Knowing ourselves... from the outside

[Armitage]

Hello.

I'm watching Stefan's video How to meet a nice girl.

Lots of good advice in it. I especially like the point how we have to know ourselves in order to tell what kind of girl do we look for. However, I think the problem is, that knowing ourselves internally is not the same thing as knowing ourselves externally.

 

All social interaction (except the net) happens externally. We can have nice emotions on the inside, but we need a way to express them outside. We can be happy inside but really unhappy at outside relations and events. The trick to be attractive is to be happy, but also to know how to show it, so others are attracted.

 

We introspective types may know how we tick. But we can be so submerged in ourselves that it goes far beyond mere self-centeredness, it's self-submersion so that other people become unreal and the self is lost out of sight. The internal self is an ocean for the fish of our daily consciousness and the external self is totally unrealized.

 

How do we look from the outside, is not something we are used to seeing. Only if someone did make a film about ourselves. But that would be like when someone records our voice and we think, "How comes I still have any friends?" Well, I suppose that must be so with the whole external persona.

 

Of course, emotions are the key. Emotions, emotions, emotions. No relationship happens without emotions. Intellect's way of engagement is lie one-off lightning discharge, it's not a steady cohesive social field, metaphorically speaking. It doesn't bond. Trouble is, we intellectual people tend to have emotions as the intellect - a strike of lightning and nothing in between. That needs fixing too and I'm workign on it. But another problem is the external display of emotion.

 

How can we become aware of our persona EXTERNALLY, EMOTIONALLY PUBLICALLY? By interaction. All awareness is developed by interaction. But how? All interaction needs other people. And there must be something to begin, some kind of framework. Without it, we are like locked out of our own house.

 

I hope Stefan's video makes it more clear, because this is probably not intelligible, unless you're dealing with the same problem. Good luck and may god* have mercy upon us.

 

 

 

*) The Great Flying Spaghetti Monster