Unneccsery pain?

[Anuojat]

Hello everyone, new to the forums but I though I should post a very important topic of mine here, hopefully this is the right section.

 

So here is my case:

 

I feel very stressed and confused with all the libertarian videos and this includes Stefan’s. I find myself in quite a dilemma, for all the insightful and good information stef and other provide I find new information merely adding to my stress and pain and more I know and more I learn the less reason I see to care about certain things.

 

Some might find this silly or even bizarre but I simply cannot see any reason to add to what I already accept and the moment I try to bring this information to the rest of the world threes nothing much other than stress and painful endless argumentation going on. I cannot convince anyone, every time I do try I get so stressed I can’t sleep until I get response and frankly all this negative doom and gloom (real events or/and fear of them) push my energy low and my apathy higher.

 

Does it seem that I am just being over reactive to bad news? Or does it seem like case where I try FOOLISHLY to be the atlas and carry world’s troubles on my shoulders and eventually just collapse? I want to live my life but I don’t want to live in this endless cycle that 100'% wasteful and unnecessary.

 

Please, if anyone has had similar experiences, any help would be appreciated. I naturally want good mental condition and good life as much possible but I do not want to feel like lazy bum for not trying to change people’s minds and being philosophically static.

 

However I feel my sleep, health and just overall STUFF that happens in normal everyday life has alarmingly faded in place of worry and constant anger at peoples idiocy and ignorance.

 

My thanks beforehand, Anssi J.

 

However i feel my sleep, health and jsut overall STUFF that happen in normal everyday life has alarmingly faded in place of worry and constant anger at peoples idiocy and ignorance.

 

My thanks beforehand, Anssi J.

 

PS. Also even psoting this i find myself unable to do much at all but jsut wait and wait... for replies. I do not know if this speaks volumes of me or may even hint  at possible answer that i just need time to relax and recover... :S

Edited December 3, 2013 by Anuojat

[Lians]

I think it's perfectly reasonable to go through such an experience when you first find out about these things. I went through a similar phase myself about 2 years ago. Getting rid of decades of inflicted propaganda doesn't happen overnight. If your situation keeps getting worse, you may consider focusing on the self-knowledge parts of Stef's work. Remaining in the perpetually angry and disillusioned libertarian camp can become toxic over time.

 

In the long run, the philosophy of freedom maximises your chances of living a happy life relative to those who'd rather jump off the cliff of statism with blindfolds on. When you have to walk through a minefield, you want to be the guy with X-ray vision.

[Wuzzums]

Maybe you're feeling anxious because you're separating from your previous state of mind and implicitly from old relationships which will make you feel disconnected and alone. You're waiting for replies because you wanna know you're not alone or maybe you want someone to tell you everything's gonna be alright. Personally, I don't know 'bout the last part... yet. But there's no turning back from the truth, just keep walking forward.

[Anuojat]

I think it's perfectly reasonable to go through such an experience when you first find out about these things. I went through a similar phase myself about 2 years ago. Getting rid of decades of inflicted propaganda doesn't happen overnight. If your situation keeps getting worse, you may consider focusing on the self-knowledge parts of Stef's work. Remaining in the perpetually angry and disillusioned libertarian camp can become toxic over time.

 

In the long run, the philosophy of freedom maximises your chances of living a happy life relative to those who'd rather jump off the cliff of statism with blindfolds on. When you have to walk through a minefield, you want to be the guy with X-ray vision.

My thanks for the kind words. I probobly should state for the sake of clarity now that ive read a responce to my post:

 

I understand very much when i am calm and relaxxed that brooding over negativities if not productive and waiting stressed online for answers from ignorant statists (or marxists ect.) Really seems more like statist cage to be wrapped onself in, in other words i already know that if i do/say my piece and move on (as i recall stef saying) my everyday life is much more enjoyable.

