everywhere. He sleeps in a small back bedroom.

 

He talks about doing all kinds of things in his life, but never does them. He just talks about it in a wistful way.

 

I would like to understand causes, has Stefan addressed this with anyone? I would like to listen to the podcast or watch the video if he has.

Thanks!

 

Podcast 2504 Wednesday show briefly mentions hoarding at 2:36:35 as part of a caller's dream analysis. It provides some good points in my opinion.

[Alan C.]

I started a thread on compulsive hoarding a few years ago which you mind find interesting.