 

I do have ideas and answers to many of my feelings, all my family and friends already know and to large decree understand my position. They have accepted that its simply matter of specialization and how "relevant" certain information is or isint that keeps ideas apart (or bad ones from being broken away).

 

I used to be christian socialist which mean NATURALLY i still have that annyong obsessive urge to chance peoples minds for the "better" and whenever i see something negative in the real world or news it drags me down because i cannot easily move on. ITs not that i cant do anything at all, its that i have urge and almost unreasonable need to "fix" everythign even when ive already done i possible humanely can! So yeah, its nto that i cant do something or havent done it, its that the little statist still in me wants to "fix" what is beyond his ability, and often lose focus of my own life or happiness.

 

Maybe you're feeling anxious because you're separating from your previous state of mind and implicitly from old relationships which will make you feel disconnected and alone. You're waiting for replies because you wanna know you're not alone or maybe you want someone to tell you everything's gonna be alright. Personally, I don't know 'bout the last part... yet. But there's no turning back from the truth, just keep walking forward.

1. Hmm all my current/old friends dont shy away from me because of this, theyre nto the problem. Problem is the unknown mass of idiots online (yes i know, sillyness ). About 60% of my daily stress comes from wathing videos with bad news or statistics or doom and gloom and no solutions or ideas. Truth is important always but what does one do when i already accept truth as it is?

2. Read my above reply too it also concerns same topic/ideas

[DaisyAnarchist]

I used to be christian socialist which mean NATURALLY i still have that annyong obsessive urge to chance peoples minds for the "better" and whenever i see something negative in the real world or news it drags me down because i cannot easily move on. ITs not that i cant do anything at all, its that i have urge and almost unreasonable need to "fix" everythign even when ive already done i possible humanely can!   So yeah, its nto that i cant do something or havent done it, its that the little statist still in me wants to "fix" what is beyond his ability, and often lose focus of my own life or happiness.

 

 

Being a "Christian Socialist" has little to do with your fixation on negative things in the world. That is caused by some wrong doing toward you in your past. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an issue for you as a libertarian. 

 

This is to the tune of what others here have posted: I think the main thing you need to focus on is your own inner world and feelings. Maybe you are trying to manage your anxiety by fixing everyone else or fixing other problems. It's fine to express your honest opinions and ideas about statism with others, but I hope you can distinguish between when you are avoiding your own feelings and when you are being honest. For me, this was, and still is at times, a struggle. Your post definitely resonates with me. 

 

What you really may be trying to fix is the traumas that you suffered as a child that you have not resolved. These do tie into statist principles. Public school is a deplorable place for children. As Stefan has said, working parents (parents that neglect/abandon their children during the day) are tax cows for the State. Perhaps on some level you are seeing that link and you feel it should not go on. Unfortunately, you can never go back and reverse the harm inflicted on you, nor change the adults that caused/permitted it. You can, however, go back in time in a sense to grieve it and allow yourself to feel whatever else comes up. As an adult, you may get some sense that you are affecting change when you talk to others and believe you can change them for the better. The reality is, the person you can affect the most and change in the most meaningful way is you. You seem to be aware of this on some level based on your second post, but I still get the feeling that you're not really sure of the source of your anxiety. I would ask yourself some questions in order to find out. Do you remember feeling fear as a child? What were the situations? Did you ever feel powerless? And you don't have to have answers right away. I think just asking yourself these things would be a good start. Stay with the anxiety.

[Anuojat]

Being a "Christian Socialist" has little to do with your fixation on negative things in the world. That is caused by some wrong doing toward you in your past. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an issue for you as a libertarian. 

 

This is to the tune of what others here have posted: I think the main thing you need to focus on is your own inner world and feelings. Maybe you are trying to manage your anxiety by fixing everyone else or fixing other problems. It's fine to express your honest opinions and ideas about statism with others, but I hope you can distinguish between when you are avoiding your own feelings and when you are being honest. For me, this was, and still is at times, a struggle. Your post definitely resonates with me. 

 

What you really may be trying to fix is the traumas that you suffered as a child that you have not resolved. These do tie into statist principles. Public school is a deplorable place for children. As Stefan has said, working parents (parents that neglect/abandon their children during the day) are tax cows for the State. Perhaps on some level you are seeing that link and you feel it should not go on. Unfortunately, you can never go back and reverse the harm inflicted on you, nor change the adults that caused/permitted it. You can, however, go back in time in a sense to grieve it and allow yourself to feel whatever else comes up. As an adult, you may get some sense that you are affecting change when you talk to others and believe you can change them for the better. The reality is, the person you can affect the most and change in the most meaningful way is you. You seem to be aware of this on some level based on your second post, but I still get the feeling that you're not really sure of the source of your anxiety. I would ask yourself some questions in order to find out. Do you remember feeling fear as a child? What were the situations? Did you ever feel powerless? And you don't have to have answers right away. I think just asking yourself these things would be a good start. Stay with the anxiety.

Well the "christian socialist" was just there to explain/contemplate my reasons for being so concerned at chancing peoples mind. One for religious "harmony" and one for social aid and emphaty. Neither of those are really what socialism or religion actually enteils but i mentioned that due to being to overtly concerned and bit preacy.

 

Now as to the original reason why i did that to begin with i thank you for going straight down to it, and to answer your questions:

 

As a child i was happy and content and curious, my parents were very neutral and caring and easy going and generally practical. They both had jobs but luckily even though i was in daycare and at school i did spend time with them quite nicely. HOWEVER, other children in daycare and school apparently did nto share the luxury of loving or active non-neglect parenting. Most were ok, some were bit wild (boredom in schools hou? ) but there were few that were the bullies with parents of the caliber of D- or worse. Some were traumatized and otherts were just rolling along with these bullies since hey, there someone with "confidance" when it really only was illusion of such. So yeah lots of bullying and me being very naive and "happy" child this would be prime target. Also crying was something i did often so i was easy prey, because i was "weak" for being kind and nice and happy. Seriously.

 

So yeah other kids whom had bad parents or life at home tossing theyre negativity unto me at public school. Along with sense of enstragement from other kids in higher school due to said bullying because now i was weary of bullies but didnt know whom to trust. Also i had/have aspergers syndrome (which often meant that i could NEVEREVER tell the differance between jokes and insults, heck even now its hard soemtimes) And also as 6-13 year old i had best friend as partial bully and other "friend" as someone who would bully me out of my best friends birthday parties. Ugh.

 

I could go on, but those are really the major things i remember from early and late childhood.

My parents were "semi-religious" but ultimately practical and nice, but jsut like theyre own childhoods my bullies had it bad. And that sepped into me i guess :S

[DaisyAnarchist]

As a child i was happy and content and curious, my parents were very neutral and caring and easy going and generally practical. They both had jobs but luckily even though i was in daycare and at school i did spend time with them quite nicely.

 

 

Why did both of your parents work?

 

How did you feel about the bullying? 

[Anuojat]

Why did both of your parents work?

 

How did you feel about the bullying? 

 

I do not know/remember correctly and id hardly wish to guess.

 

Well aside from the obvious crying and feeling sad. It was rather... blameful, as in i felt blamed for soemthing which was positive to i guess sad and contrdictionaery at same time?

Also felt blame for being "stupid" not being able to answer joke questions where the intention of asking it was to confuse the person and get them to say silly answer to make fun of.

 

Actually now that you mention it, i do sense some type of negert (spelling?) reaction when you asked this and when i pondered it, so definately the feeling of being blamed/laughed at all around you while not knowing if it was insult/joke or both. It was not helpless feeling but rather one where i got the feeling of being fool who ought to "grow up" as it were... oh yeah it was definately case withour school that one was gonna be "more adult than you". Now that was only 1 type of bullying. Some i dont even remember since they were probobly so hidious. I dunno.